What Actually Creates Results Ep #14

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Kristen’s back this week with more fiery inspiration! She’s spilling what she says ACTUALLY creates your results in your social selling business. It’s not what you may think!

Kristen’s back this week with more fiery inspiration! She’s spilling what she says ACTUALLY creates your results in your social selling business. It’s not what you may think! She’s covering:

  • The faulty thoughts that create self-sabotage
  • Why motivation does NOT create results
  • Why the secret to your success is not in the next freebie or opt-in you’ve grabbed
  • How your feelings are not your thoughts 
  • Why you need to stop going on a ‘How Hunt’ and what to do instead
  • How the thought, “getting it right” keeps you stuck

And so much more! 

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com
Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

Transcript for Episode #14: What Actually Creates Results

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hello, Hello! Welcome back to another week. You guys, it has been a crazy fun past week for me. I just dropped a huge announcement in my Facebook group.

Kristen Boss (01:01):  In my free one earlier this week, I dropped a massive webinar. I did a huge training and the standard I had set for myself was I’m going to over-deliver I’m going to give more than I think they need. And I felt so aligned. It was so joyful for me, over 400 people registered to be on that webinar. And it was just a phenomenal experience. I loved it. If you were in the group, you probably saw that I actually announced a brand new program. It’s a brand new coaching program every week. My inbox is filled with people who are asking when’s your next group coaching. If I’m not ready yet for your one-on-one. When can I get in? I have a wait list for my one-on-one right now. So people are always looking for ways to work with me. And I’ve been secretly been developing something pretty exciting in the background.

Kristen Boss (01:59):  I had a course that released in the spring called the Purposeful Platform, and I created it as a toolbox for the entrepreneur. For the network marketer and social seller, who is looking to organically make sales in the online space, through authentic marketing, positioning, a strong brand, how to write content. I put it all together and it’s amazing. It is a phenomenal resource, but I was noticing people were having questions. I was getting messages, whoa, what is this? Okay. So if I do this, how do I go from here? People were implementing, but they were having more questions. And I realized this isn’t just a do it yourself and bootstrap. I mean you can, but I realized that people needed coaching. And I’m going to actually talk about that in this episode. Not necessarily about coaching, but what actually creates your results. And this episode is going, be really interesting for my, for my goal getters and my hashtag do all the things, people that listen, I created this community because I wanted to be able to coach people exactly where they were at no matter what season of business that they were in to coach them through the roadblocks that would inevitably come up as they were applying the materials.

Kristen Boss (03:22):  This is what happens. This is part of growth. You make progress in your business. You get to the next stage and you have new questions. There’s this joke. It’s like new level new devil. So this coaching community that I launched, it’s called the social selling academy. And it has all of my modules, all of my programs in there. But what is my favorite part? This is the part that you’re actually getting. This is what sets it apart from every other program out there. And I am going to say that with boldness, it is different than every other program out there for network marketers and social sellers. It is live weekly coaching with me. You get to ask the questions and not only that, you get to use the community, you get to post in there. You get to use hashtag ask the coach and get answers for your burning questions so that you can continually make progress. I love that is a lifetime pay once you’re in program, that’s it. It’s not this membership. That’s ongoing. It’s not for you to pay monthly like some Hulu or Netflix. No, this is your business. This is where your hobby comes to die.

Kristen Boss (04:27):  Just you deciding this for yourself, changes things about what you, how you view your business and the proclamation and the declaration you’re making about your business. I only wanted committed people in my program. I didn’t want people who wanted to spend $20 and kind of drop in looky, loo and bail out of there. No, I want, I wanted it to be a program filled with social sellers who were committed to the longterm game, which is why it’s a lifetime program. I want people in there that are ready to grow this immediate season season of their business in the first 30 days. And I want them to utilize it three years from now, when they’re in a completely different season, I want that community to always be available no matter what season of growth you’re in. So if you are, if you’ve been chomping at the bit, because quite a few of you messaged me and you want to know what’s next, where do I go?

