Do you celebrate even when you miss your goal? If not, you’re missing out on an important piece of your success strategy. The art of celebration is more than simply celebrating when you achieve our big business goals. You can’t beat yourself up about missing a goal and expect to reach it the next time–no more than you can shame yourself into hitting your health and weight goals.
We all need a lesson in how to celebrate in our business. Celebrating before we hit our goals, after we hit our goals, and even when we don’t hit our goals.
- Why goal setting and planning for celebrating milestones creates a posture in you that helps you achieve your goals
- If you don’t celebrate your planned milestones, your brain believes no more money is coming
- If you hustle, it’s unlikely you’ve celebrated yourself in the past
- Why we need to celebrate before we accomplish our goal
- The #1 thought that keeps you from celebrating
- When we don’t celebrate and evaluate our big achievements, we’re less likely to repeat the results
- Why beating yourself up for missing your goal will never shift you into success
- How celebrating–even when we miss the goal–is a confidence booster
- Why we are scared to celebrate
- Kristen’s vision for the network marketing/direct sales industry in 2021
Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question
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Transcript of Episode #28: The Art of Celebration:
Kristen Boss (00:05):
Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling and authentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hey bosses, welcome to another episode, the final episode of this year, and this is going to be an interesting episode because I was really you
Kristen Boss (00:57):
Thinking about what I wanted to wrap up the year 2020 with the last becoming boss podcast episode of, of this year. It’s been a memorable year in good and bad, right? It’s just been a heavy year. There’s a lot been going on. And I really thought it would be important to talk about the posture of celebration. I’m even going to call it an art, because I think we celebrate some things really, really well in our culture. But I think celebration in business is sorely lacking and maybe you’re like no way. I’ve I’ve, you know by the gifts I do the things I have the posts. Give me a second here. Give me a second. Okay. But first real quick, before we dive into that, the three-day pop-up training group, sustainable success for social sellers is happening today. You can still grab your ticket in the show notes.
Kristen Boss (01:58):
It’s only $7 it’s training today. Tomorrow, Wednesday, three days of live training with me. You can still get your workbook and we’re going to leave the group open for you to catch the replays up until midnight on new year’s Eve. Right? We want you in there and I want you to have the right tools to get started the right way for 2021. So if you aren’t registered, be sure to go on the show notes, $7 and you get registered and I’ll see you in there. Okay? So let’s get to talking about celebration and I feel like celebration can’t happen when you are in a state of hustle or shame celebration is you having joy and gratitude for the things you’ve done. And I just want to ask you, do you have gratitude when you look at your year, are you thankful? Do you feel joy?
Kristen Boss (02:57):
Do you feel a sense of peace? Were you sitting there judging yourself? Are you sitting with regret? Are you sitting with shame? Are you wondering a beating yourself up say next time will be better. Next year will be better. I’m going to do it differently this time. That’s not the posture I want for you to have here. Even if you didn’t hit your goals, are you celebrating? You still showed up. Are you celebrating that you didn’t know quit on yourself during one of the hardest years when you had to balance e-learning and working from home and shut-ins and trying to navigate your emotions around the news and elections there’s there was a lot this year. So have you taken a moment to pause and just express gratitude to yourself for what you’ve done this year? If you haven’t done that, just pause this for a second, go get a piece of paper and write down one of my prouder of what can I be thankful for?
Kristen Boss (03:49):
This posture is so important because if you want to go into the new year, beating yourself up and shaming yourself for not getting what you wanted this year, you were literally setting yourself up for hustle. You’re setting yourself up to repeat the exact same narrative this time. Next year, I do something amazing. So I want you to write down how you want to think and feel and what you want to be. So sellable breeding this time next year. What do you want to look back on and say you accomplished? What do you want to say? We are grateful for. What do you want to say? You’re proud of think about where you want to be one year from now, picture it, make it very clear in your mind. I did this exercise earlier this year with my friend and one of my mentors. And I flew out to Nashville for a full day of strategy.
