Leadership Confidence with Ali, Kaitlin, and Brittany Episode #56

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This week on the podcast, join Kristen as she welcomes three students from the Purpose and Profit 6 Figure Earner Mastermind. Ali, Kaitlin, and Brittany all came to network marketing around the same time. And while they all traveled different paths to reach success, they had one thing in common. Not feeling confident in their roles as leaders.

This week on the podcast, join Kristen as she welcomes three students from the Purpose and Profit 6 Figure Earner Mastermind. Ali, Kaitlin, and Brittany all came to network marketing around the same time. And while they all traveled different paths to reach success, they had one thing in common. Not feeling confident in their roles as leaders.

Listen in as they talk candidly with Kristen about the power of confidence in leadership and what lacking that confidence can look like. Here are a few things they discuss in today’s episode:

  • The importance of staying consistent in your leadership regardless of negative feedback
  • How learning to take radical ownership can trickle down to your team
  • Stepping into your leadership role and the effects it can have on your personal life
  • Why being uncomfortable is important to growth and creativity
  • The benefits of ditching the 30 day goal mindset in favor of a true long term plan 
  • How to avoid leadership fatigue by switching from managing to mentoring your team

Like success, confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and consistency to build that muscle. The first step is believing that you are worthy and deserving of the success you’ve built. 

If you’re interested in following Ali, Kaitlin, and Brittany on Instagram, you can check out their profiles below:

Ali Holt encourages busy moms to confidently raise families AND build big businesses

Find Kaitlin Norton for her time blocking tips for work from home moms.

Brittany Duncan shares how to balance building a 6-figure business while still finding time to get dinner on the table.

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here

Transcripts for Episode 56: Leadership Confidence with Ali, Kaitlin, and Brittany

Kristen Boss (00:00:05):
Hey, happy Monday boss babes. Actually. I’ve never said boss babes. Hey bosses. Welcome to another Monday. Glad you’re here. I have a really fun and special episode planned for you today. I have three special guests with me on this episode, and I think you are going to get so much value from the conversation. You’re about to hear specifically about a certain season in the social selling business, specifically the six figure earner season. And what we’re going to be really talking about today is leadership and confidence because we have an idea of what we think it’s going to take when we get there. And then there’s the reality of being there and the lessons that are available for you as a leader. So with me, I have Kaitlin, Ali and Brittany. They all are in the Purpose and Profit Six- Figure earner mastermind. And I have asked them to come on today to talk a little bit about their own leadership journey, their transformation, and specifically talking about leadership confidence, because I do think it is something that comes up quite a bit.
Kristen Boss (00:01:09):
It comes up in the academy. It’s something we’re constantly talking about in the mastermind. And I just think you all are going to really get a lot of value from what these women have to share today. What’s interesting is they’re all from the same company. I didn’t plan it that way. I just thought, you know, oh, who do I want to come on and talk about leadership and competence. And these three ladies came to mind, so we’re going to go around there with me on zoom. So it’s super fun to see them all right now, and we’re going to go around and I would love for each of you just to do a little intro on yourself, how long you’ve been in this industry, what brought you to the industry? And, yeah, we’ll just start there. We’ll go around. We’ll start with you Kaitlin.
Kristen Boss (00:01:52):
All right. Hello. Thank you so much. So I have been with my company for four and a half years. Now. This is the first time I have ever been with a social selling company and it has been an extremely fun and wild ride so far. It was about four and a half years ago when I when I had heard about the company that I’m with, it looked like what would be a good, fun opportunity to, to just get to know people to sell a product that I had fallen in love with, then it, that I saw it. And what I didn’t realize is that company and that opportunity and me saying yes to that would turn into what it is today. Two and a half years into my business, we were able to walk away from the corporate world comfortably knowing that my husband could start up his own his own thing and run with that.
Kristen Boss (00:02:40):
He’s always wanted to do that. And and I didn’t realize that when I said yes, four and a half years ago, that it would look like us being completely like entrepreneurs completely self-employed and it has been an amazing journey. I have learned so much about myself, have learned so much how to show up in my true self. I have learned to show up more confident in not only my business, but in myself as a mom and myself as a wife, myself as a friend. And it has been extremely fun to be able to to not only me notice that change, but other people around me, not just the shift that this opportunity and this industry has caused in me.
New Speaker (00:03:21):
I love that so much. And you’re kind of our dancing queen with your reels. I love that so much. I do love a good rail. All right, Ali.
Ali Holt (00:03:31):
Good morning. Thanks for having us. Okay. So I have also been in the social selling industry for just about four years. When I joined, I actually wasn’t looking for any sort of extra work or anything extra on my plate. I had three little boys under the age of seven when I started this, so I was busy. But I always loved apparel. And when I found this company, I was really excited about basically at the time, just getting some stuff for a big discount. So when I joined, like I said, I wasn’t really looking to add anything else to my plate, but it sounded fun. And for me, the business grew very organically and very quickly, and it soon started to become something much bigger than I could ever anticipate. It was exciting, but also really scary because I had never had any previous experience in the industry.
Ali Holt (00:04:26):
And so running a large team was something that was really foreign to me. And a lot of what I learned up until this point was just kind of trial and error. So you know, getting to where I am today has been, like Caitlin said a very wild ride a huge blessing, but also, you know, coming to a point in business where I realized I needed help and I needed some more direction. And so I’m here landed in Kristen’s lap somehow. And, you know, just my leadership has grown immensely just over the past four or five months with my confidence and the skillsets that I’ve learned and really changing and managing my expectations of this kind of business. So thanks for having me.
Kristen Boss (00:05:16):
Yeah, that’s so good, Ali. Thanks. Brittany:
Brittany Duncan (00:05:17):
All right. So hello. I joined our company four and a half years ago. Brand new to direct sales. My background, I was an ICU nurse. When I joined, we had four kids, six and under, so I was kind of like Ali, I definitely was not looking for anything. I love nursing. It’s where my heart was. We all still were self-employed my husband and I at that point. So I have, I think a unique perspective in traditional business and then a non traditional, like social selling business. A lot of those pieces as I was growing, my husband was able to like, you know, bring me with the traditional business path and kind of like, no, this is how you do this and that. So like Ali said, like it just kind of grew organically and it definitely grew in a way that I was not anticipating.
Brittany Duncan (00:06:09):
I was here for the discount. I love the product. And I think I was just so excited. I was sharing with people and it was growing into a business and I actually sought out Kristen once upon a time she did one-on-one coaching and I was struggling with leadership and confidence in my leadership. My business really had grown. Like, I dunno, like over a hundred percent, you know, it was a huge growth in a matter of like six months. And I just felt like I wasn’t worthy of the team that I had. And so that’s actually why I reached out to Kristen. I needed coaching on that. And very quickly I felt like within four weeks I basically had found myself again and found my footing and my confidence in leadership, but it was something I wasn’t anticipating. I thought that I would just grow along with my team and that wasn’t the case for me.
Brittany Duncan (00:06:55):
I felt like my team outgrew me and I really had to come into a space of owning that leadership. And it’s been awesome since then. Like then it got fun again, once I found that confidence, but that little place where I was not confident in my leadership was really a terrible place. It was not fun and enjoyable and it was hard. So to claw my way out of that and get back to a place of peace and where business was good again, like, yeah, it’s just, it’s been great.
