Labeling Your Leaders EP #92

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As January ends and we move into February, you might notice a change in the level of motivation of certain leaders on your team. It’s easy for some to get caught up in the excitement of setting big goals in the New Year, only for it to turn into inaction, frustration, and missed opportunities. 

As January ends and we move into February, you might notice a change in the level of motivation of certain leaders on your team. It’s easy for some to get caught up in the excitement of setting big goals in the New Year, only for it to turn into inaction, frustration, and missed opportunities. 

And as their leader, it can be just as easy for you to label those members as someone who “doesn’t want it enough” or that they’re not doing enough,” which can lead to a spiral of negative emotions, judgement, and ineffective leadership.

In this week’s episode, Kristen talks about why labeling your leaders, no matter how innocent it may seem, can limit their potential to grow on your team.

If you want to become a more effective leader, listen in as Kristen dives into these topics:

  • The questions to ask to find your leader’s true ‘why’ to help them reach their goals
  • Understanding where your leaders are: growth vs. maintaining
  • Why it’s essential to hold your leaders accountable for creating their own buy-in
  • How to know the difference between setting expectations and setting standards of excellence

When you start taking things your team leaders do personally, it can mean that there are stories you’re telling yourself about your own leadership. Creating independent and self-reliant leaders takes time, and it all starts with you. 

Applications for the Purpose & Profit 6 Figure Earner Mastermind are now OPEN! If you’re a six or seven-figure earner in the network marketing industry and want to learn how to scale your business for sustainable growth without the hustle mentality, then the Purpose & Profit Mastermind is where you need to be. Applications are open until midnight CT on Friday, February 4th. Apply here.

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy:

Transcript for Episode #92 Labeling Your Leaders:

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industries. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:48):  Hey bosses! Welcome to another episode of the podcast. Before we get started with our topic for today. I just want to remind you that today, the applications open for the six and seven-figure mastermind. We call it the Purpose and Profit Mastermind. So we only open up applications twice a year, once every six months. So it is your time. I know some people who applied last round didn’t get in, or they were waiting for the next round. So it is your time. If you are wanting to secure your team, secure your leadership, have sustainable systems in place, and really learn to leverage your leadership, understand how to work your money in the network, that marketing business model really helps your leaders and see success in all areas of your organization, along with your personal life and have your life back and experience true time freedom, you’re going to want to apply if you haven’t listened to the other interviews.

Kristen Boss (01:46):  And the other podcast interviews that those are going to be so helpful just to hear from other members of their experience and what they’ve taken away. It’s just so extraordinary. And I kind of want to shout out one of my mastermind members. She just got to work. We kick off with a live two day event. And just so you know, if you haven’t seen already that the event is not going to be in Chicago, this round, it is going to be in Colorado Springs. We’ve moved locations for various reasons, but we are in my hometown in Colorado Springs. And so we’re going to be at a beautiful mountain resort overlooking just the front range. It is beautiful. It’s going to be phenomenal it’s an experience, but the live two-day event is when we kick off and we do two days of intensive coaching and they give you everything you need.

Kristen Boss (02:30):  And then over the six months you get weekly calls, weekly coaching to implement what you decided and what you learned at the live event. If you can’t make it live, don’t let that be a problem for you. We’ve had members that have still had extraordinary results that attended virtually. So I always make a promise that you’re going to get your entire, the entire value of your investment from the two-day live event. So if you’ve been on the waitlist, it’s time for you to apply applications close Friday, February 4th at midnight. So don’t wait, check out the link in the show notes. All right. So this topic today, I’m excited about because it’s, I really believe it’s a necessary conversation. And I really think it’s going to help you in regards to developing your leaders. It’s the beginning of the year or the early side of the year.

