Best of the Academy Ep #81

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Today’s episode is an extra special one. Kristen is giving you guys a sneak peek at what it’s like to be a part of the Social Selling Academy. This is your backstage access pass into one of the best tools members have in the Academy: Weekly LIVE Coaching Calls hosted by Kristen herself. 

Today’s episode is an extra special one. Kristen is giving you guys a sneak peek at what it’s like to be a part of the Social Selling Academy. This is your backstage access pass into one of the best tools members have in the Academy: Weekly LIVE Coaching Calls hosted by Kristen herself. 

Each week, hundreds of members attend the calls and while only a few get coached live, the true magic happens in the audience. Kristen’s witnessed the biggest transformations in those who gain insight from watching those members who’ve been bold enough to be vulnerable in front of their peers. 

Join Kristen and these 4 amazing members as they get coached through issues you might be working on in your own business:

  • Feelings of inauthenticity holding you back from being bold in your business
  • Escaping an ‘Excitement Sells’ mentality in order to stay consistently motivated through the slow and boring parts
  • Overcoming fear of failure that’s causing inaction and learning how to plan for your those scary goals
  • Believing the stories you tell yourself about why you’re not succeeding and the effect they can have on your potential clients/team members

This is just a tiny sample of the hundreds of thought-provoking topics Kristen coaches on each week. And the best part of the Academy is that members have lifetime access to the replays so that they never miss a single question.

We hope you enjoyed this look into the Social Selling Academy. If you’d like to know more, visit us at:

It’s back and better than ever! Sustainable Success 2.0/22 is the virtual event of the year. Join Kristen LIVE for 3 days of intensive training, December 27th – 29th at Noon CT. This event is exactly what you need to start your New Year off right.  Click HERE to register and download your free pre-workbook. 

Connect with Kristen:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy:

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast:

Transcript for Episode #81: Best of the Academy

Kristen Boss (00:00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industries. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:00:48):  Hey bosses, welcome to another week of the podcast. Welcome to episode 81. This week, I’m going to be giving you a little sneak peek of one of the best things inside of the Social Selling Academy. If you’ve been listening to my podcast for a while, you know that I have a lifetime premier coaching program for the modern network marketer, and it’s called the Social Selling Academy. And it’s been around for a little over a year. And what we’re doing today is we’re gonna give you a little sneak peek of what coaching is like inside the Academy. And what’s interesting is a lot of people think I need to be on it live because I work or what if I can’t be there during the live coaching or what if I’m never coached by Kristen? And I just wanna offer you that some of the students in our Academy who have had the biggest transformation are people who I have never personally coached.

Kristen Boss (00:01:39):  There are people who check into the podcast weekly. We have a private at member podcast that we automatically upload all coaching calls too, so that our members can listen to the coaching on the go. So the people who have transformation are people that either catch the replays of the coaching. We have an amazing member portal for you to go back and search any topic. And it brings you right to the coaching that I’ve given another student, or can catch it live, or you can listen to it on the podcast. But a lot of the students who have huge transformation are people I’ve never personally coached, but they got transformation through watching other people get coaching. So the coaching you’re gonna listen to today, it’s a sneak peek. It gives you a small picture of what coaching is like inside the Academy. The students are going to reference a couple tools inside the Academy that you might not understand, but overall, you are going to get the gist of the struggles that these particular students were facing and the kind of coaching they got. So this is gonna be a kind of a big gift for you because you’re really gonna be able to extract a lot of value from this coaching that is norm exclusive, only to the Academy members. But today you get a backstage access pass to the live coaching. I know you’re gonna get a lot of value. I hope you enjoy.

Kristen Boss (00:02:57):  Do you make money in your business?

Academy Member 1 (00:02:58):  Yes.

Kristen Boss (00:02:59):  How much do you make?

Academy Member 1 (00:03:01):  A month? About $300 a month.

Kristen Boss (00:03:06):  Okay. How many people out there do you think want to make $300 a month?

Academy Member 1 (00:03:11):  I’m sure there’s hundreds. Thousands. I don’t know.

Kristen Boss (00:03:14):  Yeah, but I actually, what’s interesting. I think this thought I should be further Here’s what’s happening $300 a month and you’re thinking not enough, nothing to brag about nothing to write home about. Yeah. In fact it probably should be more so why on earth would you sell something to someone? If you’re thinking like here you can make $300 a month, but it’s probably not gonna feel like enough for you. So in fact just don’t. Where someone, someone needs this. Do you, do you believe that? Do you believe there are people in your audience who want that?

Academy Member 4 (00:04:01):  No.

Kristen Boss (00:04:01):  Why not?

Academy Member 1 (00:04:06):  Because it just, it doesn’t feel like $300 a month. Is that much of an impact? I mean, that’s maybe barely a car payment maybe.

Kristen Boss (00:04:18):  Yeah. But I think you’re, I think you’re in your own head a little bit. You’re thinking like $300 a month. Isn’t enough for me. So why would it be enough for them? And you are not thinking about the mom who is literally like, that is the difference between putting her child daycare or not.

Academy Member 1 (00:04:44):  I do have, I mean, my whole thought about money is like, I mean, I do believe money. You can, can make, anybody can make money. They say they don’t have enough money. You can make enough money somehow. Yeah. Like I have that belief. And so I guess when I look at like looking at the effort versus the result is like.

Kristen Boss (00:05:03):  But let’s just be really honest. Is your effort really? Are you really putting in that much effort and doing right. It’s not the right business activities. If we were to like.

Academy Member 1 (00:05:18):  No, not in the right business activities. No.

Kristen Boss (00:05:25):  You’re just expending your energy in the wrong things. And then you’re telling yourself I’m not getting paid enough, expending my energy in the wrong things. I know That’s and then, and then you’re selling, then you’re selling from this concept of like, Hey, come, come do this and make $300 a month and you’re gonna have to spend a ton of energy and you’re gonna feel like it’s not enough. And it probably just won’t even make a car payment. So, yeah. Join. I know, I hate

Academy Member 1 (00:05:48):  I know, I hate that. I hate that. I want that gone.

Kristen Boss (00:05:51):  Because you have to change your story about this for yourself and understand like $300 a month is amazing. But I, I say this with a lot of love, your thought, this is a very kind of privileged thought.

Academy Member 1 (00:06:05):  Yeah, true. It’s true.

Kristen Boss (00:06:08):  But it lacks it it’s lacking empathy for someone that desperately needs this. Yeah. And this is 80% of people that come of this industry come for this. And because you don’t believe it’s enough, you’re literally shutting out 80% of your audience. That probably wants it.

Academy Member 1 (00:06:28):  Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:06:30):  So when you say like, it’s belief, this is the belief you have to change. You have to get to the point where like $300 is life changing for people. And it really require very little energy. It requires bravery, but it requires very little energy to make this every month. That’s true. Yeah. Very little energy.