Kristen Boss (00:07:43):
I love that. I so appreciate how vulnerable you’re being and sharing that you felt like unworthy of a team that grew really like a hundred percent in six months and it grew rapidly. And, and just the thought you had, like, my team has outgrown me and my leadership and, you know, this is kind of like the leadership lid and realizing that, oh, I found my lid. I’m aware of it and the pain that that can create as a leader. So that’s a little bit about like Brittany and how she came to this acute awareness of needing that growth in her leadership. And yeah, it was once upon a time when I was still offering one-on-one Brittany found me and I won’t talk about you coming to the mastermind because that was another area of like, you really just trusting yourself and leadership and decision-making, and, and I think you’ll be able to offer something really valuable if someone’s like, no, I need one-on-one. I need my hand held all the time. And actually, you know what I, I think I want to start there a little bit is, you know, I think it’s very easy to think. I need a lot of hand-holding, especially if you’re in a place where you are lacking in leadership confidence, and you feel like I really need someone to help me.
Kristen Boss (00:08:31):
And then being put into a container with 25 other six figure earners from many companies, we’re all making different incomes with different team sizes. And it can be really intimidating at first because you’re in a container and compare and despair can easily creep up on you, but it is the container that offers you the most growth, maybe at the most highest levels of discomfort. So I would love to know what you noticed about your, what you noticed about yourself and your leadership being in a container and Brittany, I think you might even be able to speak to this the most clearly because you were with me privately for about three months before you shifted into a group setting. So what did you notice about yourself when you were dropped in the container? And you could tell my audience a little bit about you coming into the group, because I think it’s fun and I love that in our story.
Brittany Duncan (00:09:25):
Okay. So yes, I was very happy with where Kristen and I were at in our one-on-one. And so when she let me know that she’s like, Hey, this is what I’m doing. I’m doing a mastermind. I was really, I was upset because I was happy with the growth that I was seeing. And I was honest with her and let her know, like, I wasn’t thrilled with that. And she, I remember you saying like, you need to trust me, you’re going to get so much more from this. Now, one thing I think that people always assume a six-figure leader, like, has it altogether, like we know it, we’re confident we know what our, what we’re doing, and that is not the case, especially as you’re coming into it. And so to, to feel that vulnerability and feel like I was finally finding what I was looking for and then to have it shift like, okay, well now here is 25 other women.
Brittany Duncan (00:10:10):
And I still, as a six figure, earner was like, they all know what they’re doing. And I don’t, so here’s me little old me and all these other women, six and seven figure. Right. They totally know what they’re doing. And so yes, there was some big chats with Kristen and I, some very honest, raw chats of, you know, like, you know, her kind of not pushing me, but just guiding me like, no, I truly think this is the best thing for you and me trusting. Like she was saying, just trusting in what it was that I could learn from other women who were in this sphere along with Kristen. It was, it was a very uncomfortable setting. And I also didn’t have my husband’s always supportive, but this was one he’s like, Hmm, I don’t know about this one. And he just let me make my own decision, but that also felt like it was lonely.
Brittany Duncan (00:10:59):
It was a lonely place to be and to think, okay, I’m going to put X amount down, you know, into this and a lot of money and just trust where it was going to take me. And it was the best decision. I mean, I loved working one-on-one with Kristen, but also there’s so much power in collaboration. Like you can’t even put a number on it, just collaborating and learning from other women in this space.
New Speaker (00:11:22):
I love that so much. Ali, I want to hear a little bit about kind of where you noticed your lid was and your leadership, because what’s interesting is this is your, for all of you, this is your first social selling business. And at least for Ali and Brittany, you guys said like, oh, there was really quick and rapid growth. And I think the thought I see most six figure earners entertaining, and that plays is they almost feel like they stumbled into their leadership or it happened to them or it’s accidental or it’s rapid like, oh crap. How did I get here? And that’s where I think a lot of that imposter syndrome comes or that feeling of unworthiness like, oh, I like a thousand people showed up what I feel overnight. What do I do? So Ali, I’d love to know, like when you became aware of your leadership lid and what kind of made you realize, I need a shift here.
Ali Holt (00:12:18):
So this actually happened at the beginning of this year. I hosted an opportunity call for my team and this is going to feel super vulnerable, vulnerable. Two people showed up and at that moment, I, my kids, so my kids were knocking on my closet door and they’re like, mom, come kiss me goodnight. We want, we want you to come give us a kiss. Goodnight. And at that moment, as I’m sitting there and two people were on my call and my kids are like needing me. I just had this moment where I was like, I need to change like this. I need my priorities in check. I’m earning this incredible income. And yet here I am like, you know, trying to do all the things for my team and doing all these things and not feeling super valued. And I just knew that I needed someone to guide me.
Ali Holt (00:13:02):
Maybe I was doing something wrong, maybe it was my fault. You know, the things that we always say, like, you know, maybe it’s me, maybe I’m not a good enough leader. And so that was kind of where it started is I just felt like I didn’t have my priorities straight and there were my priorities straight and there was no way that I was going to be able to lead a team. If I didn’t have my ducks in a row, there was no way I was going to be able to create leaders. There was no way I was going to be able to create belief that culture of belief in what I was offering to my team, if I didn’t know what I was doing. And so that’s really where it started for me. And I loved in our mastermind when we met the first day, the first thing we did when we sat down Kristen had us write down our three-year plan and I had never, ever thought to think of my business in the long game.
Ali Holt (00:13:53):
I had always been working on the 30 day hustle. It was the 30 day mindset where it was, what can I do this month to help me reach this rank or help this girl hit her rank. But it was never, you know, okay, I’m going to sit down with this girl and see what her one-year plan is or her three-year plan. I’ve never certainly considered my three-year plan. And so that was when I knew, like this is where I’m supposed to be. Like, I want to know how I can best serve my family first, make sure that they’re my priority, but also show up as an incredible leader to this team that I know I deserved because I didn’t get here by accident, but I also need to know how to manage this kind of this kind of team. So that’s really where kind of the lid popped for me and just sitting down and, and realizing that, Hey, this is a business and I need to have a CEO mindset. That’s something that Kristen has really drilled into us is you’re a CEO of a business. You’re a, six-figure earner. This isn’t just fun and games anymore. It is fun, but it’s, it’s time to take it seriously, too. And to have priorities in place and to delegate the things that don’t bring you joy and to make sure that you’re doing everything out of intention instead of reaction. So that’s really what started it for me.
Kristen Boss (00:15:12):
So good Ali, I really love how you were saying learning to come out of the 30 day mindset. And we’re going to revisit that because I feel like that is a massive shift to make as a leader when you’re moving from, you know, because in the early phases of your business, that is kind of how you’re working. You’re, you’re just thinking, okay, how many parties do I need to close this month? Or how many sales or how many builders do I need to bring on? And it’s very easy to stay in that short term mindset and learning to switch to a long term vision is quite a shift to make. And it’s one that is constantly being revisited in the mastermind and working on because it, it, it feels like you’re slowing down. It feels very uncomfortable to do that. So we’re going to revisit that because I’ll be very curious how you all have noticed that shift for yourselves and really putting on your long-term vision as a leader.