Kristen Boss (03:16):  And this is inevitably going to, to come up for you at some point this year, right now you might have a lot of motivated leaders. People who are showing up, people are who are saying, I want this and they’re doing the things, but you have to think about how you’re going to keep them in forward momentum in daily consistent action, be beyond the first 60 days of the year. It’s kind of like a gym membership. People, you know, have all these health goals at the beginning of the year and then life gets in the way and life happens. And, you know, we let other things kind of take precedence over the things that we, that is important to us, the things that we’ve promised to ourselves at the beginning of the year, and that is inevitably going to happen at some in your organization. And you need to know how you’re going to handle that and address that.

Kristen Boss (04:05):  I think the most important thing I want to start with is telling you to expect it, to expect your leaders at some point to come to you and say, life is really chaotic. I need to take a step back. Life is just really overwhelming. I just think I might need to work on my priorities or things are really busy. Now I just need to wait until things settle down for a bit, or I need to take a step away. I mean, you all have heard it. You’ve heard all the different flavors that your, you know, that your recruits or your downline give you as to why they’re unable to show up why they’re not making the team calls while they’re not prioritizing their work. And I understand that that can feel frustrating for you. However, I want to really encourage you to not let frustration be your primary driving emotion when it comes to leading your leaders.

Kristen Boss (04:59):  And I get that, it’s really easy for that to be a primary emotion. And what I’ve noticed is when people operate from frustration, they start feeling like they don’t want to waste their time with this person. They kind of want that person to come back and earn their time. Or are they kind of like leave that person to their own devices. They stop engaging in conversation, and then they do something that I’m going to call. They start labeling their leaders or labeling their team members like, well, that person, they say like, that person doesn’t want it. They don’t want it. And here’s why I really want you to not use that expression unless they have explicitly told you out of their mouth, I do not want to do this anymore. But 90% of the time, what I see leaders do is I see them look at the action or the inaction of someone on their team.

Kristen Boss (05:54):  And they’ve interpreted that as they don’t want it as the person doesn’t want it. And the common thing I hear is, well, if they wanted it, they would show me they would do the things. And that’s not always true because when you believe they don’t want it, what that does is it gets you off the hook for asking the hard questions for really, for helping them reevaluate their goals for actually leading them for leading them. Listen, when you’re leading, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies and unicorns. You figured that out by now. And it’s just not leading people who are self-led, who are self-motivated. Those are the kind of people you want, but you have to build those skills in somebody. You have to teach them how to be self-led you have to teach them how to be resourceful and self-reliant and independent. You have to teach those skills, especially if you’re bringing someone on, that’s never been in network marketing.

Kristen Boss (06:51):  Like you have to understand that there’s a learning curve for them. And you have to be all in as a leader, getting them the inevitable road bumps that they’re going to experience. But when you see here’s, here’s a common situation that I see. So let’s say you sit down with this recruit and they’ve said, I’m so excited for my goals this year, I’m ready. I’m all in. And I want to secure that next rank. What I see most leaders do is they get very excited and they kind of like immediately jump on that. And they kind of, they from a place of excitement, they’re like, great, okay, now let’s come up with a plan. The first thing you’ve missed when you’re jumping right to the plan is you’ve missed. Why, why now? Why is that important to you? Now? You actually have to establish smaller why behind the goal.

Kristen Boss (07:41):  They might have joined your organization with their big why. And sometimes when the why is so big and it’s so distant, they feel disconnected from it. If they don’t believe the why is possible, that’s when they’re going to start checking out and say, and negotiate with themselves on, it’s not that important because the why feels too far away. So you need to bring them to a why that feels more tangible and something they feel they can taste and touch and that they feel is possible that they feel they can do and accomplish. So a lot of times you might have someone who’s been, I’m going to call them a leaper where they’ve been like, kind of hiding behind the scenes, not really attending the team calls, not maybe showing up here and there not really posting they’re kind of a sleeper. And then they kind of wake up from their slumber the first of the year, or maybe when they see activity happening with your team.