Academy Member 1 (00:06:49):  Because I feel like I’ve been making about that the whole time I’ve been doing this. I mean, yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:06:53):  It’s and so with your thought of like, I should be further along and then from that place, you’re powerful offers because you’re like, I guess I’ll just, I should post because I have to, and then your results aren’t changing. Yeah. And then it keeps you in the spiral of like, see, look, I’m still here. I’m still here. So if you wanna change your result, you’re gonna have to change your beliefs about this right here. Yeah. And realize that this is actually extraordinary. And I want you, your homework is to write down what people can buy for $300 because you’re thinking like car payment, I want you to think like how many takes of gas is that how many hours in childcare is that? How much is like, look up the average mortgage in other states be like, oh, this is the third of somebody’s mortgage. Yeah. But this is a third, like what could this mean to a single mom? Who’s already working full time. Yeah. The cost of diapers and formula is just outrageous. And this is, this would change. This would change somebody’s life. I know that at, because when I first got into network marketing a decade ago, I was at a coffee shop, hating life. And I’m like, I just need to be, this is what I needed to make to not be in that stupid coffee, coffee shop to not steam milk, to not work way more hours. I was like, I just need $300 a month. And my husband’s like, you make, you can quit the coffee shop.

Academy Member 1 (00:08:30):  Yeah, you’re right. I that’s for sure. Cause in my mind, I’ve approached a like, oh, life changings, a thousand dollars a month. And I’m like, I don’t know how to get there. I don’t know how, how to help someone else get there cuz I’m not there. So it does like, I can see how.

Kristen Boss (00:08:50):  Yeah and you’ve kept, and you’ve kept yourself here. Because you, you believe this is not extraordinary. Yeah. And honestly, honestly, let’s also what if this is just reimbursing someone, their product usage.

Academy Member 1 (00:09:07):  Yeah I have thought of that.

Kristen Boss (00:09:09):  That’s enough too. Like some of, some of your people are like, I want really luxurious skincare and my husband said I can have it. I just have to, all I need to do is have a little affiliate link and have a few friends. It’s not a big deal. Everyone slings affiliate link. It’s like, it’s not a thing. People are comfortable doing this, but you have stories around it too much energy. It’s too hard and it’s definitely not enough. And you’re not gonna feel like you’re getting you’re worth out of it. So do you want it?

Academy Member 1 (00:09:38):  Yeah. That sucks.

Kristen Boss (00:09:40):  Yeah. Okay. When you believe $300 a month is extraordinary in life, changing everything about your selling will change. Absolutely. Everything. You’ll be excited to show up. You’ll be excited. And you’ll talk about this. Yeah. And I guarantee, you know how to help somebody make $300 a month? Why? Because you do it. It’s not a problem. But this story of like, I’m just expending a lot of energy. I want you to get really honest with yourself because you’re not, you’re expending all your energy here. <Laugh> I know this is where you’re expanding all your energy in like really crappy thoughts and busy work. And you’re saying like, yeah, I talk about my business once or twice a month. And when I do talk about it, it’s from the place of like do it. It’s gonna wipe you out. It’s definitely not gonna be worth your time, but you should do it. So, okay. That’s that’s why it feels exhausting. Yeah. Okay. Catalog everything that someone could could purchase with $300 a month. All right. And why that’s and really good on board with why that’s life changing. And I want you, and I know for a fact, I know what team you’re on and I know your team does gratitudes. Somehow gratitude has not hit here.

Academy Member 1 (00:11:03):  I mean, no, I don’t look at it as you’re right. I don’t, I am not grateful for the money that I do make in my business because it’s not enough.

Kristen Boss (00:11:12):  Because it’s not enough. Yeah.

Academy Member 1 (00:11:17):  Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:11:20):  That’s why gratitude changes things. And I want you to really get to like why is $300 a month changing my life? And why is it worth thing? What do I buy with this $300 a month that I’m really thankful I get to buy? Cause you’ve kind of been sitting with like the, I love this business for the personal transformation. I think you feel gratitude there. I think you feel real gratitude there but not financially. Yeah. So what if you were take the same level of gratitude, you feel about all the transformation you’ve had as a person and got your feelings to there about this?

Academy Member 1 (00:12:02):  Well, that would make a huge difference.

Kristen Boss (00:12:03):  Everything in your business would change absolutely everything. And if you had 10 women making $300 a month, what do you think would in your business?

Academy Member 1 (00:12:15):  It would, I mean, it would explode like it would be. And it, I mean, that’s what excites me. I do have people on my team and I love that I have a team and I love that part of my business. There’s so much that I really love. And I just have not been able to figure out like, what is it that.. Where’s the belief?

Kristen Boss (00:12:36):  You have to love this. And here’s the thing. The thoughts of the leader always become the thoughts of the team. So if you’re thinking 300 IST a month, your team is thinking this too. They’re thinking when I make a thousand dollars a month, that’s something to talk about. That’s something to sell and that’s something to brag about. And so you have this entire team adopting your same thought loop and everyone is there.

Academy Member 1 (00:12:57):  That’s true. Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:13:02):  Okay. All right. You know your work.

Academy Member 1 (00:13:06):  Thanks Kristen.

Kristen Boss (00:13:09):  Hey, how you doing?

Academy Member 2 (00:13:11):  I’m great. I’m great. Thanks for picking me. I knew it was my day. I got, I put my makeup on.

Kristen Boss (00:13:17):  Today’s your, your day. What do you need coaching on?

Academy Member 2 (00:13:20):  Ok, I have thoughts. I have so many thoughts. Thoughts. Okay. So here’s, here’s my thought. Okay. I’m doing the 90 day challenge. It’s been great. All kinds of junk is coming up. It’s so fabulous. So I realize I set the wrong goal for this 90 day challenge.

Kristen Boss (00:13:39):  Why do you think you set the wrong goal?

Academy Member 2 (00:13:41):  Because I was afraid of the real goal. Cause the –

Kristen Boss (00:13:44):  Okay. So you like did a safer, smaller goal?

Academy Member 2 (00:13:48):  Yeah. Well, and it, it wasn’t even smaller or anything. It was just totally not anything. Like, I I focused on like a, a sales goal and really the goal I want is promotion. Yeah. Okay. But I’ve been stuck at the same, like title for three years, three plus years. And I’ve set the goal so many times, so many times that I just don’t even, I don’t even know where to begin anymore. I don’t even know how to set the goal. Like, should I do little goals or a big goal again, or just like, I’ve done that thing. I think you talked about in your podcast this week about how I just, it just becomes nothing and I do nothing with it because it’s been, so I don’t, I know I’m just stuck. I don’t even know where to begin.

Kristen Boss (00:14:41):  Okay. What is your plan for rank advancing? Like instead of like, cause I think that’s some people’s plan rank advance. Instead of like, I would need to have three new recruits and have my sales volume here and do this.