Kristen Boss (04:47):
And we mapped out my entire year. Every lunch, every product I would create, we mapped out revenue goals by quarter. This is really important for you guys to figure out, to map it out, make a plan. Instead of just, I have this big, I had a revenue goal for this year, but we didn’t just say, okay, great, yay revenue goal. We literally broke it down quarter by quarter, month by month. We talked about that. What I would need to create and the content I would want to talk about when I would launch my podcast and it was all there. And then here’s, I think the most beautiful part of that activity was what he had me do was we worked backwards in the year and he had me write down all the ways I was going to celebrate my milestones in my life business. And it, and it was fun and it was creative.
Kristen Boss (05:50):
It was fun, is exciting to look at that and plan that he’s like, okay, if you hit quarter one goal, what are you going to do? Am I playing? Was, was Disneyland. And thanks, Corona, that didn’t happen. You know, it was like, and then quarter two, what are you gonna do? Quarter three. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Quarter four. And it felt like, so it felt fun, but it felt a little, I don’t know, audacious to set those things and say, yeah, if I hit that, I’m totally going to reward myself with that. I’m totally gonna do that. But what’s amazing is I was ingraining the posture of celebration and how I would be proud of myself before I even reached the goal. That ingrained belief that you actually believe you’re going to hit the goal. I literally had things to look forward to as I was hitting my goals this year.
Kristen Boss (06:45):
And it’s so fun. Like I, I planned on he had me like sit down and picture my actual, like December 31st, what I would be thinking and feeling and doing. I pictured a really fabulous new year’s party if you guys have ever seen I think it’s overboard with Goldie Hawn and she has this like really fancy dream where it’s like this ridiculously fancy new year’s party and she’s wearing this like gold glittery dress and confetti’s like raining down and there’s champagne everywhere. That’s what I pictured. That’s not going to happen because 2020. So I’m like, okay, how do I want to celebrate this with my husband? And those things, it’s really important to plan for this. And so I’m, I plan on living up to that on some level, but I’m so thankful. He taught me the art of celebration before the accomplishment and why we can be proud of things.
Kristen Boss (07:42):
And, and that’s, if you are someone who hustles, it’s very unlikely that you’ve celebrated yourself. Well, because if you are hustling, if you were just addicted to the next goal, if you didn’t even give yourself a break or pause or spend the money that you earned on something that was might’ve felt indulgent for you, maybe it was a purse. Maybe you have this dream, Percy one, if you hit that financial goal and you didn’t buy it, what that tells me is your brain believes that no more money’s coming. Like you have to be tight with it. Oh no, save it quick. Huh? And doing things like paying off debt, we did that too. But I’m saying like how you handle your money when you are celebrating and when you’ve hit a milestone. And when you’ve hit a goal informs you about what your belief about that goal is.
Kristen Boss (08:38):
Let me give you an example. If you hit a big revenue goal, if you hit a big month end to goal and you get really tight and white knuckled with your money, you might want to explore what the thought is. That’s creating that because oftentimes a coach I’ll see people do that. And it’s because they believe that it was a stroke of luck. What if I don’t have that success this month better not do it. So they don’t celebrate. Which means they believe that their success was a fluke. When we don’t celebrate, we’re not acknowledging the work that was done when we don’t celebrate. We’re not evaluating the process that gave us those results. And when we don’t evaluate, it’s much harder to repeat it.
Kristen Boss (09:24):
If we treat it like it was some, some lucky incidents, some lucky stroke, then you’re going to, then you’re going to continue to feel powerless in your business. Because if you just got lucky with your success, you’re going to always discredit your success. Once you to notice that a lot of you are wrapping up the year and I don’t want you to choose the narrative I’ve I only hit that goal. Or I only did that because the company was offering a promotion. Or I only did that because it was, you know, maybe you’re in the oil community or whatever, like BOGO month. I only did it because, or even telling yourself I only hit that goal because it’s the end of the year. And a lot of people are focused on their weight loss. That’s the only reason I did it. So again, you’re making your success happen outside of you.
Kristen Boss (10:11):
It was like you just happened to be there at the right time. And whoops, here I am. I lucky me. But when you make that, the reason for why you were successful, it makes you feel powerless in creating future success. Because in your mind, you’re going to think, well, crap, how am I going to hit that goal? People it’s March 1st people. Aren’t wanting to do a lot of weight loss goals. Now I don’t know if my company is offering a promo or not. It’s not a big end of year push my teams. Like if you make that, the reason why you succeeded, it’s going to be a lot harder to recreate your success. Why reflection? Yeah. And evaluation and celebration are crucial to your future growth.
