One of our favorite things to talk about here on the podcast is the magic of consistency. Now – we’re not talking about the overnight success type of magic. Actually, quite the opposite. Consistency is the type of magic that happens when you least expect it. And while Kristen knows the difficulty that comes with staying consistent, she’s here to tell you one more time about how beneficial it can be to your business.
In this episode, Kristen is talking about the mindset of consistency and how certain thoughts can derail your success at every turn. But the good news is that once you’re able to recognize the thought patterns that are keeping you down, you’ll have an easier rise to the top.
Listen in as Kristen goes over these key topics:
- Why consistency breeds quality
- How consistency can help build trust with your audience
- The biggest lie we tell ourselves as entrepreneurs
- An explanation of the 80/20 and where your results come in
- Learning to be comfortable with delayed gratification
A lack of consistency is the number one reason why people fail to see results in their businesses. From building trust with your audience to building self-discipline, consistency is the foundation on which your business is built. The best part is that anyone can do it. All you have to do is get started and keep going.
Don’t miss out on the in-person social selling event of the year! Announcing the Rising Leader Summit, April 14-15, 2023, in Denver, CO. The LIVE EVENT that has historically been exclusive to 6-7 figure earners is now AVAILABLE to anyone who is hungry and willing and desires to step into higher levels of leadership. Go to kristenboss.com/rise to register today.
Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https:/Kristenboss.com/question
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If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com
Transcript for Episode #156: The Mindset of Consistency
Kristen Boss (00:19): You are listening to the Kristen Boss Podcast. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. As a bestselling author and performance coach, I’m on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both business and life. Each week I bring relevant topics that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose, significance and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so much more than growing your bottom line. It’s about who you are becoming in the process and building a life that is truly extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is really just the beginning.
Kristen Boss (00:57): Hey, bosses. Welcome to another episode of the show. This week I got something a little bit different for you, but before we get into it, I just want to remind you, the Rising Leader Summit is around the corner. Our V I P is sold out. We still have some in-person tickets available. You want to head to the link in the show notes. We also have virtual tickets available. Not only that, but the virtual tickets get you in live so you can be a part of the live streaming. We have a lot of amazing things planned for you if you can’t be there live. We also have a one year access to the recordings of the live event so that you can continue to access the materials and get the training. I have so much planned for you. I planned for this to be the most innovative forward thinking leadership training that you can get your hands on for this industry.
Kristen Boss (01:39): And if you are ready to uplevel your systems, your onboarding, your automation, improve your time management, improve how you speak to your team, lead your team, really feel refreshed for the year, you’re not going to want to miss this. It’s going to be huge. So head to the link in the show notes to grab your ticket. Okay. Today I’m grabbing a free training that I did, and I think you’re going to get a lot of value from it where I’m really challenging people on the way they think and how they’re viewing their progress so far in the year. So I know you’re going to get a ton of value from it. I hope you enjoy. Here’s what I want to offer you. The economy, the social science industry traditionally has grown during a down economy. Oftentimes, it’s not the economy that is preventing people from buying from you.
Kristen Boss (02:28): It is how you are often shifting your marketing or your thoughts about the economy that’s preventing you from showing up in a really powerful way that compels people to want to join you. Here’s what I want to offer you about, about mindset, and this is where we’re going today. So a lot of you are like consistency without a doubt is the number one reason why people don’t see results in their business and why they often don’t see the sales coming in, the business partners coming in, all those things. Your consistency is absolutely vital to seeing results in your social selling business. Period, end of story. But the reason why people aren’t consistent is often because they have so many stories getting in the way. Stories like nobody’s listening to me right now. It’s hard to reach people. No one wants to buy in a down economy.
Kristen Boss (03:18): I don’t feel like it today. Listen, your business is built on the, I don’t feel like it days. 80% of the time you’re not going to feel like it, and 80% of the time you’re going to have to learn to show up when you don’t feel like it. And your business is built in those times because maybe 20% of the time you’ll feel like it or be in the mood. But if you’re only showing up 20% of the time, meaning two out of every 10 days you’re showing up, you’re not creating enough consistency to actually generate results. And here’s the thing with your audience when they’re watching you, the fastest way to build trust with your audience is being there. Consistency, consistently, consistently. Consistency. Goodness, I can find my words to say. Say today. Consistency often trumps quality. And a lot of people you perfectionists, you get very caught up in quality.