Kristen Boss (05:18):  My free group is actually closing at the end of September. It has been a wild and beautiful ride. And actually I’m going to do a podcast episode on how I grew that group because I grew that group the same way I grew my business the same way I grew my social media following. I grew that group from the place of authentic serving and selling. That group was proof. And I had such a blast serving in there, but I knew it was time based on the demand of how many people were needing coaching. I knew it was time to create a program that I could serve as many people as possible at a greater capacity. So that’s where my that’s where my energy is going to be going. I am so excited. I’ve had amazing women join the program this week. And just the first call was phenomenal.

Kristen Boss (06:05):  It was so amazing to see these women have massive. I’m talking massive aha moments in their first week, breakthrough thoughts in their first week. That’s available for you. So if you’re, if you’ve been listening, if you’ve been tuning in every week and maybe you just found me and you’ve been binge listening and you’re like, I am ready for my hobby to die. I’m ready to learn how to do social selling from a place of service and attraction marketing and adding value to others and never feeling like a spammy gross sales person. This is the place for you. You can check it out and put the link in the show notes. It’s the social selling academy.com. Check it out. We’re ready for you. You can join anytime. I’m not doing the doors are open. Doors are closing. I’m actually not creating urgency around my needs in this program.

Kristen Boss (06:56):  This is about you having urgency for yourself. This is about you feeling urgent about creating results for maybe the first time in a long time or urgency to finally change the narrative or the story you’ve been telling yourself for a long time when it comes to making an investment about your business. So if that resonates with you, I’m inviting you. There’s a place for you in there. There is transformation waiting for you. There’s rapid growth waiting for you so you can check it out in the show notes. That’s the big announcement I’m so thrilled. I’m also going to link the webinar. I’m also going to make the replay to the webinar in this show notes as well. So you can just check it out. It’s fantastic value. It’s called the attraction formula, the secret attraction formula. And I give you all the goods on how to grow your online, social selling business.

Kristen Boss (07:44): I’m giving it all away so you can check out the webinar. I’m going to link that in the show notes as well. It is for you friend. Okay? That’s housekeeping. Now let’s get to the juice. What actually creates results and your ears probably perked up if you’re in Enneagram three or an Enneagram eight or seven. You’re like, give it to me, give it to me, give it to me. And this episode might make you a little uncomfortable, but it’s also going to be extremely freeing for you. Okay? So I’m going to start with what you think and what I hear my students tell me all the time, what you think gets you results. These are the things I hear. The number of followers, how big your social influence is like how many friends you have on Facebook, how many followers you have on Instagram, how many people you have on your email list. People get very caught up in metrics with this business.

Kristen Boss (08:47):  How much, how high your engagement is, how big your actual audience or your following is another one I hear all the time is your knowledge, how much, you know, just getting all the right things in order so that you can move forward. You just need to know a little bit more, gather a little bit more research. How long have you been telling yourself this? And you know, this is you. If you listen to the, to the episode about sneaky types of self sabotage, you know, I might’ve called you out there because that’s what you think creates results. If you’re constantly looking for a, maybe this podcast episode is going to tell me the secret. It’s like, you’re on this treasure hunt for finding the thing. Maybe that online course, maybe that book, I know this because I think I clicked every funnel in the book online when it came to taking action in my business, I mean, I was hooked every time someone would say, do you want to do this?

Kristen Boss (09:56):  And I was like, yes, I do. And I would click it. I’d buy like the $8 freebie, the $10 secret. And that’d be in the exact same spot. Three months later, 90 days later, six months later, one year later, it was like, I couldn’t help myself. I just wanted to keep looking. Another one I hear is like, everyone seems to think motivation how motivated you are and you might disagree, or you might think, no, I don’t think it’s motivation, but I think you believe you need motivation to do the things that create results. I hear everybody say, I just need to get motivated or I need to stay motivated. Or if I could just be motivated long enough, or if I could just find the motivation, motivation is like a little unicorn. Everybody seems to be looking for it. Nobody’s finding it. Or if it’s it’s fleeting, it doesn’t seem to last.

Kristen Boss (10:56):  We know this, you know this. You’ve been doing this long enough to know you’ll be really motivated. Maybe just got back from a convention. A lot of people in my audience were at conventions over the past couple of weekends. And you’re so motivated. You’ve refound your why you have your vision board out again. Nothing’s stopping you. You are so motivated. I’m going to message everybody. I’m going to go to every team call. I’m going to go to everything. And you’re just like super hyper motivated. How many times have you been here? How many times have you come from an event on an emotional high? I talk about this in episode one, how we can’t depend on motivation to create results, but so many of you do. And what happens is because you believe you need motivation on the days, you don’t have motivation. You genuinely feel that you can’t go out, do things that create results.