Kristen Boss (08:34):  And they’re like, okay, I want it. And they come to you and they make this big audacious goal of like, that’s it, we’re going all the I’m going to the top. I want it really bad. This time, your job, as a leader in that moment is not to get in the pool or get in their emotional state with them and be like, oh my gosh, yes, all the way girl. And from all that excitement and hype creating an action plan for her, there are a couple of things that have gone wrong already in that scenario. The first thing is you have to talk her down to what is the very next most tangible goal? What is the smaller bite-size goal to get there? So, you know, really evaluate the last six months of their activity, what they’ve done. And if, if it’s too big of a jump, it’s going to create a lot of mental drama for them.

Kristen Boss (09:23):  And they’re going to be unable to see any forward progress, cause they’re going to constantly be measuring themselves against how far they want to be. And they’re going to discredit all their small wins they’re and they always going to feel defeated. So the first thing you need to do is kind of downsize and bring the goal a little closer to them. And then when they do tell you I’m going all the way, and this is what I want. You need to stop right there before any plan is spoken before any goal is set, you need to get clear on their why and if say, well, I’m just, I’m sick of my job. Or my husband is so burnt out and so tired, or we’re really financially strapped. That’s like their superficial why. That’s the thing that’s most readily available for them in their mind. But I think you need to go three layers deep with a why.

Kristen Boss (10:16):  So when they say, well, I really want to quit my job. Okay. Instead of just saying yeah. Great. Love it. You need to ask again. Okay. So tell me, why is it important for you to quit your job? And then they might say, well, I’m just really tired of dropping the kids off at daycare every day. And the daycare expenses are just so frustrating and we’d rather just put the money elsewhere. And I think I’d, I’d just rather be with home with my kids now we’ve done two whys. Now we need to ask a third. Why? Okay. Tell me why that’s important for you. Why is it important for you to be home with your kids every day they might say, then they might tell you a story they might say, well, I just feel like I don’t have emotional fulfillment in my family and I’m, I don’t feel like I’m connecting with my kids in a way I want to, and this isn’t what I pictured for myself.

Kristen Boss (11:06):  So now we’re getting to a much deeper, more fulfilling why, and you’re understanding the heartbeat of your leader. You’re understanding what motivates them and what drives them. So it’s really important that they say those things out loud. Because again, they’re just going to say, yeah, I just want to get out of my job, but they need to hear themself. Say, I need to get out of my job or I want to leave my job so that I can have a more emotional presence and fulfillment with my children at home because I want to create new core values and family traditions. That’s going to have a, a lot more weight and conviction for them on a hard day than just I want to leave my job because they already are conditioned to what they know what we just, as humans, when things get uncomfortable, we resort to what we know what is known.

Kristen Boss (11:54):  And even when we’re unhappy, even when, with when we’re miserable, we resort to what we know. So that leader, if they haven’t helped them like really secure that three layer deep why, they’re going to resort back to what they know. And it’s a job that they don’t like, and they’re just going to negotiate with themselves. Why it’s not so bad, I could just stay here or maybe I can find something else. So as a leader, it’s really important for you to keep digging until you find a really strong, strong why for the next goal. Okay. And then so three layers deep, why that’s important. And then the next you need to do, are you ready? You need to shut up. I see a lot of leaders. They’re like, great. Now let me, it’s like, they prescribe an action plan. And they’re like, okay, this is what you’re going to do.

Kristen Boss (12:43):  I want you to make five posts this week. And then I want you to do five reach outs. And then I want you to reach out to your customers. And then I want you to also, you know, attend this team, call whatever. They kind of give the, they give the person a to-do list. And then they say, okay, do you think you can do that? And that person’s going to say, yeah, yeah, I could totally do that. And then you might even send a follow-up appointment of like, great. Or you might say something like connect with me when you’ve done that. And how many of you have had this exact exchange change? And then you don’t hear from them again. They totally ghost you. They don’t check back in. And you’re like, I don’t know what happened. I gave her a plan. We talked about the goal.