Kristen Boss (04:12): And maybe you’re even hearing experts say quality is more important than quantity. Quality is more important than quantity. But how do you get good at quality if you aren’t first generating quantity? Think about practice. Practice is the volume of doing something over and over and over again, repetition. And then eventually you get better at it. So a lot of people get very caught up in this, I need to do quality work. And so then their perfectionism kicks in, then their editing opposed to death. Their questioning themselves saying, this isn’t enough value. This isn’t that. And then because they don’t think it’s quality enough, they talk themselves out of posting at all. And when they’re doing that, then they’re not being consistent. And when you aren’t being consistent, it’s a breach of trust with your audience and not a breach, not just a breach of trust with your audience.
Kristen Boss (04:57): Them thinking, well, I mean, she shows up sometimes and you guys, I see this. I see this all the time. I see someone like who’s all in their business for maybe a month, and then suddenly for six months to a year, I assume, oh, I guess they’re not with their business anymore. And suddenly they just pop up out of nowhere suddenly talking about their favorite product again. And I’m like, okay, are you in this business or are you not? And this is what your audience thinks too. Are you in this or are you not? And when they see you being inconsistent, that is a breach of trust for them. But not only that, let’s like park that for a second and talk about what that does to your audience. But let’s go back to what it actually does with your relationship with yourself. Every time you slow down and you aren’t consistent, I want you to see it as a breach of trust with yourself.
Kristen Boss (05:46): You are telling yourself every time you decide to stop, put a pause in your business. Every time you are telling yourself My what I say doesn’t matter what I want doesn’t matter. This isn’t actually a priority for me. Every single time, every time you say, I don’t feel like it today. No one’s listening today, I could try another time or do something different. You are telling yourself it’s not important to me. What stories do you think you are telling yourself with your actions lately? Your action is always reinforcing a story you’re holding. Always, always, always. So if you’re not posting, you’re not showing up, you’re not talking about the business. This tells me you likely have the belief. You have several stories. You’re telling yourself people don’t want it. It’s too expensive. People don’t find value in what I have to say. No one’s listening to me like you’re holding onto some story to justify your behaviors.
Kristen Boss (06:44): I’m not talking about the business because I believe what, that I’m not a good leader. I can’t help people have results. It’s harder to build a business right now. Why is it I want you to think about your actions and what story do you think you continually default to that gets in the way of you being consistent? I’d love to hear from some of you sharing the comments. What story do you think you continually default to that justifies your behaviors? Let me give you an example. Outside of business. Let’s say you are working on a weight loss journey, and maybe every time you see the little snack bowl you tell yourself a little won’t hurt. Maybe that’s your default story. And enough you say that 50 times a day, a little won’t hurt, a little won’t hurt, a little won’t hurt, but a little starts to become a lot.
Kristen Boss (07:41): I will do it tomorrow. I think our biggest lie is entrepreneurs as we tell ourselves tomorrow, it’s going to matter, but you’re going to feel, and we do that thinking that you’re going to feel different tomorrow. No, you’re going to feel like garbage tomorrow. There’s going to be a new problem tomorrow. There’s going to be a new excuse. There’s going to be a new reason. The same feelings you feel right now, you’re going to have tomorrow. But oftentimes we tell ourselves tomorrow, assuming we are going to have a different level of motivation or a different level of desire, and it’s never true. It is never true. No one wants to interact with me. Great here. We’ve got lots of stories here. I deserve a break. I have asked everyone. I don’t deserve to succeed. It’s so funny that I have asked everyone. It’s just like that’s physically impossible.
Kristen Boss (08:26): You haven’t asked everyone on the planet. I think you need to finish that sentence with, I have asked everyone that I feel comfortable asking. That is the truth of it. I don’t deserve to succeed. I would answer that thought. Why do I think I don’t deserve to succeed? It probably is going to lead to some other stories. Oftentimes there’s the story we tell ourselves and then there’s the supporting stories under it. Okay? People don’t want to host parties anymore. Heather, why do you think that? And likely you’re going to come up with evidence because remember, your brain has a story because it’s been collecting evidence to so that it believes that story to be true. Well, because my last five parties flopped, and then I would say, okay, how show you show up for those last parties? Did you prepare your hosts? Did you use a plug and play template and kind of show up like a robot? Did you engage meaningfully in the group? Did you make it sincere? Did you make it effective? Did you make it fun? What was your energy like in that? Or were you kind of like, Hey, come to the party. We’ll see what happens, right?