Kristen Boss (11:55):  And after this episode, I promise you, you’re going to realize you have far more power than you think in actually has nothing to do with finding motivation, keeping motivation, right? You’re probably like what you’re going to have to prove me different. Because the only time I, I actually have created results for myself, Kristen is when I’m motivated. Hm. I’m going to challenge you. And when I unpack it, you’re going to be like, excuse me. This is blowing my mind. I did this with one of my clients over the week. I sat down with her and I looked her straight in the eye through the zoom. And I was like, you do realize that your actions do not create results. And she’s, she’s a fellow Enneagram three, just like me and her jaw was on the ground. And she’s like, shut up. Don’t lie to me.

Kristen Boss (12:44):  I’m like, no serious. And I’m going to prove it to you. And maybe you’ve here. You’ve heard me teach a lot of things on this podcast. And maybe you’re like Kristen, but you’ve, you’ve told me things. I want you to go back, look it up, busload seven. That’s a hint. That is a hint for where we’re going today. So many of you think it’s, it’s your actions, but not just your actions, but quote the right actions. And I know this because I hear so many of my clients and students completely hung up on, I just got to do the right things or I need to do this really, really well. I need to do it right. Doing it really well and doing it right is what creates results for me.

Kristen Boss (13:31):  How many of you, when you say to yourself, I just need to do it really well in order to get the intended result. I desire. I want you to think about that. How does that, when you say that, how does that feel in your body? I just need to do this really, really well to get that result. I don’t know about you, but all of a sudden, I feel very tight in my body. It feels very constricted. I start to feel anxious. I start to question things because all of a sudden there’s pressure that I need to do this really well. I need to do it right in order to get results. And here’s where I see everyone gets stuck. Who determines what’s right? How do you know when it’s right? What if you have finally decided I’ve done it really well, and then it doesn’t yield the results you desire.

Kristen Boss (14:26):  Then what? Then you go back into self doubt and spiraling and thinking, I must not have done it. Right. I have to do it right to create the result. There’s a lot of pressure, so much pressure. And all of a sudden, your perfectionism kicks into high gear and you get into over analysis. You start to second, guess everything. You are your content so much where you don’t post anything for days. And when you finally do post something, it’s from a place of exhaustion. And like, oh, I just got to do it fine. And just kind of throw it up there like spaghetti, or you just keep buffering. You go and do your laundry. You go and do meal prep where you go listen to a podcast because that makes you feel like you’re, you’re busy, still working on your business, where you start scrolling on social media. Are you feeling a little called out right now? I know this because this is what I coach on.

Kristen Boss (15:31):  Yes. I give my clients tools and strategy. But if we do not fix the thought, we’re not getting anywhere. And some of you think your results are determined by your circumstances or your lack of results is determined by your circumstances. And I want you to hear this in love. It’s going to sound a little harsh, but your circumstances have nothing to do with your results. And that is you choosing to believe that your circumstances are a valid reason to not have results. It feels very true in your body. That that circumstance is totally reasonable and logical for you right now. Of course, I can’t build my business right now. I’m in the middle of a move. I can’t do this. My whole state’s on fire. I’m on evacuation. Notice I’m sick. My kids are sick.

Kristen Boss (16:35):  You think all these things need to be in order to create results that your life needs to be at peace. Well, when does that ever happen? Think about that. Go back and listen to my resistance and resilience episode or my personal story where everything kept going wrong. I mean, as 2020, not a lesson to all of us. It’s just like, there’s like a surprise of the month club with 2020. September, it’s hurricane Sally surprise and fires. Surprise. I mean, like, I want to tap out of October and be like, can I just check back in and January? But some of you really believe your circumstances directly impact your results. Yes, only if you allow it. Only if you’re in agreement that the circumstances are a good reason for you to not take action and show up in your business.