Academy Member 2 (00:15:01):  Yeah, that’s a, okay. So I would think that ultimately I would love my team to bring in like 10 new people a month. And really, and we’ve been averaging just like two or three, which is just kind of enough to maintain where I’m at. But so that’s what I think would be a good goal is, you know, 10 new members a month.

Kristen Boss (00:15:25):  For how long, how many months would it need to take to get to that rank advancement?

Academy Member 2 (00:15:29):  It would need, I would need about seven months of that to get where I need to be.

Kristen Boss (00:15:35):  Okay. Now I’m seeing why your brain is melting down because you see like you have like where you are now and then where you want to be. Right. And all your thinking of is getting from there to there and you actually need small goals to get to that place. Like this is plan number one, this is plan number two. This is plan number three, plan number four, plan number five so that I can get there. But most people when they’re making their goals, they’re just thinking, whoop, I just need to do that instead of like, Nope. First goal is that second goal is this. And then so on and so forth, build compounding on smaller goals. Okay. So if we were to break down your goals, what is step one?

Academy Member 2 (00:16:26):  Well, would it, should it be even smaller? Like step one should be like consistently doing five new team members a month.

Kristen Boss (00:16:35):  I think that’s a great place to start.

Academy Member 2 (00:16:37):  Okay. And then when that’s set a place, then it can grow to 10. Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:16:42):  Okay. But really what I wanna know here is what thought comes up for you with being the same rank for three?

Academy Member 2 (00:16:55):  So, so many horrible thoughts. Yeah. I think the first one is just that like I’m always stuck. I’m just stuck in middle management, right? Like I was in another direct sales company before this one. And the same thing, I was like stuck in this, like I’m like the next rank is like the senior rank, like where the big shots get to go and now I’m stuck under there. And the last one I was stuck in the same place and I’m just like, I’m just stuck. Like I, I don’t for I’m. I don’t know if I have like, like a deserve issue. I’ve been trying.

Kristen Boss (00:17:38):  When you say I’m stuck, what comes up for you? What feelings?

Academy Member 2 (00:17:47):  I feel like a failure. I feel defeated.

Kristen Boss (00:17:52):  Okay. So defeated. Would you say that’s the primary emotion that comes up for you when you are saying to yourself? I’m stuck.

Academy Member 2 (00:18:01):  Yes. Let me think. I’m stuck. I feel, I don’t know, like I guess helpless. Why would helpless come up?

Kristen Boss (00:18:11):  Yep.Yep.

Academy Member 2 (00:18:12):  Oh, okay.

Kristen Boss (00:18:15):  Helpless, yep. So when you’re feeling helpless, what do you do?

Academy Member 2 (00:18:22):  Well, I don’t work my business with determination or intention. I just kind of let it, I just put it, I just do what it does. Right. Like I’ll work, but I don’t think that intention is there. Right?

Kristen Boss (00:18:38):  I do, what you do is you do work to maintain the business because you know how to do that.

Academy Member 2 (00:18:44):  Yeah, I sure do. I’ve been doing that for years.

Kristen Boss (00:18:48):  Yeah. Because for you, that’s where you feel empowered. Well, I know how to keep the paycheck. And so when you’re doing, doing work to maintain the business, what is that called? You kinda alluded to the word for it.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:06):  Stuck.

Kristen Boss (00:19:07):  You’re in management.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:09):  Management. Yes. Oh, and I did say that too. You’re like, I’m stuck in middle management, right?

Kristen Boss (00:19:15):  Yeah. You take on the, you, you stop being a leader, driving the business forward and you start being a manager and then you you’re busy telling that person, Hey, how do you need help? And Hey, how do you need help? And can I help you with your party? And you’re not doing anything with your personal business. I guarantee that’s what’s happening.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:37):  Okay. I’m not gonna argue with that. Especially when it comes to team building. I mean, I, my personal business is great. I can run parties all day long and connect and all my social media stuff, but that’s not.

Kristen Boss (00:19:47):  But I mean like personal recruiting and developing leaders.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:50):  Absolutely. Totally.

Kristen Boss (00:19:52):  That’s probably, what’s not happening.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:54):  No, it’s, it’s really not. It’s not.

Kristen Boss (00:19:57):  What’s happening with your recruitment.

Academy Member 2 (00:19:59):  It’s very inconsistent. I’m not really finding the quality people that I want. And especially like the leaders and potential leaders, I need to really, to yet to that next rank, that’s really what’s missing is I need to develop. I mean, I have a few little small leaders, but I need at least one person that wants to come in and work this business and grow to, you know.

Kristen Boss (00:20:28):  You know, it’s, we’re all waiting for people to just come in and magically want it, but you actually have to teach them, like, there’s a reason why it’s leadership development. You have to teach them things. You have to help them step into that instead of just waiting around, being like, whenever you want it, like, there is like, as a leader, you do have to get your hands dirty. I wanna know when you are not, when you’re managing your team and not leading your team, what looks different?

Academy Member 2 (00:21:07):  So is, so I feel like right now I just do what I need to do to make sure they kind of stay connected, help them reach their bare minimum stuff.

Kristen Boss (00:21:23):  Oh, so good. Do you hear, what? Do you hear what you just said?

Academy Member 2 (00:21:31):  Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:21:34):  You only focus on helping them reach minimum.

Academy Member 2 (00:21:43):  Hmm. Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:21:49):  Everything that’s happening in your business and your organization is because you are doing minimum and you are teaching your leaders to do minimum. You’re teaching everybody, Hey, these are all the activities we do to keep our paycheck, but not grow it.

Academy Member 2 (00:22:09):  Okay. Wow. Okay. So, so now, now like, okay, okay. Sorry.

Kristen Boss (00:22:21):  I know your brain’s going to like, okay but how? I know that’s where you wanna go.

Academy Member 2 (00:22:25):  Yes. I’m like, okay, great. Figured it out.

Kristen Boss (00:22:28):  Just give me the A line, Kristen. Just tell me what to do.

Academy Member 2 (00:22:33):  Yes. Okay. I’ll do my daily work and I’ll work on my models and I’ll.

Kristen Boss (00:22:38):  But you have to evaluate why you are not pushing your leaders to growth. Okay. Why are you not saying, Hey, let’s talk about doubling your paycheck. Why is that conversation not happening?

Academy Member 2 (00:22:58):  Well, like it, obviously it obviously has to do with some belief that I have that, that they can’t or, you know what I think maybe it’s because I don’t think that they can’t, that they can’t like they’re stuck. Yeah. And they are stuck. It’s hilarious because.

Kristen Boss (00:23:27):  But that’s your that’s, you’re literally projecting this on them. Like your thought you’re like, I’m stuck. You’re stuck. We’re all stuck. We’re all gonna stay stuck. And in order to stay stuck, let’s just coach you on how to hit the minimum so we all can stay here.

Academy Member 2 (00:23:41):  Oh, you’re so right. My poor people. It so true.