Kristen Boss (00:16:00):
Kaitlin, I want to know a little bit about your story with your leadership pain. Cause I know that there was a season where I think you almost quit. You almost walked away. So tell our listeners a little bit about when you realized you were your leadership lid was there and something needed to change.
Kaitlin Norton (00:16:17):
So one thing that you guys have probably heard Kristen talk about a ton is resistance. And that is exactly what we felt. For the six months before I was going to quit my business. So my husband had just lost his job. We, I had four kids under the age of six. I saw I had, my baby was six months old. It was getting super hard. We had decided, instead of him taking a corporate position, that we were going to start up our own company. And I was making like, okay, money then, but not a six figure income.
Kaitlin Norton (00:16:48):
And I was like, Kay, that’s it like I have to quit. There’s no way that I can support a husband and starting up his own job. There’s no way I can support four young kids. And this is what I’m going to do. So I had made my mind, if I had told, like I had talked myself through it and I was like, Kevin, I present this to my husband. And I told him, listen, I’m going to quit this business. I think it’s the right thing for me. And I had thought about it for an entire month and he’s like, Kaitlin, you’re not going to quit. And I was like, but I can’t do it. And I named all the things that I wasn’t good at. And he’s like, there’s no way you’re going to be successful at this business if you think that way.
Kaitlin Norton (00:17:17):
And he’s like, and no matter what, I, no matter what anybody else tells you, if you don’t believe that yourself, then you won’t be successful. And so he’s like, I want you to think about that for a minute. I don’t think you should quit, but this has to do with 100% your choice. And so I had asked a few leaders that were, that had started when I started and I asked them like, how have you found success? And every one of them talked about positive affirmations and, and like positive thinking. And I was like, that doesn’t work. And then I’d asked the next girl and same thing. They would say the same thing to me. Now you just have to like, you know, be a positive about it, have positive affirmations. And so I was like, okay, well, five different girls told me that these positive affirmations work, so I’m going to try it out.
Kaitlin Norton (00:17:56):
So I wrote down exactly what I wanted to be in a leader, what I wanted to be in a person, what I wanted to be and in a mom, a wife but specifically business-wise well, I want it to be, and I would read those things to myself every single day. So this, this was before I was a six figure earner. So it took me about two months to 100% believe and have the confidence in myself and choose to be enough instead of feeling like I was not, or having somebody else telling me that I was enough. And I had to show up as the leader that I wanted to be before I was actually that leader. And it took me an entire year and a half of showing up as that person, before my business took off, like it did in 2020. And so I feel like I had already become confident.
Kaitlin Norton (00:18:41):
So when my business did explode, like it did, I already was in that leadership position that I wanted to be in. And it didn’t take my team growing or becoming what I wanted it to be. And then me becoming that leader first I had to, or becoming a leader after I had to become a leader first, and then it, it happened for me. So so yeah, I, I mean, I didn’t quit. I worked hard. I put my head down for a good year and a half, two years and, and I did did the work and I’m here today in the mastermind for me. It solidified my confidence. I wouldn’t say it that I, I was 100% confident in stepping into it, but what it did for me is it gave me a reason. It gave me an excuse and it gave me the like self-esteem, I needed to 100% be confident in who I am as a leader who I am as like as a rep, as a person. Um, and just as like, as a person in general, it helps solidify that confidence for me.
Kristen Boss (00:19:35):
Yeah. I love that so much. Kaitlin. And I really love that. You said you decided to step into all the qualities of that leader before the team showed up. And most people keep looking to their present circumstances to inform how they should feel about themselves, how they should feel about their leadership and all step into being that leader. When I see that big team or I’ll step in to that leadership position or I’ll, you know, I’ll figure it out when I get there, but you actually have to start being that now, before the team shows up. And I really appreciate that. You said that you showed up for 18 months that way before the quote, overnight momentum, like, you know, people can look at that and think it was an overnight success, but I love that your story is like, no for 18 months, like I was on the verge of quitting.
Kristen Boss (00:20:26):
And then I decided to show up for the team I knew was going to be coming. And you stepped into the leadership position before the team showed up, which you know, what that did. And like you said, is when the team came there, like, it was almost like, oh, of course this team, this is the team I’ve been working for for 18 months. They’re here now. And this feels really solid for me. So I, I love that so much. I, I want to hear from each of you when it comes to your leadership or your confidence, or just in how you see yourself and this industry, I would love to know what has specifically changed about like, what change you’ve noticed in yourself and what changes you’ve seen in your team since you have joined the mastermind, we’ll start, we’ll go back to you, Kaitlin.
Kaitlin Norton (00:21:12):
So the change that I’ve specifically seen in myself is I just feel like I can, 100% like own who I am. I have been a people pleaser my entire life. I almost feel like I was like a chameleon, like, okay, who like, what does this group see me as? And what does this group see me as? And what business group see me as, and after joining the mastermind, I feel like I, 100% enemy. And if you like me, if I’m for you then awesome. If I’m not for you to not fine too, but this is who I am. And, and I’m going to show up as this person continually because, because that’s who I am, and I’m going to own who I am 100%. As far as my team goes, I have noticed multiple or not notice. I have had multiple people telling me that they’ve noticed the change in me since joining the mastermind.
Kaitlin Norton (00:21:57):
And I think what that is for me is I have not only a group of 25 women who are cheering me on, I have a freaking awesome coach, two believes in me and who pumps me up. And it just, you like solidify, you solidify who I am and having you in my court and, and knowing that you believe in me, and you have the confidence in me to be part of this mastermind has helped me have the, like, I guess the confidence going, I keep using that word, but I have the confidence to continue to show up that way, because I mean, let’s all be honest. Like, yeah, you can be 100% who you are most of the time, but there, there’s a little bit of a doubt that sticks in your mind. Sometimes when you get those negative comments on Instagram or negative comments from a friend or family member who, you know, but just knowing that I have these 25 women who love and support me as me and a coach who was rooting for me and is in my corner, has helped me be the leader that I want to be the woman. I want to be the wife that I want to be.
Kristen Boss (00:22:52):
I love that so much. And also, you know what? We get negative comments from our audience and Instagram people. But I think what really comes in leadership too, is that sometimes you get negative comments from your team. Sometimes you get negative feedback from the people that you serve, and that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. This is, this is literally the pain of leadership is that people are going to tell you when they think you’re not leading, right. They’re going to tell you when they want more from you. And that really is like the tension as a leader is like, how much do I give? What is the healthy balance of leadership? And sometimes you have to really navigate a team member who has certain thoughts about your leadership, or wants to do things a different way.
Kristen Boss (00:23:35):
This is like the, that is the pain of leadership. And I love, and this, we talk about this a lot in the mastermind too, is you end up problem-solving and coming to a safe place, realizing how do I solve for this particular leadership issue in the team, or with this particular downline or with this leg, and really learning to solve from that in a really confident place. So, you know, it’s not just, it’s not just negative thoughts from people we don’t know. Sometimes I think the hardest part of leadership is hearing feedback from the very people we serve when they’re not happy and learning to still be confident in your leadership, even when not everyone is on board with the vision, because it, that does happen. And that is where you really have to stand in your truth as a leader, and really go back to the longterm vision.