Kristen Boss (17:31):  I’m going to give you an example. I was coaching a client of mine and she was in the middle of she had this launch and a goal in mind and how many people she wanted to bring into her business, how many people she wanted to onboard. And she was really hung upon. Yeah, but I’m about the timing I have to move again. I just moved. I’ve got a newborn, I’ve got a toddler that’s losing their mind. And her newborn, like literally was four weeks old when she was telling me this. And as a coach, I have deep empathy for that. I understand that. And she said, you know, I feel like, I feel like now it’s just not the time. And I said, okay, well, what if you weren’t moving? And what if you, the newborn was sleeping. Let’s just remove those circumstances for a minute. And let’s talk about what you would need to do. What would be required of you to still do this launch and still do this business?

Kristen Boss (18:30):  And she realized it would require doing a lot of showing up on social media, going live, talking about the offer, making offers, connecting with people. And I said, well, how does that feel to you? And she’s like, feels really hard. I was like, Hm. Even without like, even if you’re not moving, even without a top, like a toddler having tantrums, even without a newborn, she’s like, yeah. I was like, Hmm. So what you’re telling me is you’d be feeling exactly the same about your business with or without the circumstances. And we coached pretty hard on this. It wasn’t this quick. And it was, it was, it was with a lot of empathy, but I w I was sitting with her and really challenging her thoughts. And she realized, and she said it herself. I now see I’m using all of these things as an excuse, because I’m afraid to do the hard things that make me deeply uncomfortable, but she didn’t realize that because in her mind, she really felt that moving and toddler and newborn was very reasonable and logical.

Kristen Boss (19:39):  She even had family members and friends being like, of course, you can’t do anything. Of course, it’s so hard. And as a coach, I’m like, but is it okay? Or would you still be feeling all these things even without the circumstance? And she realized I would still be feeling all these things even without the circumstance. And you want to know what was so powerful for her was when I asked her, okay, how will you feel about yourself after this move three, four weeks from now? And you will have taken 30 minutes a day to work on your business. How will you feel about yourself? And she, her face lit up. She was like, so proud of me. I was like, wow, how does that feel to you? She’s like, I love it. I was like, and how do you feel delaying all this? And then revisiting it, like, I’m giving you, like, it’s ultimately your decision.

Kristen Boss (20:36):  It’s totally your decision. But how do you feel at the end of this? If you didn’t do anything and you just waited until you moved, waited, your newborn was a little calmer and your toddler was maybe a little bit better. Now, how do you feel about launching your business? And she said you want you to set? You said worse because now I’ve put it off. And now I feel more dread around doing the things I was having resistance to. Anyways, this is why a lot of you think your circumstances create your results or lack of circumstances. You don’t understand.

Kristen Boss (21:15):  I’m, I don’t have good, good wifi. I work full time. We don’t have the money, my credit card. They’re maxed out. If you haven’t listened to the last episode with Alyssa hall, you need to go listen to her episode, single black mom in the Bronx, not making excuses for her. Go listen to it. She, I was not looking at her circumstance, any of her circumstances to say those create my results. And maybe you’re feeling deeply uncomfortable while I’m talking about this. But also know you’re hearing this from somebody who also had really hard circumstances. When I was also growing my business really hard circumstances, go listen to episode, whatever it is about my personal story on resistance, go listen, and just know that this is coming from a deep, deep place of empathy, but you’ve got to stop thinking your circumstances have anything to do with your results. It’s your thoughts about the circumstances? So if those things don’t create results, if the number of followers you have, how many friends on Facebook, you have your insights on your Instagram. When you go in the back and see how many people have viewed your story, because some of you really believe that creates a result, your knowledge, how much, you know, how motivated you are taking the right action and doing the right thing and your circumstances.

Kristen Boss (22:46):  How many of you, if- if that creates results, how many of you just had that? The thought, well, that feels pretty hard. If I have to have a big following, I have to do the right thing. I have to always stay motivated. I have to do the things and my circumstances have to be right. No one would be building businesses. If that’s what created results. Can I get an amen in here? I’m getting so fiery. I’m like pounding my desk. No one would be building businesses. If that was the formula. Absolutely nobody.

