Genius Within with Mike Zeller Ep #132

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Today’s episode has been three years in the making. This week Kristen welcomes her personal coach, Mike Zeller, for an inside look at what thoughts and processes it takes to grow into a seven-figure business owner. And it’s not what you might expect.

Today’s episode has been three years in the making. This week Kristen welcomes her personal coach, Mike Zeller, for an inside look at what thoughts and processes it takes to grow into a seven-figure business owner. And it’s not what you might expect.

Mike Zeller is the founder of three companies with over $300 million in sales and is the author of “The Genius Within: Your Natural Pathway to Impact, Fulfillment, & Wealth.” And still finds time to coach Kristen through the unpredictability that can be entrepreneurship.

Listen in as they go over these thought-provoking topics:

  • Money mindset and getting stuck in your story of worth
  • Importance of protecting the cocoon stage of your growth
  • Why it’s necessary to show gratitude for your past self in order to move forward
  • How to lead with giving in order to grow trust
  • Serving your audience and how the experience you offer sets you apart from the competition

When it comes to growing your business, it’s time to stop letting imaginary barriers keep you from your goals. Regardless of your budget, audience size, or what season you’re in – you can make big steps toward success using what you have now. Do the scary things.

If you’d like to learn more about Mike Zeller, click here to get his free guide: 6 Steps to Finding Your Genius.

And click here for a free copy of his book: The Genius Within.

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://Kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

Transcript for Episode #132 Genuis Withing with Mike Zeller:

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape, in this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:48):  Hey, bosses. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This week I have a really fun and special guest, someone who is special to me and my family. I’m bringing on my first mentor and first coach that I ever paid. And if you listen back to my ear, like my first five episodes of the podcast, I talk about what it was like when I hired Mike, and we’ll probably talk about that in that season of my life. But you can go back and listen to episode. I think it’s five, my personal story of resilience and resistance. But I thought it would be so fun to have one of my first coaches, Mike, on the show with me, to just have a conversation just about growth. Some things that, you know, we worked through together when I first started now, gosh, almost three, actually more than three years later. so Mike, I’m so glad you’re finally here on my podcast. We’ve talked about it for a while, but now we’re here.

Mike Zeller (01:40):  Kristin, honored to connect with you. As always, you’re a gem. And I could see that from our first conversation. I was like, This girl, this girl is a boss and she’s re when she steps up, she’s really going to step up and I love, love your heart and spirit, so can’t wait to dive in.

Kristen Boss (01:56):  Yes, super fun. Just to give some context for my audience. So I found Mike actually through Google It wasn’t really quite Google, but I was at an event and someone was on stage and I was in a season of my life where I was really craving growth. And I went up to that person that came off stage. I said, Listen, every person I know that’s had measures of success and directions, because they had a coach or a mentor, they were in a mastermind. I said, Tell me the mastermind you were in. He’s like, Oh yeah, Mike Zeer. I was like, I don’t know who that is, but I went to my hotel room, Googled it, found, found your website, and applied. And you know, I think it was a couple months later you were in Spain, I think you were traveling abroad with your wife.

Kristen Boss (02:37):  And yeah, you just asked me a few questions and I remember at the time, I didn’t even know what I really wanted. I just know I wanted more and I was stuck. And Mike, you have this gift because I’ve been in, you know, I was in your mastermind, I think, you know, I was in that for six to eight months. Met a lot of amazing people through you. I don’t know if know if you know that I have this joke about you, but I call you the Kevin Bacon of in the entrepreneurial world. Like you’re just like one or two degrees removed from literally everybody. I’m like, like, Oh, Tony Robbins. I know a guy. I know a guy who knows, a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy. Like you’re probably the most well networked person I know. And maybe we’ll talk about that a little bit, but I just remember at the time I just, I didn’t know what I want. But your unique genius is you help bring the genius out in others and help them find their potential and matching that to a need in the marketplace. And you actually wrote a book about it after, it was after you had coached me, but you finally wrote a book about it, about the process and called it the Genius Within, Right?

Mike Zeller (03:43):  Yeah. And and it’s funny, you end your book with a mention of me and I start my book with mention of you, I think. so it’s pretty fun. But it is, yeah, I think my obsession is unlocking the genius of others and unlocking their, their divine potential. I remember in college that, that I had that divine download. I was staying at a campus ministry event and, and it was one of the biggest campus ministry events we had ever had. I was like, I think I’m meant to unlock people’s divine gifts and their potential. And I was like, Oh, I think everyone’s supposed to do that. And, and I didn’t take it too seriously. And then I was like, ah, then my false belief that I felt like I had to do next. And I loved business. And I remember I felt like God was kind of shutting the door on vocational full-time ministry for me.

Mike Zeller (04:36):  As I finished up seminary. Ironically, I’m getting my master’s in Christian leadership and moving to Nashville to help start a church. And I thought, Oh, I’m going to be in ministry. Nope. I felt like this nudge that you’re not supposed to be in full-time vocational ministry, you’re supposed to be in the marketplace. And then I thought my path was to, you know, build and scale businesses and do all that, and then exit like $50 million or a hundred million dollar exit and then I get to mentor. Well and then I’d eventually do mentoring like full time when I’m closer to 40. That, that was my like them.

Kristen Boss (05:10):  That’s our plan.