Kristen Boss (00:24:19):
Like this is the vision, this is where the team is going. And this is, you know, this is what I have for us. And being willing to have some negative criticism or feedback, which I, I don’t think, you know, everyone is necessarily prepared for every time being like, wait, what, not everyone on my team likes this. Not everyone on my team is on board. Not everyone on my team agrees with me and still feeling, choosing to feel certain in your leadership, despite having some people who might not be on board, because here’s what I noticed is sometimes I see six figure earners. I love Kaitlin that you mentioned, like stepping out of your people, pleasing tendency, and you cannot have people pleasing be running your team, because if you do that, you are constantly at the mercy of the opinions and thoughts of others and constantly.
Kristen Boss (00:25:04):
And that’s when I see leaders constantly changing, changing their systems all the time, changing, like, and not from a place of you know, evaluating like the evaluation process that you guys use in the mastermind, but from a place of, oh, that person’s unhappy, I’m going to change the call to make that one person happy. Then they hear a feedback from another downline or sideline being like, oh, that person’s not happy. And what they do is they keep changing the circumstance or they keep changing their strategies. Only creating more confusion, both on the team level and with themselves as a leader. So that is so important for you to have that confidence so that you can stand firmly. And like, this is the vision and learning to have really healthy communication with your team. I think that’s a huge one that we are also talking about as well. Ali, I’d love to hear from you. Like, what have you seen in yourself and particularly with your team since you have joined the masterminded stepped into your leadership.
Ali Holt (00:25:59):
So for me, I feel like my biggest, my biggest takeaway has probably been just my ability to coach my team from a place of calm and peace. I kind of talked about intention before and I feel like kind of everything I did before, this was just like flying by the seat of my pants. Like, well, I hope that we hit our rank, you know, and I hope that this happens and I kind of just wishing and crossing my fingers and hoping everything goes but really taking on that CEO mindset, but also doing it from a place of calm, knowing that it doesn’t matter if it happens immediately. It doesn’t matter if it happens in a month or three months from now, but eventually it will happen, whatever that looks like it will happen. And just knowing that it’s okay, like there is no race, there’s no end to this.
Ali Holt (00:26:46):
And so you can do it from a place of calm, whether that’s, you know, going for a rank or helping someone on your team or pushing for, you know, a certain paycheck, something like that. But also I feel like it’s also helped me coach my team on the thoughts versus the actions. And that was something that was really huge. With our company, we tend to do these trainings for each other’s teams and it’s always, always been about the action. This is what I’ve done. This is what works for me. This is how you do it. It’s, I’ve always been someone who’s trained on the action. And so changing that style of coaching to we’re going to actually train you on the thought, like, how does that make you feel? How do you want it to make you feel and changing, changing it from an action line to actually teaching my girls or my guys on the team you know, how do you want, how do you want this to look for you?
Ali Holt (00:27:42):
And they’re actually coming up with their own plans. And it’s interesting when you see that shift, if, if they don’t hit their goal, it’s because they didn’t put the work into the plan that they created. It wasn’t something that I created and mastered and gave them. They actually came up with that plan on their own, and they’re implementing their own thoughts and their own actions. I’m just providing them with the thought, and then they’re coming up with the action. So learning that, learning the model, learning this whole new way of coaching. I actually had, I had a monthly team call with my top leaders and I used to do a training every single month. And I would ask them what they want to training on. And it was typically something like recruiting or how to have better parties. And for me, that was a trigger.
Ali Holt (00:28:25):
I didn’t like sitting down and saying, okay, guys, we’re going to talk about recruiting again today because it’s the same training over and over. They know how to recruit. They’ve been given the tools. And so now we’re coaching from a place of calm and we’re coming on and we’re saying, okay, bring me your problems. Let’s talk about why you feel this way. And, and what do you think you need to do to be better at, at recruiting or what can you do to have a better thought about why you feel like this is the way it is and having them come up with their own solutions and having it more of a discussion has changed the vibe on our teams so much. They are, they are now put into their own container where they are coaching each other. They are learning from each other and I’m learning from my team too.
Ali Holt (00:29:08):
And so it doesn’t feel like me being a lecture or, you know, me thinking that I know everything because I don’t know everything, but I also know that I have value in these people on my team and they can provide that value to each other, just like this mastermind has provided these 25 women to share their value because we all have different skills and different strengths that we can bring to this container. And when we share those, we all grow together. There’s something very, very unique about container. And so I’ve been able to implement the container into my team where they’re sharing, they’re teaching each other, and it’s been incredible to see that shift change. And like Kaitlin said, I actually had someone messaged me this morning and say, Ali, your leadership has just changed. Like we just see it in you. And it’s amazing. And it feels good and it feels authentic. Thank you so much for doing this for us. It’s such a refreshing feeling. And so just being continuously validated from the team members and just feeling that it’s, it is trickling down. It’s a slow trickle, but it’s starting to work and you can see the industry it’s, it’s going to change. And that’s what we’re here for.
Kristen Boss (00:30:15):
I love that so much. And I love that. You talked about switching from constantly telling your team what to do all the time. And this is where I, this is where I see leadership fatigue. This is where I see six figure earners getting burnt out and they start feeling resentful and their team starts feeling heavy and burdensome because, you know, and I, and I get it sometimes as a mom, I’m like, how many times do I have to tell my kids to do the same thing over and over again? And this is when people feel like they’re, they’re mothering or babysitting their team. And that is not how we want it to feel with the people that have chosen this business, right? You just you’re like, no, I want to pour into them. I want a mentorship feeling, not a management feeling, managing someone’s behaviors is very exhausting.
Kristen Boss (00:31:01):
Like when you’re constantly managing someone’s behavior or trying to change the behavior, you’re really dressing, just trying to manage symptoms instead of getting to the cause. And like, how is this person thinking, what are their roadblocks? What are the stories that they’re telling themselves? And it’s a lot more free and as a leader and especially for your team. And I love that. What you’ve said is you’ve handed them ownership of their actions. Again, instead of Ali told me to do this, or my leader told me to do this. And it’s so interesting. Sometimes when we get told to do something, we have more resistance than if it’s our own ownership and I desire to do this. And these are the actions I’m going to take. And what it does is it gives ownership and it also empowers your team again, because it helps them see, I can create my results.
Kristen Boss (00:31:48):
I can show up and do these things. And I, it is a shift because I can’t tell you how many times trainings are just about, you know, this is what to do. This is what to do. This is what to do. And there, there definitely is a place and a time for that to give people skillsets. But if you, and I think every, every leader of any type of team that’s listening needs to hear, and my constantly telling my people what to do all the time and just getting frustrated when they don’t do anything. And I think what’s really interesting is we’ve talked about this a little is you notice, you’ll notice that that’s the culture you’ve created like this. Tell me what to do, mentality on a team. And I think the shift I’ve noticed it, and most people in the mastermind is they they’re finally creating a team that is learning to take their own action.