Kristen Boss (00:23:45):  And then they’re thinking from you, I’m stuck. And then here’s what’s happening. Even worse is from here. You ready? This is how it all starts. You all need to see just how dangerous this thought is as a leader. Ready? This is literally when your team adopts the thoughts. And then everyone is just acting like we’re on, we’re on stuck. We’re we’re stuck. We’re not moving anywhere. No one wants this business. I can’t get people the opportunity calls. No one wants to host opportunity events.

Kristen Boss (00:24:42):  And it’s, and it was like, what? The coaching I, I was doing with chasy is like, if they’re thinking I’m stuck and this isn’t great income, then why would they recruit? Why would they have people on opportunity calls? And who wants to invite someone into a business where it’s like, come on board, we’re all stuck. And it’s fun. And we’re frustrated, but you should come.

Academy Member 2 (00:25:05):  Yes. You’re so right. And I think that’s why my, my recruiting’s been so horrible because literally the only people I’ve brought in are mostly people that have, have come to me with interest. It’s not, I’m not being pro proactive because I feel like, well, don’t join. Because even.

Kristen Boss (00:25:22):  I don’t know where we’re going.

Academy Member 2 (00:25:24):  Do you have goals? Are you really gonna reach ’em because I’ve been stuck. So yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:25:29):  Yeah. But stuck hasn’t happened to you.

Academy Member 2 (00:25:33):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:25:35):  How? I could see your brain. You’re like, wait, what? How have you, you have created stuck. We literally just modeled that out. You’re like, I’m stuck. And then I feel helpless. And then in my action line, I hold my teams accountable to only meet their minimums. I don’t prioritize recruiting. I manage. Instead of lead, the result I keep creating for myself is I’m stuck. You have not. That has not happened to you.

Academy Member 2 (00:26:06):  No.

Kristen Boss (00:26:10):  Okay. And part of it is a little bit of success at intolerance. It’s, it’s almost like you’re believing, like it’s, you know how to operate and I’m stuck. Instead of, I can figure this out, we’re all figuring it out. But here’s the thing. When you say I’m stuck, it actually is a form of self-protection because when you’re stuck, then you don’t have to take actions that scare you. You just exactly where you are. And you know, you have conditioned yourself to be very comfortable at your current rank. Like it’s okay. Like your brain believes it’s okay to stay here. So I’m just gonna keep saying we’re stuck and I’ll just continue to feel helpless because when I’m helpless, it’s not my responsibility and I can’t change it. When you realize you are not stuck and I’ve created stuck. You also can get unstuck, but it means you taking responsibility as a leader and being like, oh, I’m not prioritizing personal growth in my business. I’m not having hard conversations with people.

Academy Member 2 (00:27:19):  Yeah, no, I’m not. I’m not through, through all the model work and with ASCA coach, I’ve been working on a lot of like self worth stuff that as well, that’s just like, all this is just pulling up junk that I brought into my business about deserve level. And and then like you or the coach is just like, have fun, just have fun with your business, you know? Like don’t.

Kristen Boss (00:27:46):  This seems really fun.

Academy Member 2 (00:27:48):  Yeah, that’s why I’m not having fun. Right.

Kristen Boss (00:27:52):  We’re all just gonna stay here, get the party hats!

Academy Member 2 (00:27:55):  Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:27:59):  Yeah. Come join our really boring party.

Academy Member 2 (00:28:03):  Well, it’s not boring. It’s always exciting to strive. Right? Like, there’s that? Oh, we can do it strive. And then it’s but I’m tired of that.

Kristen Boss (00:28:11):  But we’re gonna strive from stuck.

Academy Member 2 (00:28:13):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:28:20):  Okay. Instead of like, what is in my control and what can I do and why am I not helpless to my business?

Academy Member 2 (00:28:34):  It isn’t, that’s really interesting because I’ve been telling myself too, like the, the helpless thing, I was like, you know, last year business was rocking on Facebook and then this summer, it just, it took, it really took a hit. And I was like, oh, it’s Facebook, it’s social media. Right? Like they’re doing all this, these changes and I can’t.

Kristen Boss (00:28:56):  Helpless. Helpless.

Academy Member 2 (00:28:58):  Yeah. Yeah. It’s not me. It’s them. So now I have to go back to the drawing board and change everything and everything just collapsed over the summer. It was the worst I’ve had in seven years. It being in this business.

Kristen Boss (00:29:11):  And even how you’re telling me this story. Is it happened to you and you’re totally helpless to what happened.

Academy Member 2 (00:29:17):  Yeah. Yeah. Cause I, I totally believed that until just a few weeks ago.

Kristen Boss (00:29:24):  I think you’re still believing it on some level, just with how you said, told the story to me. I’m like, oh yeah, you still believe it happened.

Academy Member 2 (00:29:31):  I don’t want to.

Kristen Boss (00:29:33):  Well, we have to like divorce this and realize I can choose to not be stuck. This is just a, a thought I keep opting into because it’s easy for me to believe because I have conditioned myself to believe I’m helpless to all the circumstances that happen in my business.

Academy Member 2 (00:29:52):  Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:29:56):  Yeah.

Academy Member 2 (00:29:57):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:29:58):  Okay. I want you to also rewatch this coaching cause I think you’re going to see a lot.

Academy Member 2 (00:30:05):  Okay. I think so too. I think it’s great. Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:30:08):  Jen, I also want you to ask what’s the name of the next rank you’re going for?

Academy Member 2 (00:30:15):  Senior executive.

Kristen Boss (00:30:16):  Okay. Senior executive. Yeah. I want you to ask yourself, who, what does Jen senior executive Jen do? Okay. What does senior executive Jen think? How does she handle these things? Because you know, very well. What, what’s your current rank? Executive sales leader. Okay. You know what, Jen, the executive thinks. You know what she does and you keep staying in that model instead of like, wait, hold on. What does senior executive Jen think? What does she do? What does she different? How does she handle this? What kind of conversations does she have with her leaders? How does she show up online?

Kristen Boss (00:30:58):  You know, I did this when I like, I had no audience and I was a brand new baby coach starting out. And I couldn’t even wrap my mind around a huge, like a $10,000 sales month. I could not wrap my mind around it. I’m like, okay, well, what does the version of Kristen who makes $10,000 a month? What does she do? How does she show up on social media? How does she show up on calls? How does she show up on these things? And it was crazy. Know what I decided to do? I was like, well, she washes her hair and takes a shower. And she looks put together when she gets on social media, I’m pretty sure that’s what she does. And that’s not for everybody, but that’s what I needed for me. Like, she’s gonna wash her freaking, she’s gonna wash her hair.

Kristen Boss (00:31:38):  And she’s gonna look professional and she’s gonna take herself seriously. And I, and there is something about stepping into that version and of yourself before it happens. And I wore heels under my desk, now I’m barefoot. But that was like what I thought. Okay. But 10 K Kristen, she does this. Yeah. And how does she interact on her sales calls? How does she ask questions? How does she handle people who send her messages and inquire about coaching? She’s super chill because she makes 10 K months. She doesn’t need that sales call. She’s good.