Mike Zeller (05:11):  Yeah, Yeah, exactly. And then, but then, you know what, I haven’t had that 50 or a hundred million dollar exit. I’ve had businesses do, you know, big volumes. But I needed to ultimately step more deeply into my purpose. And, and so at 35 I started getting amazing people like yourself approached me, you know, this is like seven or eight years ago, started approaching me to mentor and coach and and I fell more in love with it than I ever had before, even while I was doing it in college. So it’s an honor. So I, I love, love what I do and I love that it, it’s always going to be a part of my life purpose in some capacity. Yeah.

Kristen Boss (05:49):  It’s so funny. I love that you said, you know, when you first thought about what you wanted to do and your purpose, your initial story that came up was like, Oh, but that everybody’s supposed to do that. And I just think how often people walk around dismissing their purpose because they assume it’s commonplace. They assume like, Well, everybody thinks this, don’t they? And I remember that was one of the things that you helped me uncover is like yeah, that thing that you keep writing off is actually what you’re really good at. I was like, Wait, what? Not everybody thinks this way or shows up this way, but we walk around with our, with biases of what we offer the world. We just think isn’t that like, that’s not that special, right?

Mike Zeller (06:31):  Yeah, it’s so true. We, we, and it’s partly because we know it so intimately and partly in our, our culture, our middle class mindset is like so focused on improving our weaknesses instead of owning our genius. Like we want to hide and diminish our gifts sometimes so that we don’t make other people uncomfortable when, you know, if you even, you go through biblical side, you go through peak performance side, hey, the people that own their genius and also manage their weaknesses. Great sports teams, you know, like you guys now in Denver have Russell Wilson, great quarterback Broncos will be relevant again.

Kristen Boss (07:13):  Yes and we’ve been hurting since Manning left them.

Mike Zeller (07:16):  No. You have, you have. Yeah. And and, but you need a great team. You need people in the right positions. You need people that kick butt in their respective positions, but that are also honest with where they’re not good at and owning that. And that’s why like the New England Patriots, while Brady was there, they Bill Bell Check had this mantra that everybody bought into, Do your job, not so-and-so’s job. If you’re building a team or you’re part of a team or an organization, do your job. Kick butt at that first. And then if you can help pick up the slack somewhere else, do that. But first, do your job and own your greatness.

Kristen Boss (07:58):  I remember one of the first, So, you know, there’s, there’s a lot of things I’ve learned from you and continue to learn from you cuz we’ve stayed friends over the years and it’s been really fun just staying connected and seeing what we’re, what we’re both up to. But I remember one of the earliest lessons with you was actually just about permission to have and it was like money mindset that was like, Yeah, we worked through a lot of that. And what’s so interesting is people are listening to this podcast, they’re hearing me in chapter 20, like way down the road But you were there like in in the literal, probably the one of the hardest times of my life and Oh yeah, I remember it was like, you know, you had this six week little group program that you were just testing and I was struggling so hard with paying you the $2,000 is like, I can’t do it.

Kristen Boss (08:45):  My life felt so strapped, so hard. Like you even saw me come to calls with a black eye. Like you literally saw everything in my personal life kind of get challenged when I said yes to growth. Yeah. And I see with a lot of entrepreneurs is they, they do get, they do get stuck around their stories of worth, like spending the money on myself, spending the money on a dream, feeling permission to, to make money and not feel like they’re going to turn into, you know, Ebeneezer Scrooge because there is a lot of people have those stories. So you know, one of the things we work on and continue to work on is our money mindset. So kind of what’s been your story with money, your mind, money mindset and how you’ve taught that to others?

Mike Zeller (09:29):  Yeah, I think, you know, I grew up pretty middle class. I mean, even though we had a beautiful house that was paid for on a small works farm cuz my dad inherited some money and he had some money saved and all that. But my parents definitely had a middle class mindset and, and meaning you know, the work or the money that you receive is based on hours, based on time put in, not necessarily based on the value that you create in the world. And, and then, you know, the mantra in middle class, one of them is, hey, if you want a job done right, do it yourself. Do yourself you know, those type things. And versus a billionaire mindset, if you want a job done right, like the best higher, the best f in person you can find yes. Like it is just like boom, that you can afford and it can transform your life by that.

Mike Zeller (10:23):  And you delegate, delegate, delegate to find the thing that you’re one of the best in the world at, or the thing that you can do and earn a thousand bucks an hour versus doing all the things that are 10 or $20 an hour task is, it doesn’t just take up time, it takes up mental bandwidth and energy, mental energy and emotional energy. So I’m still continually protecting myself. I love my mom, I love my dad, but my dad came from post World War II Germany. Like he was eligible for the malnutrition programs that the UN allied forces offered to the German people. and he lost like half of his teeth by the time he was like 15 because of malnutrition. And then my mom grew up in, you know, farm where they raised most of their food. they didn’t go on big tr like some of the things I do are still foreign to her, even though she’s got a house that’s worth almost $2 million Yeah. That’s, you know, down in, in Franklin, Tennessee. So but you have to, to sh to become who you’re meant to be, you have to shed the old self. That old self has to die for the new self to emerge. It’s the butterfly merge from the, the caterpillar. And one of my favorite stories actually comes from a, I think it’s second Chronicles seven 14 maybe, but there’s this verse in the Bible might be, it’s in Chronicles and talks about David King David and it, it said, and David perceived king as king.

Kristen Boss (11:55):  Yes, yes.