Kristen Boss (00:32:38):
And they’re not up with so much, like, just give me a list, tell me what to do with, like, you already know what to do. It’s right here. And giving that it’s a different feeling. And what’s interesting from that is you. I think you guys are even noticing that in the mastermind is like, you cannot come to the mastermind with tell me what to do like that, that will not take place far. Right? I mean, I think you all can agree with that being like, you cannot come to the mastermind being like, Kristen’s going to tell me every single little thing I need to do. She’s going to hand me a little checklist and she’s going to give me a little manual. I mean, you all are given a really thick book to help guide what all the processes and the, and the systems in your business to kind of have a clear idea of where you need to be focusing things.
Kristen Boss (00:33:18):
But anytime we’re in the, tell me what to do energy, we give all of our power away instead of forcing our brain to creatively think and problem solve in our own mind. Because as soon as you know, your downline comes to you and says, just tell me what to do. They are not growing they’re, they’re not growing they’re problem-solving muscle. And it actually creates a very codependent energy with the downline and the leader. And that is a huge thing to break free from, because if you want time, freedom, and if, and that’s it, that’s why you signed up for this business. And we talk about this a lot in the business, and we’ll probably circle back to this, to this too, is if you want time, freedom, you have to be able to have healthy boundaries with a team that also respects your time. And if your team doesn’t respect your time, it’s because you haven’t taught them how, or you haven’t, you don’t respect your own time.
Kristen Boss (00:34:08):
And that is, that’s a real leadership area of growth. I see a lot of people needing to step into and Ali, I really love just how honest you were. Like, it’s, it’s a trickle down effect. It’s not an overnight change. Changing. The entire culture of an, of an organization does not happen that quickly. And that’s partly why when people sign, I say, you need to really think about being with me for a year because the first six months is so much leadership, pain and unlearning and relearning and programming your 30 day mindset learning to coach your team, instead of manage your team, stepping into the CEO mindset. And typically, you know, that takes some time to shift an entire organization because you’re no longer thinking about what’s my personal volume numbers. You’re thinking about the collective organization of numbers, you know, and so for large companies, they don’t look for overnight change.
Kristen Boss (00:35:00):
And that’s part of the CEO mindset as well. Brittany, I’d love to hear a little bit about the change you’ve seen in yourself and what you’ve seen in your team since, you know, working on your leadership, right?
Brittany Duncan (00:35:11):
So I am going to be a little bit different in that the changes in myself I’ve seen are actually way more personal than they are as a leader. I am really big on we’ll keep it. G-Rated. I don’t think that balance is baloney. I think you, a thousand percent can have about life balance and business balance. And I’m really, that’s something that’s very important to me. I was a homeschool mom. I don’t know if I will be this next year. We’ll see. But in, in leading a big business and homeschooling three kids, like that was something that was super important to me. So as I stepped into confidence in my leadership, it was so much more than that.
Brittany Duncan (00:35:46):
It was confidence as a wife. It was confidence as a mom, as a friend being so comfortable with who I am and just really owning that. Like I own a big business and I run a big business and that’s awesome. And I can still be a great mom and run this big business. That was something I really struggled with just that in just the idea that it was them or a business. And so to be able to join that and to marry that and be a really successful mom, wife and business owner, for me, that, that’s what the mastermind was like. That’s what stepping into my leadership really was for me. Yeah, like it’ll bring me to tears if I talk too much about it. But I think that that confidence is it’s so sexy. Like confidence is sexy and maybe that’s a terrible word for it, but people want to come.
Brittany Duncan (00:36:34):
And so with my team, I’ve noticed it’s not even me so much leading anymore. It’s like, we’re going together. So maybe I’m one step ahead, but it’s more than just my mindset of like, okay, I’ve got to tell them what to do. Like Ali was saying, it’s not even that anymore. It’s not me telling them, okay guys, here’s the secrets. Here’s the three secret things you gotta do. It’s more like, okay, this is what we’re doing. Who wants to come? And we want to follow people who know what they’re doing and know where they’re going and not even so much know what they’re doing, but willing to learn what to do. And so, as we, as leaders are able to step into that and to come into just the knowledge of like, I want this who wants to come with me, then I feel like my team, I don’t want to say you, you have buy-in, but you all these people step up like, Hey, pick me.
Brittany Duncan (00:37:19):
I want to come, let’s go. Let’s do this. So I think for me, the biggest thing of leadership, those pain points that really came out beautifully for me was just finding that balance and just stepping into myself as a wife and a woman and a mom, and just really like loving life. Like I can honestly say like, my life is the best that it’s been for, like in forever. And that is beautiful. That’s priceless for me. So that I think that like, because.
New Speaker (00:37:44):
I’ve got like tears in my eyes. So I’m so thankful you took the conversation that way, because I think quality of life is undervalued when people are talking about stepping into this business and, you know, everyone buys into the idea of time freedom, but I see so few six-figure earners actually giving themselves that and experiencing that. And when, when I think of time, freedom, it’s exactly what you say, Brittany.
Kristen Boss (00:38:12):
It’s like, I’m, I’m present as a wife. I’m so present with my children. Like I love on your Instagram stories. I see you gardening and in the sunshine. And like, you’re, you’re living this rich and extraordinary life while you’re leading a team and my philosophy. And that’s, that’s what we’re constantly talking about in the mastermind. What’s so interesting is just in the last week you watch me coach two people on rest. I’m like, you have rest and you have like, someone’s having a baby in the mastermind. And she was just so shocked that I’m like, yeah, you need a maternity leave, but she’s like, what? But it was just like, I’m like, you don’t get this baby back. These are the only days. And this is truly the mastermind where it’s not just about enriching your business, but what good is it enriching your business?
Kristen Boss (00:38:54):
If it doesn’t also enrichen your life and learning too, I love that. You’re like, I don’t think balance is bologna. And I’m actually on board with you. Like, I really believe we can have an extraordinary business, an extraordinary personal life. Does that mean sometimes? I think for me, it just means adjusting my expectations in areas and being like, but if I have insanely high expectation, then yeah, I’m never going to feel like I have balanced, but for me I’m like, this is a beautiful life. I love this. I have all of these things. Is there a laundry on my couch that still needs to be put away? Is there dishes that still need to be done? Yes. You know, is my house sometimes in chaos? Yep. But that’s low priority for me because I’m focused on the relationships and experience in my life. So I think sometimes when people hear balance, they think perfectly clean house cooked all the cooked meals all the time, which you are a boss at that.
Brittany Duncan (00:39:45):
I love food though. That’s just my thing. Like when I tell people, they’re like, I can’t get dinner on the table. I’m like, cool. But you probably do so many other good things.
New Speaker (00:39:52):
Yeah. But that’s, that’s so fun if you’re, if you guys follow a Brittany on Instagram, she’s she does you know, getting meals on the table. She does meal prep and it’s, I love it so much when she told me she’s like, I get meals on the table every night of the week. I said, okay, excuse me. How do you do what?
New Speaker (00:40:09):
That’s one of your That’s one of your core values. You’re like, no, a family at a table eating. And that’s really important for me. But I think this, this idea of this balance is when we lower expectations. And we say is that is having a clean house all the time. That important for me, if it is okay, we’re going to prioritize that. But then we’re going to find something else that we lower our priorities with. And we are doing that balancing act. Yes. So I, I am, I am so thankful that you, that you talked about just the richness you’ve experienced in your personal life. Because I think sometimes when people are looking for, you know, growth in their business and growth in the mastermind, there, they can tend to only look for metrics and numbers and like, where’s this going to take my business next? And yes, that happens here.