Academy Member 2 (00:32:11):  I think that’s excellent. That’s a really great, okay. Thing to start thinking about to get me unstuck.

Kristen Boss (00:32:21):  Yep. Well also you are not stuck.

Academy Member 2 (00:32:26):  I’m not stuck.

Kristen Boss (00:32:27):  Even though you saying like, I’m gonna go get unstuck. I’m like, no, no, you are not stuck. Okay. Like you’re done with this thought, like you’re like, I’m not stuck because stuck is a story. That’s true that I’ve been telling myself that keeps me here. Like every time you in your brain, you’re gonna notice it a lot over the next six weeks, your brain’s gonna be like, Hey, we’re stuck. I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck. And you’re gonna have to tell your brain, like I’m not available for that story. Take it elsewhere. Not available.

Academy Member 2 (00:32:57):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:33:04):  Welcome. What are you needing coaching around.

Academy Member 3 (00:33:06):  Okay. So I feel like we coached in May when I felt.

Kristen Boss (00:33:10):  I remember your coaching.

Academy Member 3 (00:33:11):  Yeah. Tired about social media. And it’s been a lot more fun since then. And I had a reel go viral and I did not. I made it to serve my audience. And now instead of 4,000 people, I have 13,000 followers, which is super fun. What a wonderful thing. It works.

Kristen Boss (00:33:32):  Tell me when you stop trying to go viral and stop trying to grow your audience, you grew your audience and went viral.

Academy Member 3 (00:33:38):  Yes. So that’s super great. I think right now, now I feel like I have a good niche. I show up on social. I have a lot of interactions, but I have a really hard time with pitching my business recruiting and like having those conversations, I’m okay to talk to somebody, see if the business opportunities right. For them and close them and sign them up as a consultant. Okay. I don’t have a lot of business conversations. So I caught the tail end of the one where she’s like, I’m stuck. I feel kind of stuck a little backstory for, but not really the last five months, but like the year prior to that, I had a lot of health issues. So I didn’t not recruit because I felt so poor. I was like to get anybody on to start them to have conversations. Like I couldn’t do it. Yeah. You probably

Kristen Boss (00:34:32):  Yeah, you probably thought I don’t have the energy, right?

Academy Member 3 (00:34:33):  Yeah. Like I literally was in bed a lot, barely being able to take care of my kids. So I’m now feeling like, I don’t know how to do this anymore. And my team numbers have suffered over the last year.

Kristen Boss (00:34:46):  Why do you believe you don’t know how to do that anymore? Because that’s right an optional story. That’s totally optional. Why are you walking into that?

Academy Member 3 (00:34:55):  It feels like this is where it is on my social media. I feel like I haven’t talked about the business so much and I have really like honed in on a niche that doesn’t include talking about. My business has been like regular. I talk about products, my product sales I’m happy with obviously would love to grow, continue, but like, that’s good. I have got.

Kristen Boss (00:35:21):  But why aren’t you talking about the business?

Academy Member 3 (00:35:24):  I don’t know. Cause it feels.

Kristen Boss (00:35:26):  Cause you’re like, I don’t know how to do this anymore. So why would I bring people over?

Academy Member 3 (00:35:29):  Right. Yeah. And it feels like not like I’m going to get judged or too people pleasing. Maybe that’s the bottom of like, oh, she’s telling me all about health here, but now she wants me to join her business. It it like.

Kristen Boss (00:35:45):  So what if they do think that, right? So let’s say they think that let’s say they follow you. They’re like, oh my gosh, all this health is so great. Love. And then you come on with business stories, you talk very boldly about business. What’s the worst, the worst that can happen here.

Academy Member 3 (00:36:02):  They unfollow. They okay. They scooch, they go, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna learn about business. I’ll wait until the next health post. Yeah. It doesn’t like, I don’t feel scared for them to not like it. I just don’t do it very often. Cause I don’t wanna come across as like too bold or yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:36:25):  I don’t want to come off too bold is definitely a version of, I don’t want them to not like how I’m talking about business. Like you’re like, Kristen I don’t care what they think. I’m like, yes you do.

Academy Member 3 (00:36:35):  Right? I guess how do I phrase it?

Kristen Boss (00:36:39):  Why is bold bad in your mind though? Like why is bold too much. I want to know why.

Academy Member 3 (00:36:43):  Because I want, I wanna make sure that people understand that there it’s not a bad decision if they don’t choose the business, but I want them to have the option to choose the business, to see if it’s a fit for them. But they can say no. And I don’t care if they never join.

Kristen Boss (00:37:04):  I still don’t understand like, why you being bold is a problem?

Academy Member 3 (00:37:06):  Right?

Kristen Boss (00:37:09):  If you’re bold, right? What do you, what is your brain telling you might happen?

Academy Member 3 (00:37:17):  But it just comes across that my main objective is for them to join my business versus my main objective being to teach them, you know, to teach them things, to simplify.

Kristen Boss (00:37:33):  Why can’t it be both? My objective is to have you join the business and to also help.

Academy Member 3 (00:37:40):  I don’t know

Kristen Boss (00:37:41):  What, like, but why is it a wrong objective for you to grow, like to grow business partners?

Academy Member 3 (00:37:48):  It isn’t. In my rational.

Kristen Boss (00:37:50):  Your brain tells you it is.

Academy Member 3 (00:37:52):  My, yes. And, and I think the feeling of being stuck is because I don’t know what divides that, like, what’s the thought that divides. And when somebody else, just anybody that you come across on Instagram, who’s selling their business. I’m like, that’s awesome. But I can’t seem to do it myself. That doesn’t feel really awkward or very salesy, which is such, it’s like an, what does that even mean? So then I just kind of don’t I will get some people, like I get, you know, five to 10 people a year to join my team just by not talking about it. Which is great. Imagine

Kristen Boss (00:38:31):  Imagine what happened if you would start talking about it from high levels of belief.

Academy Member 3 (00:38:34):  Exactly.

Kristen Boss (00:38:38):  So, OK. But here, let me ask you this. Yeah. What’s happening in your brain is you are trying to solve for how can I talk about this business in a way that’s not spammy and not too bold. And you are spinning your wheels and you, you’re not able to think of an answer instead of like, I’m just gonna talk about my business. And some people will think it’s salesy. Some people will think it’s bold, no matter how I sell it. And that’s okay. Like it can be bold. It can be salesy service and it can also be authentic. And I, that it’s the else also thinks this is bold salesy. Like they can, they can coexist.

Academy Member 3 (00:39:26):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (00:39:28):  What do you think about that?

Academy Member 3 (00:39:31):  Rationally? I understand it.

Kristen Boss (00:39:34):  Where’s your resistance coming up to that?