Mike Zeller (11:57):  But the challenge is, if we unpack that and the, the timing of that, he had already been proclaimed the next King of Israel years before, but he didn’t perceive it. He didn’t receive it and he didn’t acknowledge it and he didn’t own it internally. So we’re meant to be kings and queens of our worlds and to own the greatness that it we were born with, that we were destined to exhibit. and that help others unlock. But when we play small, small IDUs, a deadly pestilence, more deadly than Covid, more deadly than Spanish, flu more deadly than the black plague. And yet it infects all of us in some way. And I’m continually having to cleanse myself and help others cleanse themselves. A small artist and money mindset is just like, I think it’s an, it’s almost like an invisible container. It is of self-worth. And I know women, almost every woman I deal with, we have to work on every Christian or someone of faith based background. We got to, we got to.

Kristen Boss (12:57):  Even more layers,

Mike Zeller (12:58):  Some gun gout. Oh yeah.

Kristen Boss (13:00):  Yeah. Oh yeah, Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, this idea of shedding an old identity, we can say, Yeah, I’m ready to go, but we forget how painful that is or we have no idea how painful that is. Literally before we press record, I was telling you, I was like, I feel like I’m in, like there’s the, you know, the very clear before there is the caterpillar and then there is the very beautiful after that is the butterfly. But we forget that there is this cocoon experience where you are just go, you are nothing. It is the, the muck middle and you are neither there nor here. And that can be deeply, deeply uncomfortable and not just to yourself, but I was thinking of, as you were saying, David perceived he was king, like he decided to own the identity. I also think when we decide to own the identity of who we are meant to be and how we are meant to fully show up in this world, there are going to be people that are deeply put off when we decide to own, own that identity.

Kristen Boss (14:00):  It’s like, it makes them extremely uncomfortable. And I, I think it’s because we’re challenging them choosing to not step into their own identity. And it makes it painful because people want to believe, I don’t have choice, this is the identity I have, but when we step into our identity, we step into that calling it saying like, No, we do have choice. We can, we can do that. But it makes, I think it creates a lot of pain and that’s when I see people maybe start to step into the identity and then as soon as an old friend says something, a colleague send something even harder, a family member says something, they kind of shrink back and be like, Okay, I’ll just go back to being the caterpillar, because you all knew me as the caterpillar and you love me as the caterpillar, right? Yeah. So how do we?

Mike Zeller (14:45):  A hundred percent

Kristen Boss (14:46):  What do you tell somebody when they’re in that phase? They’re like, Okay, I know I’m meant to be, be more, but I’m deeply, deeply terrified of what that might cost me.

Mike Zeller (14:57):  Yeah, that’s a great question. And, and I know you’ve been through some hard elements of your journey with that at Tobi. And one of the crazy things, first, as much as possible, you got to protect the cocoon stage. is like a caterpillar. If you pierce that cocoon in the midst of it being transformed and butterfly, everything’s done, it’s dead. Right? So you got to protect that phase as much as possible. So holding what is happening close to close to the best, to the safe people in your life. There’s hallmarks of safe people. Henry Cloud has a great book called Safe People that helps you understand, hey, who’s safe and not safe in your world if you, if you balance with that or struggle with that. So you got to be aware of that. You got to count the cost and you also got to find the leverage.

Mike Zeller (15:48):  So what’s the inner lever like, what am I going to miss out on in my life and who is going to suffer because I played small? got to get really clear and anchor to that. If you play small, who is going to suffer if you don’t make this next big leap? And the next big leap, by the way, I mean, most of us we have, I think we have three zones. We have our comfort zone, a discomfort zone that is typically 10 to 15% beyond our comfort zone. So it’s not a huge stretch, it’s just enough to make you uncomfortable cuz the magic is found in the discomfort zone and then you got the paralysis zone. Yes, And whereas just too much where you’re going to melt. And you know, like my paralysis zone is a little bit more than my wife’s. cause she, you know, and so you got to know who you are, where you are. And if, if you can get anchored to the why and your leverage, find that leverage protect the cocoon stage or the transformation stage, because we all have to go through it, especially in today’s time where change is happening faster than ever. and I love the transition season, that’s where I kind of excel, like where you wanted to go to the next level, you know, and you know, you’re meant for it. And I know you’re meant for another level that we’ve talked about. I don’t know if your audience knows, but it’s.

Kristen Boss (17:03):  I talked about it, I’ve teased it, but yeah.

Mike Zeller (17:05):  Can’t wait for that. but you got to also say a part of it is also thinking that old identity how it served you and how it got you to where you are, but how now it needs to not be in the driver’s seat, but be in the back seat and create space for that new identity to step up and lead the next season of your journey.

Kristen Boss (17:33):  Hmm. That’s so good. I have two thoughts on that. One is, you know, the concept of holding, like really fiercely protecting yourself and your dream in that cocoon stage. And I know I’ve done that over multiple times. Every time there is something new, I hold it extremely close because I’m still building my own belief in the thing. So if my belief is, if I’m still in my own belief building phase, I’m not going to invite any very few opinions into that phase because it’s so fragile. Like you said, a pin prick can do it. And you know who I, who I allow to have that are other butterflies people who have gone through the mess of the transition. They’re like, Yep, been there, done it. Oh, that horrible goo phase in the cocoon. I’m I I’m with you. I understand. And I think maybe the question I would ask to my audience is look around, look in your life and are you surrounded by caterpillars or butterflies? Are you surrounded by only people, everyone who stays the same and they value the status quo, they value like, oh, you’re still the same person as I remember. And that’s valuable to me because that’s predictable instead of like, there are people who do not value change and they see changes risky, They see it as a threat. they see it as like, you’re not who I thought you were anymore. You’ve changed now. I’m like, Yeah, darn right I have and I’m about to do it again.