Kristen Boss (09:28): What’s another one? They’re bored with the same old stuff. Who again, at take your story and you got to learn to pick your own stories apart. Well, who’s that? Who’s bored with the same old stuff and why are they bored with it? Really oftentimes our thoughts about our audience is your thoughts. You have your projecting on them. So if you think they’re bored with this, really the truth is, I’m bored with this. I’m bored of the same old stuff. Do you think how often I say the same thing? If you follow me on Instagram, if you listen to my podcast, I say the same thing over and over and over and over again. I just put new spins on it or I come up with new stories, or I come up with what is more relevant, but it’s always the same and I’ve just learned to find better because I, I’m realizing I’m going to be saying about this forever and ever and ever and ever.
Kristen Boss (10:20): And someone’s going to finally hear it differently today. Think about fitness accounts. They’re going to say the same thing over and over and over again. Get your protein in drink, drink your water, go to the gym and exercise calories in versus calorie out. Nu nutrient dense foods. I’m also not a fitness person, so don’t come at me saying I’m giving wrong advice. I’m just saying like they’re going to say the same things over and over and over again knowing that someone new could be coming into your platform and hearing it for the first time from you. Right? Let’s see here. My business requires, let’s see here. So this is good. I like this one, Heather, you’re like a hundred asks from people and parties and only one booking. I would just say, okay, so you either need to get better at asking. You’re not selling the value of the party enough.
Kristen Boss (11:06): Because if someone was to come up to me and say, Hey, will you host a party? I’d say no. I would say straight up, no. But if they were to say, Hey, are you interested in working or in gidding a hundred dollars of free, of free X amount of product, and in doing this in exchange for me doing this, what’s the incentive? What’s the value for me to give up my time to give up other things going on in my life if I’m a consumer, your offering a party to me is competing with me, getting my kids to practices. And from me cooking dinner, me having my time at night and wanting to watch Netflix and reading the book, it has to be compelling enough for me. And your job is to sell me on why hosting a party is compelling enough for me to set down my Netflix, my me time, my books, my girls’ night out to do this instead, you, and you have to compel them as to why.
Kristen Boss (12:04): And I would say, okay, so one out of a hundred, this tells me you have a conversion rate of 1% with your asks, which means if you want three parties, you might have to do 300 asks. But chances are if you get better at selling, you’re going to get more yeses, right? Let’s see here, what else? What are other stories that you guys tell yourself? This is another one. I don’t know what to post. Oftentimes it’s not you don’t know what to post. You have so many filters on why you’re not posting. No one cares about this. This isn’t valuable. I don’t want people to judge me. I don’t want people to think I’m spammy. So when you have all these filters in place, you feel frozen. Like notice how you freeze up to write content because you’re so afraid of it can’t look like this.
Kristen Boss (12:47): It can’t look like this, it can’t look like this, it can’t look like this, and it can’t be like this, and it can’t feel like this. So how free do you feel to write a right content? But this is also why I tell people you need to know who you’re talking to and why. So here’s what I want to offer. You have stories. You obviously have stories that are getting in the way of you having productive behaviors and habits that builds a paycheck. You want period, end of story. It’s not that you don’t know you know what to do. You know what to do. This business is so simple. It’s so simple. But what makes it complex is you, is your thoughts, your stories, your mindset, period. I’m doing this thing inside the Social Salon Academy. We have, we’re doing power mornings and it’s 30 minutes guided power mornings with me where I’m literally on a zoom with my students for 30 minutes and I’m giving them prompts to get through their work activity.
Kristen Boss (13:41): And people are absolutely shocked that they’re getting through engagement, engaging and connecting with 10 new leads in less than 10 minutes. People are like this, it is never taking me this short of time ever. And that they’re writing a value-based post or a post about covering an objection to joining the business model in less than 15 minutes. People, their minds are blown. They’re like, I’m getting more down in a half hour than I usually do in hours on my own. And it’s because what I’m telling them is like, you have to learn to outrun your brain. You have to learn to outrun your thoughts because your brain’s going to say, I don’t know how to do that. I don’t know what to say. This is uncomfortable. This is yucky. I don’t want people to misunderstand this. And you have to actually learn to move through that resistance because your brain doesn’t want you experiencing any form of discomfort talking about your business, discomfort.