Kristen Boss (13:22):  She was so on fire. And then she just disappeared. Why the problem is is you didn’t give her any ownership or them in them, any ownership over their own plan, they feel no buy in on the plan because it wasn’t something they created within themselves. It wasn’t something they took full ownership of. It was just somebody handing them a to-do list. And I don’t know about you, but when someone hands me a to-do list, my natural inclination is to rebel and resist against it. So what’s more important is for you to ask them, what are you willing to do? Let’s talk about just like your, your work-life balance. Like how many hours a day do you want to commit to this? What is your plan? Tell me your plan and what you want to put in place. And when they name the terms, now you’re only hold holding them accountable to their own words.

Kristen Boss (14:15):  You, you’re not holding them accountable to your plan. You’re holding them accountable to your plan or to their plan, which is a lot more important. So shut up and ask them, what do you think you want to do? What does this look like for you? What again, why is this important? Okay. Tell me what happens. And you need to know that they’re giving you a plan. They’re giving you a plan from an idealistic, optimistic state of mind. And what I mean by that is they’re thinking of their best days. When they’re giving you a plan, they’re like, well, I’m going to, you know, I’m going to do five reach outs and I’m going to send, you know, three follow-ups and I’m going to do two reels every day. Anyone can say that it’s the doing and the implementing. And so when they’re telling you, this is my plan, they’re not taking into account a bad day.

Kristen Boss (15:07):  They’re not taking into account when they feel like it’s not working, the audience isn’t listening, and the sales aren’t coming in like they should. They’re not accounting for the human factor. They’re not accounting for a negative emotional state because they are in a positive, emotional state. When they’re talking to you, they’re feeling optimistic. They’re feeling hopeful when they talk to you. So it’s very easy to give a plan when you feel hope, hopeful and optimistic, but in reality, they’re going to go out and they’re going to implement and something’s going to happen. And if they are not equipped to still continue to pursue and follow through on their daily action, they’re going to be inconsistent. They’re only going to show up when it feels good. When it feels easy when things are settled down when the kids aren’t crazy and then they’re going to have inconsistent results in their business.

Kristen Boss (15:54):  And they’re going to wonder why. You have to help them see this before you set them out to the action plan. So this is why it’s so important that you establish these things ahead of time. Three-layered deep why, shut up. Both are the most important things. Okay? But here’s, here’s what happens. Here’s what I see happen. As they see, they give someone a plan and they send the leader out and the leader ghost them and the leader immediately resorts to the thought and truly believing it. They believe this is a fact they don’t want it. No, Kristen, you don’t understand. We did a goal planning session and they went out and they did the work and then they’ve disappeared. They don’t want it. And every time I hear that, I always challenge that because I’m like that can’t be true because otherwise they, they wouldn’t have come to you and said those things, you have to dig for why they’re not taking the action.

Kristen Boss (16:51):  It’s what if it’s not that they don’t want it. If they haven’t said to you, I don’t want this. And I’m not doing this. Don’t believe that thought. Because when you believe that stop thought you stop looking for solutions. You stop leading you don’t problem-solve. And you don’t dig for the deeper reason. You don’t find the root cause you don’t find like them taking inaction is a symptom. And you throwing action plans at them is treating a symptom. The root cause is a belief on some level. And it is your job as a leader to figure out what is here, what’s driving this behavior or lack of action. What is, what is what belief is stemming from all of this? So when you label a leader as lazy or it, or they don’t want it, you drop your ability. You lose your leadership with them.

Kristen Boss (17:44):  You do, because it kind of gets you off the hook. Then you don’t have to ask the questions. Then you can kind of say, well, forget them and move on. Now, a lot of times people ask me, well, Kristen, what happens when like, I, I pursue them. How often should we pursue them? And there are a lot of nuances there, but I do think there should always be a plan that they tell you for when the next appointment is when the next conversation. And I do think if there’s a pattern and, and here’s what I do see a lot of leaders do because they’re believing, oh, they don’t want it. Or they earn my time. What happens is, is someone will come to them and say, I’m just really busy right now. Or I’m so distracted. There’s so much going on in life. And because the leaders are too afraid to challenge it, they kind of just say, okay, well I’m here when you need me.