Mike Zeller (18:51):  That’s right.

Kristen Boss (18:51):  Just kinda look around being like, are you around caterpillars or butterflies? Like, if you’re around a bunch of butterflies, you’re around people who value change, who value growth, and your conversations are going to be different with people who value growth versus people who value the status quo value, like predictability and understanding that’s a survival tactic. So, and that’s partly why I reached out to you. I was like, I need to talk to like the master ba butterfly, dude Like, I need to, and I also need to get in rooms where I’m not the only person saying yes to this. I I need to not do this alone and I want to be in other rooms where people value growth. And that is something that has served me over and over again as I’m never done, you know, growing and being in rooms and being like, Okay, where’s that person? What are they learning? What conversations are they having? And that was hugely transformative for me. I just remember being in your first mastermind thinking like, What am I doing here? I’m just, I’m just a mom of two kids and I don’t even know what’s going on. But it was, it was life changing, right? Yeah.

Mike Zeller (19:53):  That’s amazing. Yeah. And now look at you, you, you got your first, your first of many bestselling books out and you’re, you’re a world changer. You’re speaking in front of thousands of people and inspiring, equipping so many women to live their dreams and men. And and you’re just getting started. You’re like a fraction, fraction fraction of who you’re going to be in 10 years.

Kristen Boss (20:17):  Yes. I think I was, that thought finally like dawned on me, I don’t know, maybe it was a few months ago where I’m like, holy moly, I I’m just getting started. There’s so much more ahead of me. Yeah. There’s so much more to do and to create. So this, I want to go back to this other thing that you said is like showing gratitude for our old selves, for our past selves. And like, we tend to judge our past selves and think like, why couldn’t you get it together? Or we want to bring that old self with us because we think it serves. And I, I remember a very specific, specific time. There’s been multiple times I’ve done it. One was recently with you in a VIP session that we did, and it was, I remember specifically I had to thank the mom, the, the me actually that right before she decided to work with you.

Kristen Boss (21:03):  I had to think that version of me who was deeply struggl struggling in the world, very afraid, very like, couldn’t sleep at night because she was always wondering like, how, how can I make more money to just make ends meet? And like, I couldn’t even grasp the concept of having like more than $500 in my savings account. Like Yeah. And always living in that truly survival mode. And it took me, I would say probably 18 months to two years to finally feel safe and to let that young mom of two kids who was, who worked, who had never worked less than two jobs for, you know, the entirety of my marriage. And I had to thank that person and say, I love you. You were so resourceful. You were so strong, you really kept it together. You were always looking for the best thing, but this very scared survival version of you. Like, I can see how you were just keeping me safe all that time, but now you’re keeping me small and yeah, I love you and thank you and you, this part of, you can rest now and we’re moving on. And I remember that being, I get choked up just thinking about it because that was very powerful.

Mike Zeller (22:21):  I got chills. You’re about to make me cry over here again.

Kristen Boss (22:24):  Well, I think it was because you, you literally saw that broke, struggling, very scared mom of two who was like, I’m not sure how this is going to work out. But I just remember I had to like think, think that version and be like, Okay, that very scared version of you. She can, she can rest now, man. She was scrappy and she got it together, but we’re here now and you know, we’re good now. And so again, thinking those versions of ourselves and saying like, you did serve me, but now if I keep you, you’re going to keep me small because I see that you’re scared again. Right?

Mike Zeller (22:57):  Yeah. Yeah. I mean, wipe away the tears for a second, Kristen. Made me tear up.

Kristen Boss (23:03):  Just like the special, this is like, this is the best part of our work is coaches, isn’t it?

Mike Zeller (23:08):  Yeah. It’s what we lived for, you know, and, and seeing, seeing potential that you believed in come to reality and seeing lives change and seeing joy and peace and abundance and, and purpose being fulfilled. And but I think, I think when I look back at your journey when you were in that stage, you know, I think it’s, you didn’t give up. You, you were willing to take courageous action. You were willing to dance in the discomfort zone. And even today and morphing into the next level identity, you’re, you’re doing the hard thoughtful work, which the thinking work and the transformation identity work. I like to say in my book, I wrote about how your identity precedes your destiny. Yep.

Mike Zeller (23:56):  And, and you’re doing that work so that your identity will support the next level of your self. That’s why, you know, lottery winners, you know, they make whatever, 25 million in a power ball, three and a half years later, 74% of them are bankrupt. because their identity, they didn’t build that identity to get them there. That muscle, that those habits, the discipline, the self-worth, and for any of your listeners, for yourself, you know, as long as you stay on that path and, and you know, you got to be reflective of like, Oh, this isn’t working, why isn’t this working? And then you get a little, you pivot slightly, keep micro pivoting until you end up exactly where you need to be. but man, it’s, it’s, there’s a lot of identity work and I think, you know, you’re at a higher level now, but even then you were working on your identity and the identity work is, is something you can’t skip. because even if you get all the success in the world and your identity doesn’t support it, you’ll, you’ll burn the success down or you’ll blow it. And so and I like, and I like also that you have a higher purpose and you’re driven by purpose. and that’s, I think that’s a key ingredient for part of your success too. So Yeah.