Kristen Boss (23:20):  So what actually creates your results? I was hinting at this earlier. Every action or non-action we take comes from a feeling generated in your body, every action or non-action we take comes from a feeling generated in our body. And yes, motivation is a feeling, but you cannot run on just feelings. I believe. I believe that a lot of times we will try to manufacture feelings to create a result case in point. Totally not. Business-Related. I remember trying to manufacture feelings for guys that I shouldn’t have feelings for. I remember feeling like I shouldn’t be in this relationship does it’s not a good relationship. And I remember sitting there trying to manufacture few feelings of love for the person and that doesn’t last, our body always knows what’s true. Always our body consents. When we’re trying to tell somebody that’s not true, we’re trying to believe something.

Kristen Boss (24:32):  That’s not true. You always feel it every time your body starts to feel, it feels uncomfortable around, around an untruth. Like you can try and say, I believe in myself today, I had a client where I was like, okay, what’s a thought you want to have about this. She’s like that. I can do it. I was like, that sounds fufu. Do you actually feel good in your body? When you say that? She’s like, ah, like, do you feel good? She’s like, I don’t know if I believe it. It was like, okay, then that, that doesn’t work.

Kristen Boss (25:05):  Your body knows when you’ve hit the truth. Your body is always operating based on a thought. Your feelings are not thoughts. Why want you to think about that? Maybe you, I’ve been walking around saying I’m anxious. I’m just so anxious about everything. I’m anxious about everything. Well, anxious is a feeling and that feeling of anxiousness comes from a thought of, I don’t have control here. I don’t know what to expect here. And if I can’t control it, everything’s going to go wrong. That’s a thought that creates anxiousness in your body. So all feelings and some feelings here’s, what’s, here’s what’s really powerful. Some feelings feel like facts. We don’t realize that they are. We don’t realize that they’re coming from a thought that we’re choosing pain or non-choosing, not choosing. Oftentimes, you know, we have like 60,000 thoughts a day, 90% of them, or repeat, and about the same amount, our negative thoughts, like that’s how our brains are. Our brains are inherently programmed. So our brains are always thinking garbage thoughts. The question is, is, are you good at catching the garbage thought and realizing the garbage thought? Or have you been listening to the same garbage that for so long that you actually believe it’s true.

Kristen Boss (26:44):  Feelings are always a product of a thought you have. And it’s hard to know that cause listen because we think thoughts are facts. Your thoughts are not facts. They are optional. The thought you have around a circumstance is not a fact. It is your opinion. It is your perspective on the matter. Think about that. If thoughts are not facts, then neither are your feelings wall. Like I was saying earlier, you cannot generate a false feeling. Why? Because feelings are always a reflection of thought. So if you don’t fix the thought, you cannot fix the feeling.

Kristen Boss (27:39):  So when people are always hunting for motivation, that’s not going to work. That’s a manufactured feeling they’re trying to bring up on their own. What actually creates motivation is a thought. You have a thought that feels true in your body. That creates feelings of excitement and confidence. And we translate that or define that as, oh, this is motivation. And so oftentimes we think motivation is a feeling we walk around and be like, I just need to get motivated me to get motivated. No, no. You need to find the thought that feels true in your body. That creates a feeling of motivation.

Kristen Boss (28:25):  It needs to create a feeling. So it’s, it’s so funny. I just see people always on this hunt for the next thing, or I need to go and find the magic bullet or actions and all that. Right? You cannot. So remember how earlier I was saying that you believe motivation works because it’s created results for you in the past. Okay? The only reason you believe motivation has created your result is that from motivation, you took a certain action, and that action creative results, the result. But what you didn’t think about what you haven’t found or learned is that you could not get motivated without the thought. So most people just go around trying to find the motivation instead of finding the thought that created the motivation, to begin with motivation. Doesn’t last because manufactured feelings don’t last. But if you find the thought, you can create motivation whenever you want.

Kristen Boss (29:37):  How amazing is that? You can create motivation whenever you want thoughts, create your results, because your thoughts create feelings in your body. And from those feelings, you take action or non-action. And from those actions, you get the yielded result, but you could not take those actions without the thoughts and feelings that created those actions. This is why, when you’re looking for the strategy when you’re signing up for the course, you’re listening to the podcast and you’re doing the book. You keep looking for the action without first fixing the thought that generates the feelings that lead to the action. You have to stop looking for the magic bullet. You got to start looking for the magic thought. If you want to know a few of them, you need to go to my success. Thoughts episode. Apparently, it’s like a flashback throwback day. Cause I’m throwing you back to all a lot of episodes in the past.