Kristen Boss (18:30):  And what you’re doing when you say that is you’re letting them believe that, oh yeah, that’s a totally a good reason to leave. You’re right. Oh, you, you know what? You should go and refocus on things. And then when you’re less busy come back, but that’s just not never true. There’s no such thing as not being busy in our life. But what you’re doing is enabling the belief like, oh, that’s a good reason to leave. Okay. See you later. Instead of like, Hey, hold up. I remember this was really important for you. And if you’ve gone three layers deep with their why you can mirror that back to them and say, Hey, I just I’m, I’m fighting for what you say you want. And my job as a leader is to help you get there. And I know you said it was really important that you left your job because emotional fulfillment at home was really important to you.

Kristen Boss (19:19):  Help me help you get there. I’m thinking like Jerry McGuire help me help you. Help me help you. So you have to do this with your leaders. And if you’re not reminding them of why they chose this, you’re letting them walk away when it’s hard, because you’re choosing to believe, well, if they wanted it, then they’d be showing up. But listen, I check it in with yourself. There are days you are not showing up for yourself, but it doesn’t mean you don’t want it. It just means you have some beliefs that are getting in the way of your actions. That’s all that’s happened.

Kristen Boss (19:54):  I also want to just caution you when you label some leaders. And this is really important for senior leaders. When you’ve been around for a while and you have a team that’s been around for a while, I’d be very careful with how you label your leaders on your team. Don’t label someone she’s just resistant. She’s kind of a rebel. That’s a rebel leg. That’s well, or well, that leg is really toxic or that person, she just does her own thing. But just notice when you’re saying those things, you’re not saying that from a place of leadership, it’s definitely from a place of maybe frustration or resentment. And you have to explore your stories that you have about your leaders. Cause if you believe someone’s resistant like they’re stubborn and they don’t hear you. Then every conversation you have with them, you find yourself armoring up or building a case to come at them with.

Kristen Boss (20:51):  And notice when you, when someone senses that you have, you’re building a case against them and you’re armored up against them. Of course, they’re going to be resistant to you. You create that experience cause you’re like time to armor up, time to engage with this leader that resists me every time. And then you come to that conversation in that energy because you have a belief about that leader that you’ve been, that you believe to be true. And I just really want to encourage you to work on your stories about the people you lead. What if you were to never believe that they quote don’t want it. What if you stopped believing that someone was dramatic and needy and if you didn’t label that and you explored well, why, why is, why is behavior showing up in this way? What beliefs might be driving that you don’t have to ask them, but get curious with yourself and ask well, and here’s what I want to offer to you.

Kristen Boss (21:47):  This is the most painful part of leadership. This is why most people get stuck in management mode. Cause it’s so easy to tell people what to do. You can tell people all day, but to lead someone, that’s a completely different skill. And this is the skill that is mastered in my mastermind. You learn all of these things and we go deep man. But I just really want to encourage you to kind of get like neutralize your emotional feelings around your leaders. If you’re frustrated, if you’re resentful, if you’re angry, if you’re disappointed, if you are, if you feel like you’ve been wronged or you’re mad, then you’re going to enter into that relationship or that, you know, yeah, I’m going to call relationship. You’re entering into that relationship with that energy. You’re treating that person from that space instead of really getting curious and finding as much compassion as you can.

Kristen Boss (22:46):  For someone. What I really find is most common is a lot of times leaders with certain members of their team. It’s been a while since they got really clear with the goals for their leaders. Like I’ve asked people, I said, well, do you, have you asked that leader what they want? Or are you assuming what they are? Are you super clear? Have you gotten the words out of their mouth? This is what I want. And I’ve even said to someone I’ve just said, Hey if that leader is not taking any action if they’re sitting there and getting ready to get ready over and over again, it’s okay for you to say like, Hey, I don’t want to make any assumptions, but I would like to know it looks like you’re totally okay with your current pay that you don’t want to grow your paycheck, that you want to stay exactly where you are and you want to maintain your paycheck.