Kristen Boss (25:20):  It’s, you know, you, you can’t skip the identity work and it’s, I think it’s the part that some people are like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, I’ll get it. Or they think like, I’ll, I’ll finally, you know, I’ll act like a like an owner of a million dollar business when I, my business make goes a million dollars. But I know for me, like I was working on that identity before I even made my first six figures, I was like, okay, what is the version of me? And I had to like play pretend all the time. And it’s, and it’s not, it is, I want to be so clear. It is not the fake it until you make it mantra because that you’re not even, that’s not even authentic that it feels forced. And that I think just creates a breeding ground for imposter syndrome because then how do you know it’s really you?

Kristen Boss (26:03):  But it’s always asking yourself constantly revisiting that future version of you and being like, Okay, well that person of me that does have a seven figure business eight figure business, or the version of me that has, you know, a New York Times bestseller or whatever else, how are they viewing the situation? How are they visiting this decision? How are they thinking about this setback? How are they thinking about this roadblock? And I think when we are constantly sitting with our future selves, it makes us actually very resilient to any setbacks we have at present, because we’re like, I’m going to be fine. I, I know. Hold on, let me just check in with my future self. Oh, my future self is looking at the situation. Like, yeah, that was was a great learning opportunity. May not have been fun, but here’s all the good that came from it and I’m glad I went through it.

Kristen Boss (26:49):  And one of the things that, you know, we are, we’re always talking about in the personal development world, in the coaching world is you have to be okay with failure and you have to be okay. Like putting something out, trying, failing, and then trying again, And so like what, I mean, I think you had told me several times, and I think it made it safe for me too, when you had told me you’re like, Kristen, I’ve had many failed ventures, but look at where I am today. I was like, Oh, okay. It’s safe to fail. And I love hearing about successful people that have failures. Like, you know, when I hear about them that like isn’t quite normal for like billionaires and you know, a hundred millionaires. Like they’ve, they’ve gone through bankruptcy them like, they’re like.

Mike Zeller (27:31):  Oh yeah. Twice. Twice. Not just once, usually twice.

Kristen Boss (27:34):  So when I heard that, it was like, wait a minute, they are thinking about money and debt and success and failure completely differently than how most people do. Right?

Mike Zeller (27:48):  Yeah. And it goes down to, you know, middle class versus abundant or billionaire mindset, you know, middle class, it’s like, don’t fail because you’ll embarrass yourself. higher net worth individuals is like, failure is just learning. Like Sarah Blakely one of my favorite stories as a child, her dad used to ask her that one question, which, you know, right. Is that?

Kristen Boss (28:14):  Did you feel that today?

Mike Zeller (28:15):  That’s right. Yeah. And her every single dinner, Right. That was the question. And then if they, her and her brother didn’t fail at anything that day, then they, before they went to bed, they had to go try something to fail at it. To just embrace the philosophy that failure is not failure, it’s just learning. It’s kind of like I have a little daughter saw it and you know, she’s just now starting to walk and she’s kind of bumbling around and, and you know, needs the couch and different things to walk most of the time. But when she starts walking on her own and then she falls down, I’m not going to kick her and say, stupid girl.

Kristen Boss (28:52):  Yeah. But we do it to ourselves. Right. That’s what everybody, what so many people do. They fail and they’re like, I knew it. I suck and I I never should have gone for it. And it’s definitely me. Yeah. Goodbye future.

Mike Zeller (29:04):  Yeah, exactly. And I’m like, shoot, you know, Colonel Sanders didn’t make his until he was like 67. Henry Ford was broke at age 43 and bankrupt second time by age 53. He was the world’s wealthiest man. Yeah. As you know, things can change and, and obviously it’s not just based on the wealth side, it’s marriage, relationships, parenting. every aspect of life. And because we’re, we’re, we’re, you know, I’m an, I’m a first time parent and even on the second time parent, I’ll still be learning and bumbling forward and I’m okay, you know we haven’t lived a life before. What if we, what if we embrace the perspective? We haven’t lived a life before and this is the earth is our whole playground and, and life and business and creating things and experimenting with things. It’s part of the joy of living is try and experimenting and anyway. So I think we need to detach ourselves to, from outcomes in the short term. Cuz over the long term, if, if we keep learning and growing, we’re going to be where we need to be. And and we’re going to be, become who we need to become as well. So I think failure is more of our friend than our foe if we let it be so .I just rhymed. I didn’t mean to.

Kristen Boss (30:28):  I was like, Wait, hold on. Was that a, did you quote that from somewhere?

Mike Zeller (30:32):  I, I’m a poet. I’m a literal poet over here guys. Just pay attention, spoken word tour coming up

Kristen Boss (30:41):  I think it’s so funny. I think if someone were to ask me like, what’s something you failed at? I think there was a time in my life and I’m not sure when I did it, but I would ha probably have a hard time answering because I’ve reframed so much of my thinking around around failure. I probably wouldn’t, like, I would probably say, ah, there’s some really hard lessons I learned, but I don’t think my brain immediately is like, Yep, that was a failure. And I’m not sure, I wish I knew when that really sunk in for me. But I do know it was recently when someone asked me like, What have you recently failed that? And I’m like, fail, fail. What have I failed at? And I, but then when I reframed it, I’m like, Oh, what are some hard lessons? I was like, Oh, well let me just give you about 10.

Kristen Boss (31:27):  Let me give you at least like from just this year alone. It’s just like, okay, it’s fine. I also want to, this is another thing that I think you’re just brilliant at that I know my audience will really enjoy hearing from you. But you are, you know, you’re a master networker. You’re a master at like building relational equity with a lot of people and being someone of value to many different people. And that is definitely something I learned from you early on is just like, I just remember every call we ended. You’re like, How else can I serve you today? I’m like, Dude, you just gave me like five breakthroughs. You, you’re asking how else you can serve me. But the posture of that I think is so powerful. So I would love you to just share a couple things with my audience about, you know, how did you become like someone who had a great network and became a good networker? Because I think people struggle with that.