Kristen Boss (14:34): Your brain’s like don’t want to do that. That’s uncomfortable. That sounds scary, but your brain’s going to come up with every reason to keep you from doing the uncomfortable thing, right? I know this is going to come off as really tough love, but if you worked your other job today and you’re too tired, then just have that honest conversation with yourself and say, I’m too tired to work my business today, and therefore I’m like, I might lose trust with my audience. I might not do this, and I’m not going to complain about my paycheck not growing because I’m choosing to not work my business even when I feel tired. I can’t tell you how many times I feel tired and I don’t feel like doing it. I’m just going to tell you this right now. 80% of the time, you’re not going to feel like working your business 80% of the time, but 80% of your results come from that, from you doing the work during that time.
Kristen Boss (15:27): 80% of the time, you’re not going to feel like it. You’re going to be tired. You’re going to be not in the mood. You’re not going to feel inspired. You’re not going to feel motivated. You’re going to tell yourself, tomorrow’s another day. I’ll just do it tomorrow. But notice how many times you have told yourself tomorrow it’s going to count. Tomorrow. It’s going to matter. When your brain is used to like, Hey, every time we bring up like, Hey, tomorrow, let’s do it tomorrow. Instead, she buys it hook, line and sinker. She doesn’t work so great. Let’s just, every time she sits down to work, we’re going to tell her why tomorrow is a better idea. Why tomorrow? And we always think I’m going to feel more motivated tomorrow. No, you’re not. In fact, here’s what I’m going to offer you, and I know this is crazy.
Kristen Boss (16:06): Scientific studies proof that you have higher willpower in the morning and it actually starts to diffuse throughout the day, and your willpower is actually the least and the lowest at night. So if you were somebody that’s like, Hey, I work a nine to five and then I come home and I’m exhausted, your willpower is already depleted. You’ve already worked a full day of work. I would just ask you, how important is your dream where you are willing to wake up earlier? Listen, I am not a natural morning person. I’m always going to say, not going to. I said for years, I’m not going to wake up in the morning. I don’t have to wake up in the morning. I’m not a morning person. It was just an identity I kept on myself. I was like, I’m not a morning person. I’m not a morning person until I decided what if I’m willing to become a morning person so I can get more done earlier?
Kristen Boss (16:57): And sure enough, once I decided that I was going to work on that, I committed to being that person. So I want to offer you that willpower doesn’t work. Willpower doesn’t work. We think we need to mentally force our way into doing the action. And some days that works. But oftentimes what always is going to work is desire, an internal desire of wanting to choose the work. Why do you choose this work? And if you’re looking for like, oh, because I want money, well, that’s great, but that’s a long-term result. What’s short-term? Why? What’s your reason today? Why does today matter? Why is today important for you? Why is it important to not believe your BS story today? And for you to dig in and say, today matters, and I’m going to do this work Because why? Because chances are you making that post, making those connections might not result in the sale today.
Kristen Boss (17:57): But if you’re telling yourself, I’m only going to do this if I get a sale, good luck. Because then you’re going to be like, why did I work today? I didn’t get a customer, didn’t get a builder. Instead of seeing like, hold on. The long-term effect is me gaining sales. What is the reason for today? What is your why today? This is the desire. I’m talking about creating an insatiable desire and hunger for your long-term goals. Okay? This is really important to me. And then creating a strong desire for why is the work important for me to do today? Because I want to build my relationship with myself because I want to build self-trust because I want to become somebody who says I’m going to do something, and I actually follow through because the feeling of accomplishment is important to me today. Not just the feeling of winning.
Kristen Boss (18:40): Because by the way, that is cheap dopamine. If you have conditioned your brain to only work for when you see an immediate financial return for your work, go get a nine to five because that’s how nine to fives work. It’s like, Hey, you put in X amount of hours, here’s X amount of dollars, but you’re not in a nine to five. So you have to divorce that mentality right now. You actually need to realize, I am an entrepreneur, which means not every hour I work equates to a dollar amount, which means you have to dig and find better reasons to work instead of an instant gratification. But by the way, your brain is wired to have instant gratification because you were wired to live off a dopamine. You were wired for just dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine. And you work in your business, by the way, isn’t a dopamine producing activity, it’s just not, because it’s all about long-term gratification.