Kristen Boss (30:41):  So if it’s not doing the right strategy or the doing the exact right thing or doing it really, really well, it’s taking action from the right thought. I know this because I’ve had clients stuck in funnels and ads and metrics, and I’ve had to pull them out at one client that was so stuck on creating these, these huge lead magnets, and these big campaigns. It was so big. And I kept saying scale back, scale it back. It’s more simple. It’s more simple. It starts here. And it felt so intuitive to her. She had a marketing background, so she was very into marketing mindset, taking actions. And there they weren’t bad actions, but the thoughts and the feelings needed to be there. And when we shifted a couple of those things, she started getting results. And not from the fancy funnels, not from all the magic bullets, you have to stop looking for the right magic strategy and start looking for the thoughts within you and identifying them.

Kristen Boss (32:00):  I’m going to tell you a couple of stories in case you’re like, I don’t see how this works out. If it feels confusing. And here’s the thing, this is the coaching you get inside of my social selling academy. This is what we unpack. You come to the call and you talk about the things you’re doing, why you’re not getting results. And I help you find the thoughts that are subconsciously trashing your results. I help you find the thoughts that are getting in the way of where you want to be. That’s the power of coaching instead of just teaching and me talking at you, it’s me understanding your thought process and helping you see your own thought process and realizing, oh, I didn’t even realize I had that thought. And because I didn’t know, I had that thought. I didn’t realize it was creating all these feelings and generating these actions and creating these types of results for myself. Good or bad.

Kristen Boss (33:00):  So here’s a good example. I had a client who is doing a big, big launch and she had the intention of signing 20 people to her lunch. And it was going really well. She was doing the things and about, I want to say it was about five days away from the launch closing. And she was at nine people. She had signed nine spots and had 11 left. And as she was talking to me, she was telling me, okay, I think I’m going to be pretty good with 11 or 12. And I said, why?

Kristen Boss (33:35):  And we kind of dug into it. And she, she didn’t really believe in the possibility that there could be 11 more. And so, because she didn’t believe it was possible. Her action started to be a little more constrained. She was fine. She was, but she was negotiating with herself. Like, it’s fine. Like, Eleven’s good. It’s good. And she was starting to let go of her intention for 20. And so we coached on some thoughts, helped her identify the magic thought, the thought that was gonna help her hold her intention. And when we found that thought, I asked her, okay, now what is your actions now between now and six days from now to hold the intention for 20 people not be attached emotionally attached to the outcome, but holding the intention and just being thankful for whatever happens. But you’re going to hold the intention and, and take actions to align with that intention.

Kristen Boss (34:35):  And she had great ideas. She said, okay, I’m going to, I’m going to do this. We’re going to speak to objections. She had all of a sudden because her brain realized this is possible. She had all of these solutions that she wasn’t going to do when she was settling for 11 or 12. And she implemented all of them. She did it. And sure enough, the morning after her launch closed, she signed all 20 people. She even said one signed like right before midnight that night. And she wasn’t chasing people. She wasn’t needy at all because that’s not what I teach. She just showed up really consistently in her emails and her Facebook going live, adding value to her group, adding value to others, constantly believing people are going to say yes. And that is exactly what happened, but I want you to notice that I didn’t tell her.

Kristen Boss (35:32):  Okay, but the goal is 20. What are you going to do? I first helped her figure the thought she needed in order to hold the intention for, yes, I’m going to continue to work and do the things as if it’s for 20 people. So first she secured the thought and then the, how presented itself to her. A lot of youth sometimes are on this hunt for the, how you’re on a, how hunt. I just need to go find the how of how I’m going to get this result. And you’re exhausting yourself because you keep looking for the right house and the how presents itself to you when you stop looking for it. And you have intentional thoughts about holding your goal or your intention.

Kristen Boss (36:23):  It’s like the more we try, it’s the, how is very, it’s a very, when we’re hunting for it, it’s very graspy. It’s meaty. Stop looking for the how and sit with, okay, what would my commitment look like if I believed anything was possible and I could hold this intention, what would that look like? Don’t look for the, how, before you found the thought same, same story with the other client who was, who was in the funnel. She was so fixated in her house. I’m going to launch this, have this, do all these things, make it really complex in her mind. She was like, this is the, how I’m doing it.