Academy Member 3 (00:39:37):  I feel like put the camera in front of me and have me talk about anything health wise. I got it. I’m very confident in that. It just feels not confident or it needs to be like, join my opportunity webinar. Then I can pitch it. It feels very weird to you show up and just talk about the business or to give business tips, cuz I’m not a business account, but yet I have a lot of other consultants and other people in MLMs that follow me. So it’s not like I couldn’t give business tips. It just seems.

Kristen Boss (00:40:13):  Instead of business tips, why not just business offers. Right. What’s interesting is I think you have a self concept of somebody like I’m a health expert, but I think you’re not really owning that you are a business owner.

Academy Member 3 (00:40:27):  Yes. Because when I worked, when I was a chiropractor in practice, I didn’t sell the business. I sold Chiropractic.

Kristen Boss (00:40:35):  But you are a business owner who sells a business now.

Academy Member 3 (00:40:40):  So I’m very good at selling health. I’m not good at selling the business. And they don’t, maybe that’s the bridge. They don’t seem to go together.

Kristen Boss (00:40:51):  What if you were, stayed in the chiropractic world and if you told me Kristen, and I wanna scale my earnings as a chiropractor, I would say, great, you need to open up multiple chiropractic offices and have multiple chiropractors working under you. And you would develop either a franchise or you would scale out to multiple chiropractic office which would require you to sell the vision and say, and then you would have to recruit other chiropractors.

Academy Member 3 (00:41:19):  That seems, I mean, not easy in practice, but mentally yes.

Kristen Boss (00:41:23):  But it works. But here’s the same. Like if you were, let’s just stay with this chiropractor analogy. Like you can have a really thriving office just focusing on your patients and you, but you are limited. Your income is limited based on how many bodies you physically can get in the door. Yes. But when you scale and you say, my hands are limited by how many I’m limited by how many people I can like put my hands on in a day. How can I have my vision, my expertise, and duplicate this customer experience through other chiropractors that think like me that have my values, where they can recreate this customer experience outside of me, I’m gonna duplicate myself. And I’m going to launch other chiropractic businesses. So that, that chiropractor based on my philosophy and what I teach, they’re gonna grow a thriving practice, but I have to pitch them on why working under my umbrella, cause you’re gonna take a percentage from them. Why it’s worth them being under your umbrella. This is thinking as an entrepreneur and in network marketing, you’re just starting like, Hey, here’s your little business franchise. Now I’m gonna help you. And here’s your little business franchise now I’m gonna help you. And here’s your business franchise.

Academy Member 3 (00:42:41):  That makes sense.

Kristen Boss (00:42:43):  Now it’s about scaling your ability to help more people. Yes. Because when you, because now you can say, here’s why you should join my business. I am a chiropractor. And so when you’re under our team’s organization, we offer these very special tools that aren’t available. If you were to join other organizations, we create this customer experience and you don’t have to be a healthcare professional, like I am to, have a business.

Academy Member 3 (00:43:14):  Yep.

Kristen Boss (00:43:15):  Can you see the? Can we, can you understand the bridge now?

Academy Member 3 (00:43:19):  Yes. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And I feel like I could your impact. Yes. And I, my brain now says people who are interested in health, so wouldn’t be other chiropractors. And I have a ton of those followers who love health. You can join my business, you can sell this. And this is a way to make income while educating about health.

Kristen Boss (00:43:43):  How does that feel to you?

Academy Member 3 (00:43:44):  That feels good.

Kristen Boss (00:43:45):  And can you make bold offers from that place?

Academy Member 3 (00:43:48):  Yes.

Kristen Boss (00:43:49):  Yeah. You’re literally inviting someone into owning their own wellness business, your mentorship and it can feel likeservice. But it has to be bold because otherwise they’re gonna go with somebody that’s pitching a lot bolder than you are. Because bold, like you are thinking of the worst person when you’re thinking of bold, you’re thinking like that. Person’s gonna think I’m spammy aggressive and gross. Whereas with bold, when I’m bold, I think of only my best people. And I think of like, they need my boldness to help their belief. They need to see me be bold because what they’re buying is my certainty and their inevitability of success. When they work with me, that’s how bold translates psychologically to your audience, your best people, your worst people are gonna think, man, this is aggressive. And it’s like fine out the door, go. My best people. My best people are like are throw their money and they sign me up. My best people are in the Academy. They’re here because I’m bold and bold comes from belief of like, I’m the person to help you? What? There are other coaches. I thought I was the only coach. And this is why I’m the only coach you should work with. Like that’s, that’s my belief. And I don’t care if people think I’m spammy. I really don’t.

Academy Member 3 (00:45:11):  Okay. I, I like, I think it was just bridging the gap between what I used to do, cause I had a lot of skills being a chiropractor and selling chiropractic so I can sell the business. Once I talk to that person. I have to make the offer to talk to a lot more people.

Kristen Boss (00:45:30):  And you have to like, I want you to be in the one in your stories. When you go live, I want you to invite business conversations. Invite it. If you want business conversations with people, invite them to business conversations.

Academy Member 3 (00:45:48):  Okay. Cause you had told me social media coaching invite be people to just engage with you. And that has been so fun and it works, you know,

Kristen Boss (00:45:58):  Do both. Yeah. But you also, like if you want business conversations, you have to sell business conversations. Yeah. Okay. Anything you want, you have to sell. I love it. I want business conversations with people. Therefore I’m going to sell business conversations with people. I want to, you know, three people at the three day event, I’m going to sell it. Like my life depended on it. OK?

Academy Member 3 (00:46:23):  Perfect.

Kristen Boss (00:46:24):  All right. Thank you to what you do. I’m very excited to see what happens to your recruitment. I too. All right, Megan.

Kristen Boss (00:46:32):  You have this story of like, I need to stay. Why?

Academy Member 4 (00:46:39):  So that people so that I’m attracting from abundance, you know?

Kristen Boss (00:46:43):  Yeah. But it’s so interesting that you think you, that excitement is what sells. Like if I’m feeling good, that’s what creates seven probably. Yeah. And you’re using this, you’re using that as a little bit of, of a crutch. Like this is the way I am first. Instead of I learn to stick with hard things. Even when it doesn’t feel fun. Yes. Like in any gram seven, doesn’t say like, it’s almost like you’re saying this is the way I am and I’m just trying to figure it out instead of like, Hey, this is I’m creating self-awareness about this part of me.

Kristen Boss (00:47:15):  And I have to learn to be somebody who stays with things even when it doesn’t feel exciting. Yeah. So it’s like, it’s not just with your business. It’s also with your niche. Because if you’re constantly only motivated to stay with your niche, when you feel really excited about it and you feel really motivated and you’re really inspired by your own content, then you’re gonna find out you’re gonna be really inconsistent with your content. And then eventually you’re gonna think, you’re gonna think your niche is tired and you need to like evolve your niche because you think you need to feel excited to create results. Is that true? For sure. Okay. Okay. How, what is that perpetuating with you having that belief? Like what results has that been creating for you historically?

