On this episode of Purposeful Social Selling, Kristen Boss challenges us to grow in our social selling by taking a deep look into our beliefs about selling. Are you bringing limiting mindsets into your interactions with your clients? Kristen shares how to not make it weird for both you and your client through becoming aware of our own unique purpose.
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Transcript for Episode #2: Stop Being a Weirdo
Kristen Boss (00:05):
Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling and authentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hello, and welcome back to another episode. You guys I’m pumped about this episode.
Kristen Boss (00:56):
And you probably looked at the title to thought stop being a weirdo. What, what is she talking about? Oh, it’s a good one. And honestly, I feel like it’s a really great early episode to have because in the world of selling and marketing, there are a lot of weirdos. And to be honest, you might be guilty of having acted like a weirdo at some point. And so what I’m talking about is how you approach your sales, your marketing, your potentials, your clients, your prospects, it’s about how you engage with them, how you talk with them, how you enter conversation. And so many of you, I love you. I’m glad you’re here, but you’re not here for your comfort. You’re here for your growth, right? So some of you in your messages are being a weirdo, stop it, no one likes a weirdo. And so if you’re asking to yourself, what does she mean by being a weirdo?
Kristen Boss (02:05):
We’re going to get into that being weird is when you have all of these icky, weird feelings approaching a sale or making an offer, and it’s often when you feel too attached to their answer and you’re coming to the call, the wrong way. Things get weird. When we stop being ourself, things get weird when we make it about ourselves, instead of our customer or our client and things get weird when we get very attached to their answers and the outcome of the call that we’re on. So what’s the number one way that you’ve, that you’ve been weird with a call, honestly, it’s, it’s this idea. It’s this belief, it’s this mindset. It’s feelings that you have around the idea of selling. You have to stop making, selling a gross thing in your mind. Selling is not gross. And I say this because I hear so many people that want to hide or shy away from selling.
Kristen Boss (03:14):
And they say things like I don’t sell. I share, or you don’t have to sell. You just share. If you have an online business, you sell. And selling, isn’t a bad thing. All selling is, is offering solutions to a problem that someone is having. It’s not gross. It’s not weird. It’s in your mind, somehow you have guilt or it complex around making an offer or selling to someone. You have this feeling. And I hear a lot of people say this. It’s just self-serving. Is it? How is selling something, especially when it’s addressing someone’s problem. When it’s alleviating them from pain and suffering, whether it’s with their time, physical pain, emotional pain, monetary pain selling is just providing a solution for someone who is in pain of some kind. That’s not self-serving now it does become self-serving when we aren’t truly seeking the best interests of our client or our potentials.
Kristen Boss (04:28):
That’s when it becomes self-serving. When it becomes more about an outcome we like rather than an outcome our client likes, or wants. That’s when it does become self-serving. But selling someone a solution is not self-serving, it’s really important. You sit with that thought and you embrace that because as long as you make selling gross in your mind or wrong, it’s going to stunt your growth with your business and you need to start seeing selling as a form of serving. I know that’s a big thought, but it’s true. Again, we’re helping heal people’s problems. We’re alleviating pain. Okay. And when we receive payment, it is them expressing their value that they see in their transformation that they want to have their perceived value of your service or product people think you with their money when you are solving a problem. I mean, if this was a few years ago, not a few years ago, but a few know, like a few centuries ago, you know, we would be in a barter system. They would thank you with a goat or a cow, or, you know, some wool or a tray. It’d be a trade. It’s just different. Now we’re not trading goats and chickens and things like that anymore. They are giving you their money, which is their perceived value of how you are serving them and how you were fixed. Something that is bothering them. Okay. So stop treating, selling like a bad thing. It’s merely an exchange of value.
Kristen Boss (06:16):
All right. Let’s talk about how you make selling weird, how, you know, when it gets weird. And I know, you know, like when you’ve been in those phone calls or messenger and you start to feel that tightness in your chest, you start to feel antsy and anxious. You get that pit in your stomach, you start to sweat a little bit, your hands are shaky. You know what I mean? That is when you’re making selling weird. And that is when you start behaving weird and your consumer on the receiving end of it can, well, they can sense when things are weird. And they don’t like it. That’ll scare them off. Okay. So selling becomes weird or you become weird. Let’s not even say selling becomes weird. You become weird, or you act weird when you need the sale. When you come to a call being needy or graspy or feeling like there’s pressure around getting a yes, you’re not making it about that.
Kristen Boss (07:18):
You’re making it about you. And if you are more worried about your own feelings in the call, you’re not truly serving the person you’re talking to. You need to be concerned about how you’re helping them, helping them have transformation, simply in a call. Another way you become weird when you’re afraid of making your potential, your clients, your prospects, your customer, things get weird when you don’t want to make them uncomfortable. This is really big, especially only when it comes to higher ticket items, or maybe it’s your, you know, your higher service package or your more expensive products combo that you’re selling them. When you are concerned with their feelings around their investment, you get weird things weird. You start to like shy away from the price. You have to justify it and you’re talking or about why they need it. You become very convincing.