Kristen Boss (10:57):
If you’ve had a great year, please take a moment to sell it today. Take a moment with your family, with whoever supported you and thank them because it’s their celebration too. It belongs to them as well, invite them into it, show them appreciation. I’m going to tell you, there was a moment in my own year where something happened in regards to celebrate and I’m going to, I’m going to bring it back for you. I hit a massive massive month in my life business and it just blew our revenue goals out of water. It was amazing. It was celebrating. And I had this comment where I found my self fixating on the next goal and I wasn’t pausing to.
Kristen Boss (11:54):
And I, I ha I realized what was happening. I was like, oh, I’m not celebrating. I’m just, I’m just putting the next goal in place. And just barreling through this. I’m not pausing and looking at this amazing accomplishment and how this was once the impossible goal for me. And I didn’t acknowledge it. I just blew right by it. And I know people do this because they hit, they’ll hit ranks in their company. They’ll hit something and they’re just, boom, next goal. It’s the addiction. And they, they already have their nose to the ground grinding. They’re not really selling. They might do a one-time celebration dinner, but that’s it right back into the hustle. And I found myself doing that and I knew I really wanted to do something special for my husband because he he’s in this with me. It’s his, it’s his success as much as it is mine.
Kristen Boss (12:40):
I’m here because of, of him partnering with me and him cheering me on. Right? So acknowledging like your success belongs to others as well. And so I was thinking about celebrating the, wanting to do something really nice for my husband and got him a truck. And it was, it was very special to do that for him. You’ve been eyeing it for so long. And I remember having a lot of drama around celebration and feeling guilty, feeling bad, feeling anxious. I had a lot of negative feelings, which I wasn’t expecting. And I realized that celebration is a posture of vulnerability and Brene brown. She calls this foreboding joy when we want to celebrate, but we don’t allow ourselves to, because we’re afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel joy, to feel happiness, to feel excitement, that’s, that’s open. That’s exciting. Hope is a very vulnerable emotion, right?
Kristen Boss (13:37):
People are like, give me anything, but don’t give me hope because we’re afraid to be disappointed. So foreboding joy is fearing the vulnerability of open ourself up to big emotion and joy and gratitude and celebration because we’re afraid that of the other shoe that’s going to drop. We’re afraid of what, if something happens right behind this? What if, what if it’s all going to be taken away tomorrow? What if it all? Yeah. What if it all goes away? What if I never create this again? It’s almost like this, this fear is looming. Always fear and scarcity is always right next to celebration. And if you aren’t celebrating, then you’re hustling and you need to celebrate. You need to be proud of what you’ve created in the world. You need to be proud of how you’ve shown up because when you’re celebrating, that’s a confidence booster.
Kristen Boss (14:38):
It’s a, it’s a positive emotion and allows you to see what you’ve created in you. And you want to move forward. But if you’re beating yourself up yourself up for not hitting a goal, and you’re not actively looking for things to be grateful for and celebrate, then what you’re gonna do is beat yourself up and shame yourself into taking massive action that you’re not going to be able to keep up with because you’re using guilt to propel you in your business. You’re using shame and this negative self-talk to propel you in your business. And as a coach, I’ve served hundreds of people. I know no shame. It never leads to, to abundance. It never leads to longterm success, just like shaming and negative. Self-Talk yourself too. Your ideal weight doesn’t work either, right? The same thing in your business instead of celebrating, like, yeah, let me give an analogy to that.
Kristen Boss (15:38):
So not celebrating whatever milestone you’ve done is likely to undo your milestone. So for example, weight loss, let’s say you had a 10 pound weight loss goal and you lost two pounds and I’m telling you to celebrate the two pounds, but some of you are beating yourself up for the eight pounds left and you’re angry and you’re emotional. And what does that make you want to do? It makes you a discredit, the success that helped you lose the two pounds, but then it also makes you want to go on a carb bender and say, “F-it!”, I’m going to eat whatever I want. Doesn’t work. Anyways. I’m angry. We do that in our business. It’s like, I didn’t get where I wanted to go. I’m frustrated. I’m angry. Minus we’ll just quit. Screw it. Or we go the other way, like the two found weight, loss, shame, ourselves, and quit, or I’m going to take extreme measures to ensure my results.