Academy Member 4 (00:47:57):  I mean I’m incredibly inconsistent and just overwhelmed by the notion of it. Right? Cause the excitement is the

Kristen Boss (00:48:04):  Notion of what? The notion of what?

Academy Member 4 (00:48:06):  The notion of always being excited by my, my own content.

Kristen Boss (00:48:09):  No. Why do you think you have to be excited? This is so fascinating to me. It’s like, you think you have to be excited

Academy Member 4 (00:48:18):  Because I think people are attracted to fun. Excitement.

Kristen Boss (00:48:21):  That’s you? That’s your context of the world, right? That’s you thinking? Like I like to feel excited about things. Yeah. So then you, that everybody else has to feel excited in order to listen to you. So then that creates the pressure of like I have to always be excited. Yeah. And I have to always feel excited. Right. Is that a reasonable expectation of yourself?

Academy Member 4 (00:48:48):  Probably not. So my question is like.

Kristen Boss (00:48:52):  Pause. No. I’m not letting you run. I’m not letting you run. I’m really making you sit with this. You’re like, wait, I’m like, no, no, no. Sit with this. Like with this idea of like you keep, do you see how you have perpetuated this from your own belief? Like it has to be exciting because people only buy things if they’re excited about it.

Academy Member 4 (00:49:13):  Yeah. Yeah. I mean.

Kristen Boss (00:49:18):  Because then what? Cause then you only believe people buy things from that place. But then, and then the reality you create for yourself is what? I always have to be excited

Academy Member 4 (00:49:28):  You constantly have to create excitement.

Kristen Boss (00:49:29):  Yeah. And how does that make you feel?

Academy Member 4 (00:49:35):  I guess like less than, because I can’t constantly do that for people. Like I can’t.

Kristen Boss (00:49:43):  This is where your overwhelm is coming from.

Academy Member 4 (00:49:46):  Yeah.

Kristen Boss (00:49:47):  Because you’re thinking, okay. I have to like land on something that always feels good to me. Yeah. And then if it doesn’t feel good, I’m not gonna get results. Right. And so it’s like, you keep chasing excitement because you think excitement creates results.

Academy Member 4 (00:50:02):  So what should I be chasing?

Kristen Boss (00:50:04):  What do you think? First of all is excitement. Like it’s, it’s just, I asked you this earlier. Like, is it a realistic expectation?

Academy Member 4 (00:50:13):  I mean, I’m a pretty like happy, excited person.

Kristen Boss (00:50:16):  Are you gonna be excited a hundred percent of the time every day? No, no. It’s not in human. This is a completely inhuman expectation of yourself. Yeah. Yeah. Like it’s like, I gotta go around life being super high vibe, super happy, super excited. And if I’m not excited, what happens to you in your business? The moment you aren’t feeling that, then what happens?

Academy Member 4 (00:50:37):  I don’t wanna show up so I don’t show up. And then yeah. I lose momentum.

Kristen Boss (00:50:42):  You become inconsistent. Yeah. And then what happens when you lose momentum? When you become inconsistent, what is your response to that?

Academy Member 4 (00:50:51):  Like the results?

Kristen Boss (00:50:53):  Like the result is you, you becoming inconsistent in your business and you end up seeing probably a downturn in your sales or things start to plateau. Yeah. Have you, how long have you been at your current rank? I would guess a while.

Academy Member 4 (00:51:05):  A year?

Kristen Boss (00:51:06):  Yep. Do you know why that is?

Academy Member 4 (00:51:09):  Well, I know that I’m not consistent.

Kristen Boss (00:51:12):  Because why?

Academy Member 4 (00:51:14):  Because I’m not excited about it.

Kristen Boss (00:51:16):  Because you keep. No, no, even your answer. You’re like the reason why I’ve stayed at this rank is because I’m not excited.

Academy Member 4 (00:51:25):  Well you’re but if we’re tying the two together, like I’m only gonna be consistent if I’m excited. So how do I get consistent? Like –

Kristen Boss (00:51:33):  You have to stop learning. You have to stop learning to work from excitement. Right. You’ve conditioned yourself to only work from excitement. But what’s interesting.

Academy Member 4 (00:51:41):  But I don’t work very often.

Kristen Boss (00:51:43):  So yeah. The reason why you’ve been at your rank for a year is not because you’re not excited. It’s because you haven’t learned to be consistent.

Academy Member 4 (00:51:54):  I know. How do I learn that?

Kristen Boss (00:51:55):  That’s the only reason because you. Why do you think, how do you think you have to learn to be someone who’s consistent?

Academy Member 4 (00:52:02):  You just have to do it. I guess like lifting weights, like you just start like small.

Kristen Boss (00:52:08):  You have to stop chasing a feeling. You are using a feeling to inform whether you should be taking action in your business. Like it’s like, you’re constantly trying to generate excitement. And then when excitement’s not there, you haven’t taught yourself to work. Without that feeling. You actually, you know, the feeling of, of excitement in your body, you know, that feeling really well. It’s like, it feels like motivation, right? You’re like, but that it’s a false fuel cause it only lasts so long. Right? What does commitment feel like? Cause commitment feels very different from excitement.

Academy Member 4 (00:52:54):  Well, it feels kind of boring to me, but I, but.

Kristen Boss (00:52:57):  Yeah. Yep. Boring. Why is boring a problem?

Academy Member 4 (00:53:04):  Cause it’s not fun.

Kristen Boss (00:53:05):  So what?

Academy Member 4 (00:53:11):  So the people that are consistent, people that are consistent, they are comfortable with boring? They’re like it’s okay. Cause I’m just.

Kristen Boss (00:53:20):  Gonna show up. Oh my gosh. You’re gonna love my next podcast episode. Okay. I literally talk about being willing to embrace boring mundane, monotonous, the grind.

Academy Member 4 (00:53:32):  You have, because you always seem, you seem pretty like excited.

Kristen Boss (00:53:36):  I’ve learned to, I’ve learned to create joy. I’ve learned to find joy in doing the mundane and the boring.

Academy Member 4 (00:53:47):  You talk about that in the same.

Kristen Boss (00:53:48):  Oh yeah. Oh, you’re gonna, it’s gonna be really uncomfortable for you. The next podcast. If this conversation isn’t already uncomfortable for you, but like I’m being exceptionally hard on you because I see any of grams, like label themselves. And like, they use it as like, but this is who, who I am. And I’m like, no, I don’t care.

Academy Member 4 (00:54:08):  Well, I, for sure would’ve quit like six months ago. I, I feel like there’s so many times I wanted to quit and I was like, no, I know I have something good here. And it fits so hand in glove with like, like I’m opening a hot yoga studio just in my basement. But in a couple weeks, like we’re moving. And I’m like, I feel like it is such a good fit for me, but I’m wanting like, I’m wanting to be the person who can show up every day, regardless of how I feel. And I have four kids and three of ’em are boys and I, yeah. Like I don’t always feel.