Mike Zeller (32:20):  Yeah. I think, great question. so I think I, I learned from like Zig Ziegler and John Maxwell. Zig says, Hey, if you help enough people get what they want, you’ll eventually get what you want. But then John Maxwell, I remember after reading his 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader, that was the first book I ever read on leadership. And he talks about how being you’re called to be a go giver and to be a to lead with giving and that builds trust that opens up doors. And you know, like for example, I’m launching a new brand Superhuman. Ive and it’s all about reverse aging. solve four core problems, reverse aging elevating peak energy. So next time you come to Nashville, I got you covered. yes on both those also treating addiction and depression. But you know, and this one nutrient NAD plus does all four of those things.

Mike Zeller (33:19):  And so what I’m doing now is I’m approaching nonprofits in charities and then we’re going to say, Hey, we’ll sponsor your banquet for your greatest givers or, you know, biggest donors or whatever exactly the people that we want to be in the room with. And one of them has like 500 people come into a dinner. So I told the lady on Friday, I’m like, Hey, I’ll give you $62,000 worth of gift cards to give out to the audience and you know, so that each person there gets $300 or whatever it is. Yeah. and, and leading with giving. And then people get to come and see that we are good taste and see that we’re good and that this, they like the service. And not everyone will use the gift card, but leading with the giving. like every, I I’m always asking before I reach out to someone, how can I give to them what is going on, What might be going on in their world?

Mike Zeller (34:15):  And even if I have something that I might want from them in return sometimes I don’t, sometimes I’m like, you know what? Like, I connected you and Jenna for podcasts. I didn’t, I didn’t have any ulterior motive or any, there’s no real benefit other than, Hey, both of you guys win. that’s a win for me. If I help friends in my world win, that’s a win. And then what happens is, and I learned this, I got this anchored further by Keith Rai’s book, Never Eat Alone, but every time I’m put in deposits in, now I have a bank account so strategically, now again, I was doing this before I learned the actual tactical element of it because I have a bank account of trust. Yep. And then if I’m like, Hey Kristen, can you nurse me to X, Y, Z?

Mike Zeller (35:05):  Then chances are, you’ll probably do it. Or it, and it just deepens the relationship because people, we all long to help another person that altruistic motive. we get that, that, that little endorphin or serotonin, whatever, I forgot what oxytocin Yeah. Chemical is released. So just being intentional and going out of your way and doing it on a weekly basis, like on my best weeks, I’ll block off two or three hours and make connections for people over the course that, that week sometimes in one block. But oftentimes it’s spread out over the course of week and I’m just, boom, Hey, this would be great for this person, This would be great. And everyone wins.

Kristen Boss (35:46):  Yes. That’s so good. I’ve gotten such amazing connections with you. And I remember I was, oh gosh, where was it? I was coming back from a keynote and I was on a, I was on a flight home and someone was just chatting up with me and Yes, what I did. And he’s like, Oh, you know, I could use the coach. I was like, Stop, I’m, I’m going to connect you with Mike right now. I was like, literally in first class while I was, you know, emailing the contact with this guy. He’s like, Can you connect me? Yes. Say no more. I’m going to connect you with Mike. Yeah. Because I do, you know, the law of reciprocity, Reciprocity is real. I mean like, and you can do it, you can see it simply by, if you were to walk up to a department store and open, there’s two sets of double doors and you were to open up the first set for the person walking in you say, Here you go, Come on in.

Kristen Boss (36:28):  And then they go in. Oftentimes, more often than not, they’re grabbing the door for you. When you’re making your way in. Like how often do we see that? It’s just, Yeah. It’s human nature where we want to reciprocate with appreciation and say thank you. Yeah. We want to meet generosity with generosity. Another great book is the Go Giver. I remember I read that early on and that’s been great too. And one of the things you were always giving me books. Like I remember what, like my first mastermind with you, I didn’t pack a big enough suitcase because of all the books. I was like, Yeah, yeah. This guy in his books. But it’s, it’s so valuable and I’ve learned so many things from all the books you’ve given me and I’m still working through them, but I know that that’s one of your superpowers is you were, I don’t how many books a year do you read through? I feel like it’s a ton.

Mike Zeller (37:11):  Probably 60 to 70.

Kristen Boss (37:14):  That’s what I was thinking. I was going to guess like upwards of a hundred, but 60 to 70, that’s still a lot. It’s a lot.

Mike Zeller (37:20):  Yeah. Yeah, it is. And ironically, I’m now friends with Bob Berg, the Go Giver. Oh really? Yeah. So

Kristen Boss (37:27):  Told you Kevin Bacon. See?

Mike Zeller (37:29):  Yeah. So that happened last year, but yeah, and it’s just been intentional, guys. I think it, it’s also put in at tuning your ears. Yes. To like, for example, I’ve, I’ve got this book right here, Lifespan and Dr. Davidson, Claire professor of genetics at Harvard and the leading antiaging researcher in the world. And one my best friend I’m seeing him in two weeks and he, his mom has breast cancer unfortunately. And there’s stuff in this book that would help him accelerate and increase her chances of being a hundred percent cured. So I’m going to buy that book for him and talk and even probably I’m going to bring the some n 80 plus supplements for every single guy on that trip and just get, because yeah, I believe in it. And I have a clinic that we do that in Nashville and we’re mobile and we do it all over the country at events and stuff.