Kristen Boss (16:39):
So I’m going to restrict starve not eat certain foods. I’m going to be mean to myself and force myself to the goal and I’ll get there, but I’m going to be miserable when I get there and I’m not going to have built any sustainable habits to keep myself there. It’s the same in your business. You can shame yourself for not hitting your goal and then hustle. You can enter that new year in a hustle. I’m going to message all these people. I’m going to tell my team, we’re going to do this really aggressive things. No Netflix, no self care, no rest. You might hit the goal, but then you’re going to be depleted your team’s going to be depleted. And you’re, we’re going to resent the experience of what it took to get to your goal.
Kristen Boss (17:22):
I would so much, you rather hit your goal and four months with your family, intact, being in a better emotional state in health, having rested than forcing the goal in two months and not being present for your kids, not being present with your spouse, being emotionally depleted, wanting to nap for six months and having a team that quit on you because they’re exhausted because of how hard they were pushed. Right? You guys know what I’m talking about. This is why I’m saying celebration is so important. Celebration is the ultimate posture of gratitude and being proud of yourself. So ask yourself, what do you want to be proud of for this, for this past year? And what do you want to be proud of next year? What do you want to be saying about yourself and your business this exact time next year? What sustainable habits and goals do you need to put in place?
Kristen Boss (18:16):
This is what we’re talking about in the pop-up a group group event right now. It’s all about the sustainable habits and systems and activities that don’t just give you a paycheck today, but give you wealth five, 10 years from now, but it’s going to take an attitude of someone who’s willing to celebrate for every inch gained. So will you celebrate your inches or are you going to beat yourself up for not hitting the mile? Will you pause and take a moment and just be so proud of yourself and everything you’ve created? Are you willing to experience the vulnerability of celebration and trusting yourself like this? Again, celebrations are really vulnerable posture because it’s open yourself up to feel positive emotion, knowing like, and your brain wants to tell you like, but it all could go away tomorrow. Don’t celebrate too much. The other shoe could drop.
Kristen Boss (19:16):
I found that in myself with the whole celebration. So I realized I owed it to the prior version of myself who would have been probably crying with joy, deep joy, and gratitude at that goal. And I realized I owed it to that to my past self, to pause deeply, celebrate, feel all the joy. And maybe some of you have not done that. You haven’t like celebrated what you’ve created because it wasn’t your inevitable going. It didn’t hit it in the timeline you thought you would. And you’re too busy shaming yourself. So that has got to stop no more.
Kristen Boss (20:02):
Be someone who celebrates be someone who applauds themselves. Think about your long-term vision for 2021. Think about who you want to be next year, how you want to show up. Don’t go crazy. Don’t let shame write that story. Let gratitude and abundance do it. Just want to take a quick second and say, thank you. Thank you for being in this audience. Thank you for being a listener. Thank you for checking in every Monday. Thank you for your reviews. Thank you for your comments. Thank you for sharing on Instagram and passing this onto your team. Thank you for being a part of a beautiful part of my 2020. Thank you for being a part of my audience. It is such a joy to serve you because I have this vision. I have this big vision for this industry. I have a vision that people, more people join this industry because they see it done with a heart of service. They see it done authentically. They love the type of people that do this business.
Kristen Boss (21:13):
The yuck becomes an old memory and people. When they hear about social selling and network marketing, they have nothing but positive things to say. I want to create that I was scrolling through my academy and I was looking at the members and I was looking at their profile pictures of their families. And I just felt deeply committed to every single person I saw in there thinking I want to help her pay her mortgage. I want to help them pay their mortgage. I want to help them pay all their groceries. I want to help them have that. And I felt so deeply attached to that vision. I want to help a thousand people in the year 2021. I want to help a thousand women feel more empowered and more authentic and less. Hustley more aligned, more joyful and have more profit than they could have possibly imagined and their social selling business. I want it to be approachable for any woman with a desire
Kristen Boss (22:06):
To serve no matter what the size of her audience, her age, her background, her ethnicity. It doesn’t matter. It’s a thousand women I’m ready to serve. So I hope it’s you next year, but I’m really thankful. I get to serve now. Have a happy new year. We’ll see next week, that wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done at different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals in the academy. You get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are a new in the business or been in the industry for a while. This is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.