Kristen Boss (37:07):  And once she released the how and started showing up from a place of service and adding value and not being graspy and trusting the process, what do you know? She started signing people like literally the next week. That’s crazy. Actually the last week my clients have had insane results. So what creates results? It is your thoughts. It’s not doing it the right way. So many of you are so pressured about the right way. How do you know what’s ever right? Who decides it? Right? It’s right. You do right. Is just doing it, getting it done and learning that this is a game of getting better. This is a game about you refining and committing to the process over and over and over. But you cannot be in process if you’re procrastinating because you’re sitting on perfectionism because you believe that doing it right, is the only way you get results.

Kristen Boss (38:12):  Do you know what is so fun for me is sometimes I will find these big names on Instagram or social media, and I will scroll all the way back to when they started. I would encourage you to do this. I had so much fun. I actually did it with Jenna Kutcher’s account. I think two weeks ago, I scrolled all the way to the beginning because to see how she started because right now it’s really easy to look at her account and be like, oh my gosh, those photos are beautiful. The grid is so perfect. Her content just seems amazing. It just feels so far. It feels like such a far stretch for us. So sometimes we just need to see where they started. So I scrolled all the way back. And let me just tell you, I probably had a scroll for a good 25, 30 minutes, but it was so good for me to see.

Kristen Boss (39:05):  I’m like, oh, look at that. It’s kind of dark lighting actually. So fun or Instagram started with pictures of her dog and a really like dark weird lit room. And I was like, yeah, there’s hope for all of us. If Jenna Kutcher can post weird pictures of her dog, not a great layout at the beginning. And she was committed to the infinite game and the process and, and aiming for progress instead of perfection, you can too getting it right is just an impossible standard. You put on yourself that keeps you stuck. And it feels like a good standard because it’s a desire for excellence. And it’s really easy to hide behind that one. Like I just want to do it really well. Okay. Well, how will you know when it’s, well, what, when you get a result when you feel validated, well, what if you can feel validated before a result?

Kristen Boss (40:04):  Maybe I should do a podcast episode on that because I believe when we are deeply sufficient with ourselves, when we are not looking for validation from our audience, not looking for validation through likes and hearts and comments and people signing. When we find that within ourselves, we stay far more committed, far more consistent. We’re not wasting our time, judging ourselves all day. Second-guessing our content being stuck in analysis paralysis and hating it. Like you would love this business so much more. If you just stop judging yourself, if you just decided I have value, I have something to offer and the right people will want it. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right people. I am sure I offend people daily, but I decide not to focus on that or dwell on that ever because my job is to serve my people and they’re going to find me and I don’t waste my energy or my time second guessing is this good?

Kristen Boss (41:11):  I don’t know. I really want a truth bomb to drop today. Can you imagine if I was to sit before I sat down for a podcast and think, okay, this has to blow their mind. It has to be something they’ve never heard before. It has to be so individual and so unique. You would have never gotten a podcast episode ever becoming boss podcast would not even be a thing right now. I’d be in a closet crying. Second, guessing myself, eating a bowl of ice cream, thinking I was never going to be good enough. So this is my invitation to you to come out of the closet, stop eating ice cream, stop judging yourself. Stop second-guessing. Stop looking for the magic bullet. Please stop looking for success outside of yourself. It comes from you and only you not how supportive your upline is now, how involved your company is now, how motivated your downline is whole. I’m called a lot of truth bombs right now. Your success only comes from you and only you, the thoughts you choose to have the feelings that come from those thoughts, and the actions or inactions you take from those feelings and that creates your desired or undesired results.

Kristen Boss (42:37):  I hope this was refreshing for some of you. I hope for those of you who have been spinning out, looking for the unicorn thing, realizing it’s actually been inside of you this whole time. I hope you feel a little relieved. And if you want to learn more about how to find those thoughts, how to learn very simple attraction marketing that gets you results and gets you out of your head. You need to be inside the Social Selling Academy. Until next week, friends.

Kristen Boss (43:10):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you loved today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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