Mike Zeller (38:25):  But I want him to like be aware, and I know he’ll read it too cuz I’ve already talked with him about it. But like, man, if, if, if we attune ourselves to the challenges people face, whether you’re a mom, whether you’re a dad and you just figure out ways you can support and it doesn’t, like I have the supplements I’m going to give them I don’t have any investment in the company, I’ll be paying out of pocket. Right? But it’s like just a being thoughtful. And people remember, like if you look at extraordinary service, Ritz Carlton, you go to state of Ritz, Man, I love Ritz. Yeah. Why do we pay? It’s the, that isn’t much different than Marriott. Yeah. But the service, that extra touch. Right. You know, Apple stores, how they design the retail experience, they said, Hey, we’re not going to have commission sales people.

Mike Zeller (39:22):  We’re going to drive and teach and train our team to serve first. And, and you go into Apple store, everything works. I’ve literally sat there for an hour and sent emails later on, watch tv, played games with, you know, people just come and check in and make sure you’re okay, but no pressure you get to enjoy. And that now your brand and your part of your, your reputation and how you show up and how you serve and how you make a difference in people’s lives is your brand and how they experience you. Are you present with them? Yes. Do you care? Do you give, do you listen? Do you ask great questions or you just send it for yourself?

Kristen Boss (40:02):  Yes. Oh, this is so good because I, so many, and I’m glad you’re talking about your supplements because so many in my audience, they’re selling, you know, a product online and I think they’ll deeply relate with that. And this idea of like, there is the product that people buy, but then there is the experience they associate with a product and they can buy the same product from two different people. And the person that provides the better experience they’re going to have, you know, a longer relationship with that customer. They’re going to go for the person where they have the best experience, even if the product is the same. Or I would say even if there was a product that maybe might be less, like less in quality than the other product that’s higher in quality. Yeah. But the one with the lesser, the lesser quality and the higher service, they will choose the one with a better service because experience matters.

Kristen Boss (40:50):  That is what has people coming back. Yeah. And you said something really important. You said, you know, serving for their benefit, being attuned. And I also think it’s really important to letting go of your attachment of how you think the outcome and the connection should go. It is always in the posture of like, could be with this person, I’m still going to create an amazing experience. I’m going to follow up, I’m going to see how they like it. And it might not be for them. And it’s okay because there’s thousands of other people who could be interested. But most people they might do that. They might give the sample, they might give the experience, but they attach an expectation of how they expect it to go. And once we do that, I think we lose, we take away the experience and it creates a less valuable transaction between you and the customer Right. When we come with me.

Mike Zeller (41:38):  Yeah, exactly. And, and, and it can create an icky experience that ickiness that we don’t want. Right. And, and at the end of the day, like, you know, I started, heck, if you look on the totem pole of the least least respected professions as like attorneys and then used car salesman. I had a used car dealership, Right. Guys that started a used car dealership. But one of the fundamental things before we even opened it that it, my partners and I, we sat down and we committed to, and we were all committed to, is like, we didn’t want any of that achiness. We wanted it, we said, Hey, we want to create the best car buying experience, the most integris, most fair minded. And then, so the best car buy car buying experience in the southeast was our goal. Which I think we did achieve it, at least at our best moments. We were that. And then we wanted to give away cars to single mothers in need. Every car helped us impact and serve others. We partnered with nonprofits for that. And so we gave away 37 cars during our life, during my time of ownership. And it was like almost $400,000 worth of cars that changed people’s lives. And, but we wanted, I knew I had this vision, I was like, I want to be able to walk into a restaurant and see one of our customers Mm. And not want to duck my head.

Kristen Boss (43:03): Hmm. So good.

Mike Zeller (43:04):  And I wanted them to be excited. So like, anytime we’re selling a product, promoting a product we wanted, it doesn’t have to be perfect. No one’s perfect. My first book, Genius Within is not perfect. It’s good. It’s not perfect. You know, you’re first book, there’s probably things and after it came out you’re like freaking, I, I wish I put that in.

Kristen Boss (43:24):  Yep.

Mike Zeller (43:25):  And but delivering with integrity and, and part of integrity is known, Hey, I’m going to put my best foot forward in this moment knowing that I’m going to be even better another, you know, tomorrow than I am today. But serve, serve, serve. You never never go wrong. And, and being proactive and intentional about benefiting other people’s lives without attachment doesn’t mean you want to be a bonehead and just serve to people that will never become your ideal client. Right. but be intentional and serve well.

Kristen Boss (44:02):  Mm. That is so good, Mike. I love it cuz I’m like, hear that everybody, I say this every week, but now you heard it from somebody else.

Mike Zeller (44:10):  It’s like hearing it. What is it he say every week?

Kristen Boss (44:13):  I always like serve well serve without attachment, Serve, serve, serve. And you can never go wrong with serving. You know, again, make sure you’re getting in front of your ideal clients. I even love that you’re like, oh no, when we thought about that space in that charity dinner, it was like a room full of our ideal clients. So of course this is what I’m going to do and we’ll just wrap it up with this. Like, someone might hear that and think, Well, I don’t have $60,000 of gift certificates to give away. How can I be someone of value with what I have today? What would you say to them?