Kristen Boss (08:31):
Instead of compelling, compelling is, is a much more organic and attractive feeling. Then convincing, convincing as you being needy and desperate and wanting and graspy. And nobody likes that. Okay? It makes you uncomfortable. You’re feeling uncomfortable. And it also makes your prospect on the other side or your potential, your customer on the other side, uncomfortable as well. So when you’re too worried about making, like not making them uncomfortable, you’re actually not serving them. Because if you are about solving a pain point, their brain is going to tell them I can’t afford that. I can’t do that. You know, it’s, it’s the number one, objection is about money. And if you get weird about money, you can’t serve them. Well, you need to remove your own feelings around money. Stop projecting your own money onto the person you’re talking to your own money, thoughts and feelings onto the person you’re talking to and be willing to get uncomfortable with them.
Kristen Boss (09:40):
Because if this is about their growth, it means you have to challenge them outside of their comfort zone. You have to choose. Do you want to help them feel more comfortable or do you want to help them grow? And growing is rarely comfortable. And if you’re too concerned, making someone comfortable, then you’re not committed to their growth because when you want to make them comfortable, really, you just want to make yourself comfortable because you feel weird or uncomfortable with their discomfort. But when we serve people, we have to be willing to get uncomfortable with them, for the sake of their growth, for the sake of their transformation, for the sake of listening to their underlying beliefs, that is keeping them from saying yes to themselves, keeping them from saying yes to the opportunity, the product, your service, the truly, no matter what it is, they’re buying the transformation.
Kristen Boss (10:46):
It’s uncomfortable. When we say yes to a big version and a transformation that we want for ourselves. So you have to be willing to get uncomfortable for the sake of their growth. But don’t be weird when we start to make everyone comfortable, we become less authentic and it gets weird and they can sense that. Okay, another way we become weird, oh, please. For the love, okay. Is when we use a script, stub it step up. As of it, if you have been handed a little script of what to say, and it is copying and pasting, or you just switch out their name or you switch a couple of words, that is weird. That’s not being authentic. That’s not being a real human. If a robot could do it, you should not ask yourself, could a bot do this. If so, I should not do this.
Kristen Boss (11:45):
But it’s weird when you operate from a script, because then what happens is when the person you’re talking to goes off script, you start to freak out. You start spiraling. You’re looking through your pages. And you’re like, well, I wasn’t prepared for this. I don’t know where to go. And then all of a sudden, because you’ve been used to operating with a script, you don’t know how to go off script. And then things get even more weird. So if you are operating with a script, stop it that that’s not authentic. That’s not real. That’s not what people want. They want to feel like they’re sitting at coffee at a coffee shop with a friend and having a real conversation. And the moment you pull out a script, you become less authentic. It becomes less organic. It becomes forced. You become a robot, you become less yourself.
Kristen Boss (12:35):
And nobody likes being on the receiving end of that. Okay? Another way, we need to stop being weird. And why, and why weirdness happens is when you are trying mean to be someone you’re not that’s when you’re trying to be like your other friend who offers a similar service or like your upline or your sideline or your bestie or that girl, you see on Instagram, who’s talking a certain way in her posts or in her messages. And she tells you, well, I just say this to people. And then you try and copy and paste it, but you don’t have the same audience. You’re not the same person. You don’t have the same brand. You don’t have the same personality. And that’s a good thing. Stop seeing your differentiating factor or the fact that you’re different as a, as a weakness or as a bad thing. It’s a good thing. People want unique. Please stop trying to be someone else thinking that that’s more attractive or that’s going to close a sale because it’s not be yourself. That’s the best value you can bring. People don’t want to talk to a robot. They don’t want to talk to somebody. That’s perfect. They want to talk to somebody. That’s relatable. Someone who can empathize with what they’re going through and someone that they trust to walk them through their own transformation journey. Be that person.
Kristen Boss (14:04):
Another way that things get weird. Another way I see people being weird is when you want everybody, you’re desperate and needy, it’s like the popularity contest. I want everybody to join me. I want everybody to do this with me, but the problem is is when you’re not selective, you’re not being intentional. Have intention in your business, stop swinging for the low-hanging fruit and go for people that are most aligned with you. Because when you are attracting and working with and serving people that are most aligned to you and your gifts and what you offer and how you show up, you serve them far better than that. You convinced to join you or try your product. You have a lot more buy-in with the right people than just with anyone.
Kristen Boss (15:05):
Okay. I have three, I have three things, three more ways that you make it weird and that you need to stop making it weird. Okay? The first one is your thoughts about yourself coming to the call. And we kind of touched on that, where I said, you know, you’re either trying to be somebody else you don’t, you’re trying to sound like somebody better. You’re not being your most authentic self, but oftentimes when things get weird is when you’re projecting your own thoughts and feelings about money, the business and the service onto your client. Now, if you are projecting positive things, positive beliefs, that’s good. But far too often, I see people who are feeling broke or who feel like money is very scarce to them. They come to the call, projecting their own money, scarcity their own feelings around money, and they project it on their client.