Kristen Boss (00:40:50):
But also I think the, the bigger question to ask is like, how is this going to enrich in your personal life and your relationships with your spouse and your children and your home life? Because I can’t tell you how many DMS I get on a regular basis from six figure earners or people that are seven figure earners that have nothing but regret. They have nothing but regret from like, I, I spent years that I’ll never get back. I didn’t see my kids. I didn’t do these things. And you know, what’s interesting is I was actually in a meeting with with my CFO. And he was telling me that his, his best friend his dad was like a top earner in his company, but his best friend remembers not seeing his dad at night. His dad would always be calls and always on the phone.
Kristen Boss (00:41:34):
And he, he doesn’t really have a lot of memories of his dad. And like, they have insane residual income, which is great. But at the cost of this child’s memories of his dad. So I’m always like, where’s, where’s the give and take here. And, and that’s what we’re always fighting for in the mastermind is always like, what do you need to put down? And it’s very triggering. And for a hardcore hustler, it’s going to be like, oh wait, you’re telling me to slow down. You’re telling me to rest. And it’s, it’s very, you know, it’s interesting.
Kristen Boss (00:42:06):
But all that to say is just it’s so important that we stop only glorifying business growth. And we see just how important that personal life is and your relationships with your family, because you know what, you can be the top runner in your company. But what good is that if everything in your personal life is falling apart, if your body is falling apart, if you have chronic stress and it’s just, it’s just not worth it. So I would love to hear speaking of getting triggered in the mastermind because it happens quite often. I think it’s something that people do need to know if like, if they’re going to be doing this, like, especially as we’re talking about leadership is something that I encourage you all to do in the mastermind. And the mastermind kind of enforces it.
Kristen Boss (00:42:48):
And if our listeners constantly hear the word container, that is the term we use to talk about the area where all the growth is facilitated. It is this container where everyone is put in and that is where growth happens. That’s where culture happens and it is this a space for all of that to happen. And I’m very rigid about that container. And what’s so great is all of these women in the mastermind members, they go and learn to create containers of growth for their team as well. They’ve learned to apply the same principles they’ve learned in the mastermind and really thinking, how does this apply to my organization? And so one of the things in the container, I think that really lines up with leadership beautifully is radical ownership. You have to have such a mentality of owning all of your results and owning all of the coaching you get in there because you’re, you might not get coaching every week. Like it’s just, it’s depending on who’s raising their hand and you have to be in such sufficiency. So I’d love to hear from each of you how you have had to take ownership and leadership when you step into that container to ensure your result and how you’ve shown up, even in a group setting, knowing that I might not get coaching from Kristen today and how I’m totally okay with that Kaitlin, I’d love to hear from you.
Kaitlin Norton (00:44:05):
All right. So I feel like this was perfect for me because I am someone that kind of does like to be told what to do. And so not having like an exact, like a, to B or linear approach to the mastermind has really helped me almost like have to step more into leadership and ownership and that I’m getting out of this, what I put in. And so that’s what I think I’ve seen a huge shift in not only my business, but in my personal life, is that if I want to get out of, if I want to get my investment out of this, the return on investment of what I have invested in Kristen, it’s on me to do the work. It’s not on her. She’s not babysitting us. She’s not giving us a checklist of what to do. We definitely have. I feel like themes of each week.
Kaitlin Norton (00:44:52):
It just happens that way of like things that we’re all trying to work on. But however, I do feel like after our first live event, even though it wasn’t like a checklist of things that I need to do, I have never had a clear approach of what I should be doing as a leader, but that is 100% on me to make sure I’m doing that because we’re not getting babysat. And I love that because as our coach, you, you have put the ownership on us. And I think that’s where we will continue to see the most growth is that it’s on us to show up to the call. It’s on us to show up with our camera on. I mean, even like the mastermind timeframe, it didn’t work for me. And I had to switch my son to morning morning preschool so that I could be present 100% present on the call and not be worrying about shuffling kids.
Kaitlin Norton (00:45:40):
And I love that from the get go, you have set that expectation for us. And it’s like, if you want this, this is what it’s going to, this is what you’re going to have to do to be part of this, but that’s on, you know, so I really think your approach to this container, your approach to the expectations has been amazing in each of us becoming amazing leaders, because it all comes down to ownership. And because one of the things, oh, sorry, go ahead. It just, that one, I got coached on this a couple of weeks ago, and I didn’t really realize this. You talked about numbers and some of the girls were talking about how they don’t keep talking about numbers. And I’m like, well, I can check my numbers 100%, but at the end of the month, if my numbers, aren’t where they are.
Kaitlin Norton (00:46:18):
Like, I don’t have any any control on that. And Kristen helped me realize that I do. And if my thoughts, if my thoughts are focused on the, I do have control over those numbers, then I, then I do. And so it’s been interesting to actually even take ownership, ownership of things that I didn’t feel like I did have control over and be shown that I actually do have ownership 100% of my business.
New Speaker (00:46:41):
I love that. And I really want to go back to the ownership, the radical ownership do you have to take in the mastermind? And the reason why that has to happen there is because how can you teach your team radical ownership of their results? If you, as a leader are not doing that yourself, it’s like learning to be in that pain of like, Ooh, I can’t tell my team to be a problem solver and to be proactive and to access their own mind if I’m unwilling to do that myself in this container.
Kristen Boss (00:47:14):
And that is what you all have had to do. And I think you’ve all noticed, like you cannot come to that mastermind passive. You have to come with full ownership, doing your problem solving and always asking, how was this for me? How was this coaching that this person is getting right now for me? How can I apply it? How can I do those things? And while you are, well, you know, if people are listening and they’re thinking about it while you aren’t giving them a checklist each week, you were always given a framework and saying like, this is the framework. This is what you need to operate around. This is the result you probably need to aim for now, go and do that. And then come back for your coaching. The coaching is all always available, but I do love that you were like, yeah, I’m fully responsible and so much so that I’m going to switch my kid’s daycare so that I’m fully present on this call because you owe it to yourself because you owe it to your investment and you owe it to your team and you, and you deserve to experience taking yourself that seriously.
Kristen Boss (00:48:09):
And I don’t know if you guys noticed a shift in yourself from like, wow, I’m showing up in this way. I feel, man, I kind of feel like a boss. Like this is, I like this version of me that shows up with confidence and seriousness and like the CEO mindset versus the manager mindset. Ali, I’d love to hear like about, same for you, just the ownership in the container and getting triggered sometimes and all those things.
Ali Holt (00:48:36):
Yeah. So I think for me, I, like I talked about previously, it was kind of like fly by the seat of my pants. And Kristen has always been, I mean, every Monday she gives us usually some sort of actionable, you know, whether we’re talking about an opportunity call or onboarding, but there’s always an evaluation that comes after the task. And for me, I never thought, I mean, it sounds silly, but I’ve just never thought to evaluate, evaluate something that I’ve done. And so that was kind of triggering for me to have to sit and say, okay, this is what went really good, but this is what went really bad. And sometimes those thoughts are kind of uncomfortable because you, you put this work into things and you expect them to go well. And when they don’t recognizing that and taking ownership that not everything you’re going to do is going to be awesome, but also evaluating and say, well, what could I do better?