Mike Zeller (44:43):  Think you’re, I would say you’re thinking too small. Cause I if they, if it was $60,000 on the company’s bank account, that would not work right now. but I know I, I know I’m thinking bigger and thinking more creatively knowing that I got anyway on this case, I got profit margin and all that stuff built in. But who else could you invite to the cause? Who else could come alongside you that would want to support and believe in and impact people in a similar way? And then how could you serve what’s, it’s not just like, hey, this big giant step, what’s your next right step? What’s the step that’s right in front of you that you’ve not been faithful with, that you’ve been denying or delaying and you’re allowing resistance to win, resistance to smack you in the face and knock you back?

Mike Zeller (45:41):  That’s the small steps, the small victories. One of the crazy things, I can’t remember which book read, but someone said, you make three small steps every single day in your career. Your dreams or your goals, your relationship, whatever, Guess what, three steps, times 360 five that adds up, that’s over a thousand small victories over the course of a year. Who can’t make three small steps? Might be a small step, might be a call, might be if, if you’re on a product you know, base business, social selling, giving out three small samples to someone that you just might benefit, you know, or encouraging someone send three encouraging messages a day. Guess what? You, you blast people and you become known as a master source of joy and love and belief. And you encourage, encourage, encourage and believe in others. And you just become a great human being. If you become obsessed with being a great human being, I promise you, you will do better in your business.

Kristen Boss (46:42):  I just remember, I even did that early on for me it was just like, I was just constantly encouraging people, offering value, offering value and being like, I don’t, it’s not my business to know who’s it going to impact today. It’s just my business to go to show up and do it and to serve and to keep showing up. That’s my responsibility to myself. And I love that you said, you know, what are, what are the things that you’re avoiding? And one of the things I always ask my students, I’m like, We’re going to find your drama real fast and I’m going to ask you one question. And they’re like, Oh no. And I’m like, what are you not doing that you know, you should be. Yeah. And every time it’s like a gut punch because you can’t hide from that question. It’s like we always are acutely aware of where we are still plain small, where we are engineering ourselves or we are allowing resistance to have the final say or we’re saying, No, not today.

Kristen Boss (47:33):  Maybe it’s not a good day. I’m like, anytime you want to uncover some stories, ask yourself, What am I not doing today that I know I could be doing? Not even I’ll remove should because, should, should kind of sounds judgey sometimes, but like, what am I not doing that I know i I could be doing that could benefit somebody else? And like, like what you said, going back to your original why of like, who would suffer if you didn’t step into your purpose? Who would suffer? Who’s waiting for you to do the thing that you keep tucking away saying another day, saying when I’m ready, saying a little more research, saying all these stories that are just, that they’re just stories that we tell ourselves that give us permission to stay small and we’re not about that. Right.

Mike Zeller (48:16):  That’s right. I love it. I’m going to borrow that question. By the way, what are you not, what’s the question? What are you, what

Kristen Boss (48:22):  Are you not, what are you not doing? I love that. That, you know, you could be doing every single time. It, it cuts straight through the fluff and we get right to the heart of it. Like, what are you not doing?

Mike Zeller (48:33):  That’s why you’re such a great coach Kristen. You got all these dynamic questions. I like them.

Kristen Boss (48:38):  That’s Cause you know what? I think we are the, I hope at least with good coaches, we are, we are the students of our own work. We are the students of what we teach. And it means like, I think a good coach, it means we’re constantly getting in our own head, asking ourselves the hard questions, asking ourselves like we, we ask the bigger questions and we put ourselves into the path of discomfort on purpose as often as possible. And for me, I’m like, I’m not sure I would want to work with anybody that hasn’t done something uncomfortable recently. Right. Yeah. I mean like so good I have on my friend and I, we have this joke. We’re like, I, you know why I never need to go skydiving because I get that feeling being out of my comfort zone all the damn time. I’m like, that’s right. I mean out of a plane, you know, bowl of shoot, I that horrible instant weightless feeling where your stomach goes into your throat. I feel that on a regular basis doing scary things for my future. Right?

Mike Zeller (49:39):  That’s right. What’s your next scary thing? I’m curious.

Kristen Boss (49:43):  There’s a lot. I’ll tell you after we’re done recording.We hold our cocoons close. I will tell you after the recording and now my audience is like, what is it going to be?

Mike Zeller (49:52):  I know it’s big guys. It’s real big. It was beautiful though.

Kristen Boss (49:58):  It is, it is. But I’m like, I’m going to keep that cocoon close. I will tell you guys are done recording. Okay. All my friends listening. Mike, it was so fun having you on the podcast. I don’t know why I waited so long, but this was just so great and I’ll link your book in the show notes

Mike Zeller (50:14):  You, you just waited until you got bigger. So I was like growing and growing. I don’t mind.

Kristen Boss (50:21):  I just waited until I had a lot of listeners to really just show my gratitude. Well Mike, thanks again for coming on the show. We’ll link your book Genius Within and a way if they want to get on your email list when you are launching the supplements or you, you, you always got something going on them

Mike Zeller (50:38):  Yeah, no doubt. Yeah, if you guys want, you can get a copy of the book for free geniuswithinbook.com. Just cover shipping and handling and it’s obviously at Amazon and other bookstores too. And then I’ve got a six steps of finding your Genius. you can I’ll post the link as well. I’ll give you a link that’s totally free of free pdf download as well. Such a pleasure.

Kristen Boss (51:02):  All right. Thank you so much, Mike.

Kristen Boss (51:09):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love dtoday’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy where I give you all the tools, training and support to help you realize your goals. In the academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or have been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern Network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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