Kristen Boss (23:48):  Am I understanding that? Is that correct? And just see what’s going on there because the activity of a team member who wants to maintain their paycheck is very different from someone who wants to grow their paycheck, your income-producing activity looks different when you’re maintaining a paycheck. And when you’re growing a paycheck, you have to understand those nuances and you have to help your team understand those nuances as well. Because if someone is saying, oh no, I want this. I want this so bad. You have to help them. See if they are in paycheck management mode or in paycheck growth mode, you have to help them see that because they might really believe that they’re doing the things to grow their paycheck. And what they’re actually doing is just doing the things to maintain. You have to help them see that, but you have to know that nuance yourself.

Kristen Boss (24:34):  So watch the labels. You give your leaders because once you label them, you cannot lead them. Think about that. Once you label them, you stop leading them. You start telling them what to do, talking at them, getting mad at them, giving them like, the cold shoulder, giving them the silent treatment. When you come around. That’s when you get my time, it’s okay to stop giving time from a loving place, from a compassionate place. That’s totally fine. I’m not saying, you know, always be chasing senior people and always be, you know, having those long-winded conversations. I’m not saying that I’m saying to create conversations around curiosity and compassion instead of disappointment, frustration, and resentment. And I really want you to get clear with yourself. Have I been leading from frustration and resentment? Have I been telling myself stories about these leaders that doesn’t serve me or them?

Kristen Boss (25:32):  And have you made their inaction or inaction as your team members mean something about your leadership? Are you weaponizing their behavior against yourself? Oh look, they’re not doing the things. I must not be a good leader. I’m a bad leader. And then you sit there and you shame yourself and you feel UN and then you hide, you stop showing up to team calls. You don’t lead team calls. They’re inconsistent. Everything. You take everything. Very personally. Leadership feels very triggering for you because it feels like everything your team does or not does feel personal. If it feels personal, you have stories that are not serving you.

Kristen Boss (26:20):  If you feel personally offended by the behavior of someone on your team, you need to really check in with the stories you tell yourself, are there unmet expectations that have not been communicated or spoken? There are expectations and there are standards of excellence. And there are two different things. Expectations are almost always silent and unspoken. And that’s where we’re using language. Like they should know better. They should be doing this. They should see this. I don’t get why they don’t see this. There’s a lot of should. Language expectations live in the world of should. That person should know that person should do this. Where the standards of excellence are I can help them see this. I can help them do this. What do I need to teach them in order for them to value this as well? This is the question and conversation of someone who’s a leader and I get it. There are times, especially if you’ve been in this industry a while and you might be burnt out. Maybe you’re just tired of leading. The only way, the only reason you are tired of leading is because of the emotional experience you are creating for yourself around your leadership.

Kristen Boss (27:42):  I’m going to say that again. The only reason you are tired is because of the, you are creating for yourself as a leader. No one can make you feel disappointed. No one can make you feel frustrated. No one can make you feel resentful. It is only your, the stories you’re believing about somebody that creates those emotions in you, and you have 100% ownership over the stories you tell and the feelings you feel, and the actions you take. And therefore the results that are created from those things, the stories you tell, the feelings, you feel the action or inactions you take, always create the results that are right there in front of you. And the most painful part of leadership is owning. All of it is really owning it. Oh, that person keeps making promises and never showing up or they’re inconsistent. They don’t show up to the team calls and it’s so easy to point the finger and say, they don’t want it.