Ali Holt (00:49:30):
And we talked about this last week, I believe on Monday. What happens when you evaluate yourself is you come up with better ideas and it actually motivates you to do it again. And it makes you want to be better and do better. And I think that’s like the takeaway from all of this is, you know, just evaluate yourself and see how you can be better and then do it again. And it’s a cycle it’s, it’s, it’s a cyclical. All of this is a cycle. It’s not linear. We talked about this, it’s a cycle. All of it is a cycle. And as long as you continue to evaluate, you can always change. And that’s been really eye-opening for me. And just really amazing for me to take away is nothing. Here is permanent. There’s always growth. There’s always an evaluation process and you can always change.
Ali Holt (00:50:14):
So knowing that and having, having that kind of drilled into us every week and just knowing like, yeah, I got to come to this call and maybe I’m not going to get coaching, but whatever this other person is asking or talking about, it’s, it’s for sure going to, in some way, I’m going to, I’m going to learn from it. And it’s going to apply to my business because we’re all in the same phase of business. Most, you know, we’re most likely having the same questions come up and so learning and again, like Kaitlin said, taking ownership of it and getting that return on the investment we all paid, you know, to come in, to learn. And so, you know, if you don’t show up to the calls and you don’t participate, that’s on you. And you know, our team, our team can tell that we’re, we’re shifting and we’re changing.
Ali Holt (00:50:58):
And actually, I just want to add one more thing. So when we got back from our weekend together from the very beginning of the mastermind, Kristen said we needed to create a success standards. So that’s what I started with that was, you know, I have realized like I had this team, but everybody was just kind of floating. I didn’t feel like we were one team. And so I got on my call and we came up with this standard of what we wanted our team to look like. And I mean, people, the team was speechless. It was like, whoa, where did she come from? But it felt so good. And the feedback that we got from that was incredible, just like how excited and renewed and refreshed. The team felt that we had a direction and that we had the standard and that they could bring more people onto this team and say, Hey, look, this is what we expect of you.
Ali Holt (00:51:46):
And what happens on our team? This is our continued, this is our culture here. And this is what we expect from you. If you want to be successful, do these things. If you want to see results in your business, this is what you need to do. This is how you need to show up. And that’s the standard that Kristen gave to us. When we signed up for the mastermind, we had three videos, three days before our event, we watched these 10 minute videos. And I remember sitting in the parking lot of Walmart and I was just like, dang, like this girl’s serious. Like she’s so serious. She wants us to show up. She is expecting us to take ownership, but also she poured her belief into us. And I remember feeling so loved. I didn’t even know Kristen we’d have one interview together, but I, I felt that she believed in me.
Ali Holt (00:52:31):
And so I knew that I was doing something for myself that was going to change me. And it’s amazing when someone believes their belief into you, how you can actually believe in yourself. And so I’ve taken that from those first three videos that Kristen sent us. I’ve taken that to my team. And my new kind of mantra is, you know, I’m creating leaders, but I am ultimately, I want to create believers because you cannot lead a team. If you don’t believe in yourself and you cannot create leaders until they believe in themselves. So that’s really been my biggest. I think my biggest takeaway was just, you know, the belief and knowing that, you know, if you have someone that believes in you you can bleed that belief down into your teams and into your interior leaders as well.
Kristen Boss (00:53:19):
Mm so good. I just remember there was a season for me with, with my coach and, and you might even there yourselves is, there was a time where I was in her group mastermind and I would, whenever she was coaching somebody, I would, I would be sitting there as a student being like, okay, how is that coaching for me? How has that coaching for me? And then it became the, I evolved so much in my leadership that now when I listen to my coach speak, I’m not actually sitting there thinking like at the client level, I’m thinking at the coach level and being like, Ooh, am I coaching? Am I saying, is she saying the exact same things in the way that I would coach that person? And so there’s a shift there where like, you guys might right now, I’ll be like, okay, everything, you know the coaching right now, that’s happening. That’s for me, that’s for my leadership. And then eventually you might get to a place where as you were listening to coach and be like, would I have coached that way? Would I have coached? Did I come up with the same answer in my mind that Kristen just came up with and that that’s where the shifts are always available in that container.
Kristen Boss (00:54:14):
I love that. Brittany, what about you? This ownership and getting triggered in that container and the discomfort That can happen.
Brittany Duncan (00:54:21):
So there’s lots Of triggers just come in knowing that. But I also think that you really, I mean, it’s we say all the time, you cannot grow without being uncomfortable, but nobody likes to be uncomfortable. And I think at a certain level of just at a certain level of, oh, what’s the word leadership we’re achievers. And with that comes, a lot of people clapping for you. And a lot of people acknowledging you. And, and this definitely kind of brings it back to that piece of ownership where like, you’re looking at a lot of things that didn’t work, that aren’t working, you’re here for a reason you’re here because you want to get bigger and you want to get better and you want to help your team in the best ways possible. So I think with that, uncomfort, like you have this huge piece of creativity that comes out that I I’ve always been business minded, but I feel like I’ve been able to look at it in a completely different light.
Brittany Duncan (00:55:15):
And I can sit down with my husband or my dad and have these like in-depth discussions about my business and really take ownership of like, this is where I sucked. I failed at this. Or, and I don’t even like the word fail I didn’t do well. So now that evaluation process you’ve taught us, I feel like I’m constantly evaluating everything. And that’s been one of the biggest pieces for me, because from that comes growth. It comes the steps that we want to go. It’s leading us to where we want to be. And so though, time, like, like you said, I mean, that was one of my biggest worries in switching one-on-one because I got all of your attention for 60 minutes, you know, every single week I’d be like, Hey, here’s my list. Let’s, let’s go through this. So I wondered how is, you know, Katelyn coming on and talking about what she’s struggling with, how does that help me at all?
Brittany Duncan (00:56:00):
And it is crazy how applicable everything is. Like, I mean, every single week you come away with, you know, three and four pages of notes just from other people’s coaching, because chances are you’ve dealt with it or you’re going to deal with it. Or you don’t even realize it’s an issue, but it totally is. And once he started talking about it, oh wait, I have struggled with that. Or one of my core leaders has struggled with that. And this is, you know, a great place to start for us to explore and to move together with. So it’s definitely like uncomfortable. I don’t want to like set it up to be like, this is the worst ever. It’s absolutely not. But you have to come into it knowing you’re going to be really uncomfortable. And that’s the best thing you can be. You need to be uncomfortable because if you are not uncomfortable, you’re not doing your job in there and you’re not taking ownership.
Kristen Boss (00:56:50):
Yeah. Oh, so good. You guys have said such good things. And I think my audience is probably taking so many notes, so I would love to hear it. We’ll we’ll close it up with this. With, with this one last question I would love to hear what would be one piece of advice that you would give to a leader who is currently struggling in their confidence and feeling unworthy of their team. And like, they know they need the help, but they feel a unworthy of making the investment or unworthy of their team. What one piece of advice would you give them? Brittany, we’ll start with you.