Kristen Boss (19:32): So you showing up, making a vulnerable post, making an ask, connecting and commenting with people, making that real, making yourself visible, asking somebody if they want to host a party, none of that is comfortable and none of that gives you an instant dopamine hit. It’s not guaranteed. Sometimes maybe you’ll have someone respond and say, yes, I’m totally interested today. You might not. So what are you generating dopamine from? What are you generating a good feeling from? I’m going to call it like the sero, the serotonin. What are you? Where are you getting that feeling from? And I hope it’s from the feeling of accomplishment at the end of the day saying, I feel really good that I showed up today when I didn’t feel like it, when I was tired, when I had a sick kid, when I had other things that were competing for my priorities, and I did the thing I said I was going to do.
Kristen Boss (20:22): That feels incredibly empowering to me. How many can you really focus on that feeling and say, this is why it’s important to me. Maybe I’ve been chasing cheap dopamine and I haven’t learned to become somebody who gets behind long-term gratification, delayed gratification, that the work I see today, I’m probably not going to, the only gratification I will get today will be that I honored my word to myself and I took myself seriously. That’s the gratification I get. But most people, that’s not enough for them. And because they’re not making money right now, they’re like, nah, forget it. Why does it matter? And that’s also why you say, tomorrow, I can do it tomorrow. Because you don’t see an instant return for your work. So you’re like, it’s fine. I can wait tomorrow. But every day you say no, is a day compounded against you every day you say, tomorrow is another mark against you.
Kristen Boss (21:15): It’s another like your decisions are always casting a vote into a belief system. Yes, I work today. That’s casting a vote into, I believe that my work is eventually going to yield a positive return, even if I don’t get it today. But if you vote tomorrow, I’ll show up tomorrow or another time, or when it’s easier when I’m tired. Now you are voting for the belief that the work I do today doesn’t actually matter, right? You have to learn to become that person. So here’s what I want to offer you today. I want you to sit with why is it important for me? You need to come up with your own reasons. Why is it important for me to become somebody who follows through daily? Why is that important to me? And don’t you dare put the paycheck because you might not see that right away.
Kristen Boss (22:10): I want you to know why is it important to me today, even if I don’t see a change in my paycheck immediately? Why is this important to me? So for me, if you don’t know my story, I have a large company now. We have 5,000 students in my program, and when I started, I started, I had to be willing to do the work to acquire one student and celebrate that even when I knew I wanted a program with tens of thousands of students. So I’m like, okay, who do I need to be to attract one? And I learned to celebrate the hell out of getting one. But for me, it was a year, you guys, a year on social media of me talking about mindset, personal development, habits, disciplines with almost no engagement. Seemed like nobody cared. And so if I’m not getting customers and getting my 10,000 students, then what was compelling me to show up every single day for a year while my engagement was in the crapper on Instagram, it was like nobody cared, is because I saw the vision of where I was going.
Kristen Boss (23:14): I was like, it matters more to me who I’m becoming in this process. It matters to me that I follow through on what I say, I’m going to follow through. And you know what? It made me a great teacher because now when my students are like Kristen, but what if I’m not seeing results right away, I’m going to be, I can deeply empathize with them and say, I know exactly what that’s like, and here’s the reasons why you have to keep going, right? The struggle is what made me qualified. I want you to think of this. Some of you think the struggle disqualifies you from helping people, but I’m going to say it’s the exact opposite. The struggle is actually what qualifies you to help people. I want to learn from somebody who has struggled and overcome than somebody who has never struggled. How could they understand or empathize with me? But I want you to think of my struggle today matters because it’s deeply shaping who I’m going to be in the future and who I’m going to help
Kristen Boss (24:06): Think about that. But most people, they’re too busy judging themselves for struggling, thinking something’s wrong with me. I need to do things differently. Something must be wrong with me that I’m struggling this way. I see so many people sit with that story, and you do not need to sit with that story. You’re struggling, makes you human, you’re struggling, makes you normal. You’re struggling, is what qualifies you to help other people in the future who are also struggling. So again, sit with today, what is important to me? Why is it important that I become somebody who’s consistent? Why is that and what is that going to be today? We’ll catch you guys in the next episode. That’s a wrap for today’s episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review. This helps the show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot of today’s episode and shout us out on Instagram. We’ll shout you right back out. If you’d like to find additional resources or discover how to work with me, head to kristenboss.com.