Kristen Boss (00:54:40):  You would never know. You would never know if I had a bad day. I’ve just literally learned to show up no matter what. Like, I don’t need excitement to show up to my business. But this is how you’ve, you’ve just conditioned yourself to like, I’m excited. I work. I’m not excited. I don’t work I’m in. And just as soon as I said, why are you stuck at the same rank? And you said it’s cause I’m not excited. I’m like, no, it’s because you’re not consistent. And you haven’t learned to embrace the. What you label as boring, I label as commitment. Okay. Marriage is boring.

Academy Member 4 (00:55:22):  Yeah, it can be.

Kristen Boss (00:55:24):  But that’s my thought, right? If I’m like thinking, Ugh, like people that are like, listen, there’s a difference between when you’re dating and marriage like dating, there was excitement that landed me in a lot of really toxic relationships because I’m like, this is exciting. Was it healthy? No. Yeah. And then there was steadfastness that came with commitment and it felt different. I had to learn and listen, when I was in my unhealthy place, I viewed the stead fastness as boring. I literally dumped my husband and went and dated a narcissist because that was exciting. And my husband I’m like, well that’s, that’s gonna seems boring. I mean, he’s gonna call me when he says he is that’s boring. But this is what you’re doing in your business.

Academy Member 4 (00:56:11):  I’m saying like, I like do I’ll go, I’ll go and bake banana bread. If that sounds exciting to me, I go,

Kristen Boss (00:56:18):  Cause you’re chasing a feeling. Yeah, you have, this is all like you. Instead of you learning to chase a feeling by doing something else. And actually what you’re doing is you think you’re chasing excitement. What you’re actually doing is buffering, chasing a temporary feeling of pleasure and fun to avoid the negative emotion of discomfort, boredom, monotony, like everything. You making millions of dollars is you being willing to feel boredom and monotony and commitment. But you’ve just conditioned your brain the moment it feels that way you think you truly believe people don’t buy, unless I’m feeling excited. And I can’t write content unless I’m feeling excited. So you’ve like created this condition of like, I only create results when I’m excited.. Instead of I create results when I’m committed.

Academy Member 4 (00:57:18):  Yeah, that’s good. So would you say, I would start with like just blocking off an hour of time a day and just like doing that power hour basically.

Kristen Boss (00:57:24):  And you’re gonna feel so many urges that are gonna come up in that hour. You’re gonna be so uncomfortable. Your brain’s gonna be like should we get a Spotify playlist going? Maybe we should like, let’s do some real research. Ooh. You know what? Ooh, I’m gonna, you know what, let me just, I forgot what I’m gonna make for dinner. Let me just get on Pinterest real quick. You brain is going to fight you so hard because you are literally forcing it to sit down and do something that feels boring and committed where you have conditioned your brain to believe, I can’t do things when I, that’s boring. Yeah. So you’re gonna sit there for an hour and you’re gonna notice, like, you’re gonna feel such intense now emotion. It’s like, it’s gonna feel like an itch that you feel a compulsion to scratch. That is excitement for you. It is this itch that you keep scratching and you keep running from your results. Because you cannot help, but scratch the itch. You’re like, oh, that’s fun. That sounds fun. I’m gonna go do that. What does commitment feel like to you?

Academy Member 4 (00:58:29):  Like in my business right now?

Kristen Boss (00:58:30):  In your body. Like, you know how excitement feels. This is a seven, this is work that you have to do as a seven is identifying feelings and emotions in your body. And actually being willing to process negative emotion. Like, Ooh, I feel, yeah. Okay. I want to know. Well, when you’re excited, how does that feel? What happens in your body? Don’t tell me thoughts. Tell me sensations.

Academy Member 4 (00:58:55):  Happy energy. Like awake alert.

Kristen Boss (00:58:59):  Like where do you feel it?

Academy Member 4 (00:59:02):  Hmm. Like up here.

Kristen Boss (00:59:08):  See so fascinated. It’s like you’re having a hard time even identifying where in your body it’s happening. Yeah. This is like how much work you need to do with like, getting to know what you’re feeling. Okay. So get a little more clear. Where do you feel excitement if you were to locate it in your body, where would you feel? It?

Academy Member 4 (00:59:28):  Honestly, I like, I feel like, you know, it just like makes you like, like sit up.

Kristen Boss (00:59:34):  Lightness in your chest? Yeah. Yeah. So light and in your chest. Okay. When you’re about to do boring work what does that feel like?

Academy Member 4 (00:59:49):  Like I feel like a heaviness in my chest and like kind of like, probably not a pit in my stomach, but just, I feel like just like body language. Like I just wanna slump over and just like.

Kristen Boss (01:00:06):  Okay, okay. And your body physiologically doesn’t want to feel that it’s like, oh no, this, we can’t feel this. And you’ve conditioned it to be like, I gotta go find the light flutery feeling in my chest. Cause then that’ll fix it. Instead of you learning to have that feeling, letting it be there and then still choosing to do the task.

Academy Member 4 (01:00:28):  Okay. Do you think that it gets easier? Do you think that you still feel the boredom of it? Like, I

Kristen Boss (01:00:38):  Mean, yeah, I’m a human. I still have urges. I’ve just learned to train my brain. Yeah. To work with commitment rather than excitement.

Academy Member 4 (01:00:47):  Yeah. Yeah. And well, and can’t you kind of like tie the future, like results to excitement, like you’re tying that.

Kristen Boss (01:00:57):  Yes. That’s being committed to the vision. When you’re deeply committed to the vision, you can create excitement instead of like going out and finding excite meant through a different activity. There’s a difference with like buffering for like, I just wanna feel better in this moment versus I’m gonna work in this commitment and I’m gonna grow more in love with my vision and my commitment to the long term.

Academy Member 4 (01:01:23):  Okay.

Kristen Boss (01:01:24):  Yeah. It’s so much like it’s a lot like marriage, it doesn’t always feel like hot and heavy and exciting and all like, it feels very committed and very steadfast and very different. And you have to learn to cultivate excitement in a marriage. Do you not? Yeah. Yeah. Totally. No different in your business. You have to learn to cultivate, like actually cultivate a desire to work when it feels not fun.

Academy Member 4 (01:01:51):  Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Kristen Boss (01:01:56):  Are you a six figure earner yet?

Academy Member 4 (01:01:58):  Not yet.

Kristen Boss (01:01:59):  This is what’s keeping you from being a six figure earner.

Academy Member 4 (01:02:02):  For sure. For sure. It is.

Kristen Boss (01:02:06):  Like, you’re this close.

Academy Member 4 (01:02:06):   Am. I could, I could qualify for the trip next month.

Kristen Boss (01:02:11):  If you learn to feel all the discomfort and sit with boredom and still work, you will get there. You will be on that trip. Okay. Mark my words,

Kristen Boss (01:02:24):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the Academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or have been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to to learn more.

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