Brittany Duncan (00:57:26):
Well, I feel like this was me. So this, this feels natural. My dad had told me, cause I was struggling for a few months before I found Kristen. And he told me that, you know, money doesn’t always equate to worthiness. There are people that worked so, so hard and do not get the, I really struggled with the paycheck I was getting. I didn’t feel worthy of it. I didn’t feel like I was showing up for it. So if you are in this space where you are not feeling worthy of your team or your paycheck, or just any place of lack, really, as a leader, just know like you are worthy of that. You created this team. Cause the thing is you didn’t quit on day one. You have been reaching out to people. You have been talking, you did create this team and it’s okay if you aren’t fully confident in where you are, but just take from us that this place of confidence is amazing to come into leadership with confidence, sorry, is I can’t even describe how good it feels. And you are worthy of feeling that you are worthy of having that peace as a wife, as a woman, as a mom and as a leader. So just make the investment in yourself in whatever way that is for you. Maybe that’s not the mastermind right now, but start believing yourself. That’s truly where it starts borrow. Christine’s belief borrow my belief. You are worthy of this and you are, you can come into this confidence and you can find it. Hmm. So good. Brittany.
Kristen Boss (00:58:53):
You’re probably gonna make a listener cry, Ali.
Ali Holt (00:58:58):
Yeah. I don’t think I can say it any better than that, but I just 100% agree. I mean, I feel like you can sit and make all the excuses why you shouldn’t invest in yourself and why you don’t deserve to, you know, get guidance or coaching. I know I certainly, as Kristen, I was like, give me 24 more hours. Okay. Just 24 more hours. And I had to do some serious soul searching to know that like I was worth this and my team is worth this. And if I wanted to do this, like I knew I did then, then I would have to come into that knowledge that, you know, I’m worthy for this and I, I need the help. And I think just being submissive and humble and you know, open-minded, I think that’s huge is just being open-minded and knowing that, you know, maybe it feels scary and maybe it feels uncomfortable.
Ali Holt (00:59:53):
Cause we’ve talked a lot about that. A lot of it’s going to feel uncomfortable. The money’s going to feel very, very uncomfortable. But knowing that you’re worth it and like Brittany said, just believing in yourself and borrowing someone else’s belief. Even if you don’t have that right now. And I’ll tell you like the belief, isn’t something that you get and you get to keep it forever. It’s something that comes and goes every day and it’s a constant, you know, I mean personal development, that’s huge in social selling. It’s 90% mindset, 10% strategy. And so if you’re doing your, your personal development and you’re consistently doing whatever brings you peace and happiness, whether that’s a spiritual study, whether that’s, you know, reading books or getting outside, however that looks for you and just finding yourself and continuing to continuing to believe, to believe that you’re worth it. Because like I said, it’s not going to be something that, oh, I just finished the mastermind and now I’m confident and I have belief and I’m going to be a eight figure, earner, whatever. I don’t even know that exists. But anyway, just knowing that it’s going to be something that you continuously have to work through. Even when you start reaching this level of business and this level of income, especially probably when you reach this level of business. So
Kristen Boss (01:01:11):
Love that. So good. Kaitlin, what about you?
Kaitlin Norton (01:01:15):
It is hard to go last with this one. So I would just say, just do it like, honestly, you’re not only investing in your business, but you’re investing in yourself and I just feel like there is a huge reward in investing any sort of income. I’m not any sort of going to come to any sort of amount in your business. There’s always going to be huge reward in that, but do your research and make sure you’re investing in someone that you believe in and that someone who resonates with you. For me, when my, when I asked my husband, Hey, should I do this? And I’m very much like if he says, yes, I’m like, Hey, we’re doing it. But he said, no, this is on you, you 100% need to make this decision. And this has to be your decision and your decision alone.
Kaitlin Norton (01:01:56):
And that was a super scary thing for me. Because I was like, well, what if this doesn’t work? And I’ve spent X amount of money and investing in a coach, but I will never not invest in my business from here on out. So if you are looking or waiting or wondering if you should invest in your business 100%, yes. Because you’re not only investing in your business, but in yourself and you will change, show up different in your personal life, as well as your business. When you treat your business like a business and make that investment.
Kristen Boss (01:02:27):
So good. I love that. You said I will never not invest. And I feel the same way. It’s just like, and I really love the Ali said the belief work is always there. It is always there. And I think that surprises some people when the belief drops and they think something’s gone horribly wrong, like what my belief is gone.
Kristen Boss (01:02:41):
It’s, it’s a, it’s in the crapper again. How did it get here? And they start to think like, oh no, this, this must be a sign of poor leadership or a sign. I’ve done something wrong. Instead of just realizing this is natural. I’m always having to work on my belief because I always have a human brain. That’s looking to avoid uncomfortable things, looking to everything in your brain wants to keep you in status quo, no matter what your brain does not want you to hit that next rank, you might say, yeah, I really want that income. But your brain is like, oh, all the things it’s going to take of us. No, thank you. I really like Netflix. I like my gardening. I like my family. I just want to kind of go and hide in those things. So yeah. I like learning to constantly operate in levels of discomfort.
Kristen Boss (01:03:18):
And you know, I heard from a, another coach is just like always be putting yourself in the way of discomfort on purpose. Like be willing to feel discomfort on purpose. And I think sometimes we think, well, eventually I’ll feel discomfort. Like I’ll stumble upon it. It’ll accidentally happen to me. But I think when you become a leader who is willing to feel and go out of your way to experience discomfort on purpose, you become a completely different person because then discomfort is no longer something you fear. It’s something you’re actively going to pursue and lean into. And what’s interesting is with time, your brain starts to associate pain with good things. You’re like, oh, this is the feeling like the sick to my stomach feeling. This is the feeling of growth and good things happening for me. This is that feeling. And eventually, but you know, early on in the phases, this is when your brain says every you’re going to die.
Kristen Boss (01:04:14):
Every, this is when everything goes wrong. This is what everything’s going to fall apart. And you learn to do it differently. So ladies, I am just so thankful that you all came on and I just know you blessed all the listeners. So, so much whether they’re, you know, in their six figures or just starting out, I just think it’s so important to have an honest conversation of what leadership pain actually looks like and being vulnerable about it. Because I do sometimes think that leaders feel that they can’t talk about this because they’re afraid that it reflects poorly on their leadership. When in fact the opposite is true. And, and when a team sees, okay, my leader is doing the work too. And my leader there’s, there’s still growth that happens there because sometimes I really see, especially in the academy or students that are just starting out, they tend to think like, like you guys said, like they must have it all together.
Kristen Boss (01:05:02):
They start to think this, like these leaders have, have it all together. They’re perfect. And they start thinking something’s wrong with me? I could never be that. But I think when we realize no, all leaders go through pain, all leaders struggle in some area, all leaders go through this. It helps realize everyone can have this too. They’re like, wait there’s room for me to, I can grow and get there too. I can become a leader too. Anybody can become a leader if they’re willing to do the work. So I have, I’ll have all of your Instagram accounts linked up in your show notes. If anybody wants to follow you and give you guys a word and say you’re the best or whatever, but thank you ladies. And I hope you listeners enjoyed this episode cause we will have another one for you next week. We’ll see.

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