Kristen Boss (16:06):
They assume that their client is feeling the exact same way about money. When in fact that might not actually be the case, but because you’ve created that story for them and you believe it, you show up less powerfully than you could. If you believed an empowering story about your client coming to the call, some of you come to the call assuming everyone’s broken. But what if you actually came to a call or an opportunity or a message like when you’re engaging with someone new, you came to the call, assuming the absolute best in them. If you came, assuming they were desperate for what you had to offer, they were excited to do what you do. And they saw high value in what you had to offer. You wouldn’t hold yourself back with how you talk about it. But the moment you project your own money scarcity, or a lack of belief on them, you hold back, you show up less powerfully.
Kristen Boss (17:14):
You start filtering what you say. And then the call is not nearly as powerful as it could be. So that that’s one way you make it weird is when you’re, you’re projecting your thoughts about yourself onto your potential. Second is when you, when you are creating stories about them, that aren’t true. So I far too often, and I know I’ve done this in the past. I’ve come to a call assuming she’s not going to want this. I know her story. I know her job. I know her husband, her husband will never go for this. She’s broke. She and we literally come with a story already written about them. And, and we operate with that story. And we act like that story is fact, when in reality, it’s simply a story we have crafted based on our perception. That’s not even reality.
Kristen Boss (18:24):
So stop telling the story that’s not true before you even come to the call, she doesn’t want this. She’s too busy. Her husband will never go for this. She’s tried this before. She’s not going to see value in this. I’m going to put all this time in it and she’s going to quit in 30 days. Well, okay. Now, what energy are you bringing to the conversation? That’s now, you’re now you’re kind of dragging your feet and be like, I don’t even know why I’m getting on this call. Oh, do you want this? You’re not showing up with belief that she actually wants what you have to offer. And she wants the transformation on the other side of your offer, how would you show up differently? If you believed wholeheartedly that she saw value in what you had to offer and value in the transformation that’s on the other side of your offer, you’d show up differently.
Kristen Boss (19:12):
You wouldn’t be weird. Lastly, it’s oftentimes. So, so it’s kind of in three areas, our belief in ourselves, how we see ourself, how we see our client and how we see our product or our service. If you have any doubt or negative feelings around your service, product or opportunity that is going to come through with how you sell or not sell. If you don’t have belief in the process, you’re not going to be able to sell someone on joining you and going through the process too. You, you can’t, if you don’t have belief, how on earth are you going to sell that to her? You have to have belief in what you’re selling. If you don’t have belief in what you’re selling, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Why don’t I believe in what I’m selling? What would need to change? What would I need to add to help my belief in what I’m selling?
Kristen Boss (20:22):
What would give me unshakeable belief in this offer, product or service that I have that I’m bringing to the world? What would that need to look like for it, for me to have unshakable belief, to come to every call with confidence and to believe the story that my client wants. This sees value in this. She’s excited to do this. She’s the exact right person in the exact right fit. And the belief that you are capable of giving her the transformation that she wants, the belief that you are. In fact, the girl for the job to help her have that transformation and an amazing experience. Watch your thoughts. You’re being weird because you have negative thoughts around yourself, your client, your business, and selling, and you need to have positive, empowering thoughts about all four of those things in order to not be weird. So I want you, I want you to look at your past messages, evaluate your phone calls and really sit with, have I been weird? Have I made an in the ways of like, what does weird look like when you’re, when you’re needy? You’re desperate. You’re not yourself. You don’t want to make them uncomfortable. You use a script, you find yourself being someone you’re not you’re convincing. Go back to those conversations. I’m sure there’s been one recently and ask yourself what belief was I holding about myself, my client, the opportunity or selling that hindered me from showing up authentically and not weird.
Kristen Boss (22:11):
If we want to change the world of social selling, we have to change how we show up in the world of social selling. We need real humans, not bots, not scripts, not playbooks. Be yourself for goodness sake, show up with a heart of service. If this industry is going to be different, it starts with the people in it, right? Right. It starts with how we see ourselves. It starts with how we see the industry. So stop being weird. Nobody likes it. People aren’t going to buy from people, acting weird. People are going to buy from someone who’s confident and excited and authentic and genuine. And for goodness sake, stutter over your words, get something wrong. Say, oh goodness, it’s not the end of the world. If you say, you know what? I don’t know. Let me get back to you on that. I want to make sure I have the right answer for you.
Kristen Boss (23:12):
Sometimes we’re so afraid of being wrong and sounding wrong. That it turns us into an in-genuine robot. And that’s weird. So stop being weird. Throw out the script book. Stop trying to be someone that you’re not stop. Making sales gross. You’re selling is only gross to you because you have made it that way. You can have a choice. You can actually choose to see selling as that is super fun and really exciting and something that you enjoy. And if you’re over there cringing, and just, if you feel so uncomfortable, it’s because I’m challenging you in the, in an area you need to grow. Because if you are a business owner in the online space and you want to have impact in the social selling world, you need to start understanding
Kristen Boss (24:11):
How selling is another form of serving and why it’s not self-serving. Selling is about how we serve and help others. So there you have it. Stop being weird. That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done at different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals.
Kristen Boss (24:58):
In the academy. You get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for awhile. This is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.