Kristen Boss (28:40):  They’re not a good leader. They don’t have what it takes. I need to go find somebody else. Instead of the really painful ownership of sitting with sitting there and asking what in my leadership has created or enabled this behavior to be okay. And you can only ask yourself that question. When you have a lot of self-compassion for both yourself and your team, and you’re curious, and you’re doing it from a loving place, like how can I help this person get what they want in life? And if it’s, if it’s about me helping that person get what they want, then I’m willing to own what I need to own. Where have I created this as a leader? How have I enabled this? What stories have I been telling myself? What conversations do I refuse to have? What questions do I refuse to ask because I don’t like feeling uncomfortable?

Kristen Boss (29:34):  Leadership is never comfortable. I said this in a social selling academy call. I think it was like a month ago. And I said, listen, if you’re comfortable, you are not leading period. If you’re comfortable, you’re not leading. And if you’re leading, you’re uncomfortable all the time, you have to be willing to say the things your team needs to hear more than they want to hear. So I oftentimes see leaders vacillate between the two places. Like I’m going to tell them what they need to hear, but it’s delivered from the frustration, the resentment and the disappointment of like, you should be right. I’m going to tell them what they need to hear, but it’s not from love. And then there’s the person that doesn’t want to hold any standards because they’re afraid of discomfort. They’re afraid of what the team’s going to think of them. They’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings. They’re that someone’s going to misunderstand them. So they avoid all the hard. They say nothing that they need to hear. And they only tell the team what they want to hear. And then all then the team culture you have is a kumbaya. Everybody sit around and we’re going to just have, you know, team calls that feel like church. And then, I mean, that’s nice, but you can go to church on Sundays. Your team calls should be business. Surprise! They should be business. Things should be getting done.

Kristen Boss (30:53):  If you’re, if you’re wrapped up like if there’s people-pleasing, wrapped up in your leadership, then you’re never saying what needs to be said. You’re only saying things to make people feel better, but they didn’t join you and pay monthly for their products or whatever. They didn’t join this business model for someone to just pat them on the back and say, it’s okay. Just when, when things get better, come back. When you come back, well, I’ll be here waiting. They didn’t come to you for backpacks. They came to you for leadership came to you because they don’t know how to get to where they want to be. And your job as a leader is to show them and walk alongside them. They also didn’t join to feel mothered, to feel micromanaged, to feel like someone’s breathing over their shoulder. Like, Hey, did you do that? Did you, how’d that go?

Kristen Boss (31:48):  How was your post? Did you turn in your post? Everybody! Everybody! Check-in everybody. Oh, I’m just checking in again. Fifth time today. Just checking in. Hey, just checking in. Like they didn’t join for that either. Ask yourself, how do you want to be led? I really believe in my Academy, like they know, they know I lead from a, a very firm, but very loving place. There are very firm boundaries in place in the academy, all for the sake of the growth of my students. And I tell them, you’re going to feel uncomfortable here. And I’m totally okay with you experiencing discomfort as a coach. Like I’m totally okay with that. And I’ll hold that space for you and will work through that discomfort. But I’m not here to enable you. I am here to empower you. And that is a very different thing.

Kristen Boss (32:37):  So I want you to evaluate the stories you tell yourself about the people you lead today. Are you leading from a place of frustration because there are unmet expectations? Or are you leading from a place of love and curiosity and compassion towards standards of excellence to help them accomplish what they say they want? I want to encourage you to evaluate that today. And if you’re like Kristen, I need this help. I need to figure out how to be the leader that inspires people to take action that inspires people to be self-led. Then you belong in my mastermind. Your leadership will take a 180 pivot. You will not be recognized. Your family won’t recognize you. Your team won’t recognize you in the best way. Literally, people will come home from the event. And the team says I don’t know where you just were, but you are a completely different person. This is what happens, and this is why you should join. Otherwise, if you’re not a six or seven-figure earner, you kind of know your work, explore your stories. We also offer this work inside the Academy. We’ll see you next episode, friends serve well.

Kristen Boss (33:44):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you loved today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the Academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or have been in the industry for a while, this is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to to learn more.

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