Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling! After being a serial entrepreneur and working with online entrepreneurs for over 15 years, Kristen brings a value packed mini coaching session straight to the podcast.
There is a word in the online social selling world which leaves an icky taste in Kristen’s mouth every time she hears it. It is destructive and unsustainable. Not only does this word invoke a cycle of desperation for yourself, it leaves your potential clients feeling the same way. So what is this dirty word and what is the antidote for it?
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Transcript of Episode #1: The Dirty Word in Business
Kristen Boss (00:05):
Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling and authentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hey, fellow bosses, welcome back to another week. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. The yes, that’s my real last name. And I am so excited that you’re here. Listening with me today. This dream is you’ve
Kristen Boss (00:59):
Been in the works for some time and I’m thrilled that today is the day. It’s a big deal. Listen, as a serial entrepreneur and service provider of more than 15 years, I found my best calling when I became a coach for online business owners, specifically for my friends in the world of network marketing, brand partnerships, direct sales and more. I’m going to be referring to that industry as the world of social selling. I’m going to be talking to you guys a lot. I’ve got so much to share with you. The social media landscape is changing at a breakneck speed and now more than ever, you need to know what’s going on in social media. If you wish to make an impact in the online space, I work with so many tired, frustrated entrepreneurs who are wondering why they can’t get the traction and the momentum and the success in their business that they had at one point, or that they see their friends having.
Kristen Boss (01:55):
And they’re starting to question themselves thinking maybe the problem’s me. It’s not you. It’s likely the way you’re showing up on the platform and what you’ve been taught doesn’t work anymore. And like I said, it’s changing so fast. You need to stay with the times. One, one good example of that is branding used to be a luxury, but it’s not that way anymore. It’s a necessity. Now, if you wish to stand out in the marketplace and build an engaged audience full of raving fans, it is not a numbers game anymore. It’s not the numbers you have on your Instagram and how many followers you have. It’s not the number of likes. It’s not even the number of comments. It’s not even the number on your email list. It’s about how engaged and bought in that audience is with you. And even if you have a small audience, you can have an audience that is obsessed with everything you offer and bring to the marketplace, but there is a way to do it on this podcast.
Kristen Boss (02:53):
We will discuss all things, branding, marketing, selling, and of course mindset, because that’s one of my favorites. Leadership and everything in between that makes for both a successful business and happy entrepreneur. Because let me tell you, I know plenty of really successful business owners who are not happy entrepreneurs, and I know happy entrepreneurs who are not successful business owners. Now they might be happy, but I think they’re feeling dissatisfied that their business isn’t where they want it to be. And I’m going to give you the secret to be both a profitable and a purposeful entrepreneur, no more of this gross spammy selling yucky strategies that you see out there. No more looking like you are a head hunter or someone that’s profiteering off of the less fortunate few. That is why people don’t like the world of social selling. And I am determined to bring a shift to that industry where people start looking at it differently, thinking about it differently and talking about it differently.
Kristen Boss (04:03):
Because if the industry is looked at differently, your businesses change, people want to join you. More people want to do it. And I strongly, I am obviously I’m an entrepreneur. So I, I am a huge advocate for people building businesses from the ground up. I’ve done it for years, myself and I want to come alongside weary business owners who are feeling like, is this, it is this all there is. I’m frustrated. There must be more to this. And they’re tired of old strategies that have them feeling inauthentic to themselves. They don’t feel like they have a brand, or it feels inauthentic to their brand. And they feel gross with their audience. We’re changing that. We’re changing the game and I’m going to teach you exactly how to do that in today’s social media landscape in a way that feels authentic to you. And it’s about bringing an organic audience who loves what everything you have to offer.
Kristen Boss (04:58):
They buy the t-shirt, they buy the mugs. They’re all about you. And there’s a way to go about it. So on the pocket. So we’re going to talk about all those things. And every week I would make it my mission to blow your freaking mind. I want it to be absolutely value-packed. I want it to be like you are having a mini session with a coach on the other end, telling you all the secrets that I am teaching my VIP clients, people that are already six figures in the industry scaling to seven figures. And I’m teaching them some of these very, some of the very same strategies that they’re having to learn now in their business, because they didn’t learn it earlier in their business. And I want you to be ahead of the curve. I want you to have the six-figure brand before you have the six-figure paycheck. And there is a way to do that. So based on that, the title of the episode, you’re like, okay, so what is this dirty in business? What is Kristen talking about? I’m going to talk about a word that I absolutely hate.
Kristen Boss (06:07):
I can’t stand it. It’s not to make light of the word triggered, but I sometimes I feel like the word triggers and maybe it will for you too. And maybe I’m not going to make friends talking about this, but Hey, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to make successful, happy business owners, and I’m here to serve you. And even as a coach, you know, my coach has told me, Kristen, we have to be willing to, to hurt some feelings sometimes for the sake of the growth of our clients. So I’m going to do that with my audience, for the sake of your growth. I’m going to tell you the truth. Like it is. I don’t pull any punches and I hope that you will see value in that. So what’s this dirty word. I hate the dirty word. And it’s a word that you’re never going to hear me say, at least in a positive light.
Kristen Boss (06:51):
And I’m an Enneagram three little backstory. I’m an Enneagram three. And if you don’t know what that is on the Enneagram, it means I’m the achiever. I am a, self-professed like gold chasing junkie. I joke that I don’t even have a wing. I’m just a purist. I’m a three with a three-wing three wing, three. I love goals. I love strategy. And truly, I love my work so, so much, but the word I think is the dirty word that I refuse to glorify is “hustle.” And I say that because I was someone who subscribed to and lived by the hustle for a few years, we’re talking the hashtag side hustle, hashtag work’n my hustle. It’s glorified. I mean, I’ve been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. In fact, I think I had a mug that said hustle at some point, and I’m pretty sure I sent it off to Goodwill because I truly hate it that much.
Kristen Boss (07:48):
Now, if you stick around with me for a while, you’re going to see, like I said, I tell it like it is so hustle. We got to throw that in the bin and I’m going to actually tell you why I believe hustle is the dirty word and why I believe it’s not just, you know, it’s not really a dirty word, but I treat it like it is in the business world and why I believe it’s actually hurting your business far more than it’s helping you. So a couple points on hustle. You guys, hustle is not cute. We have to stop making it cute. And we’ve made it cute by putting it on mugs. T-Shirts hashtags, all the boss, babe merchandise out there. And we need to realize it’s actually not cute. It’s destructive to our sustainable wellbeing as business owners, hustle is cute for a, t-shirt not a business model.
Kristen Boss (08:37):
You know, I thought it’d be fun to look up the definition of hustles so that we could all sit with a word and realize why we need to take it out of our business. “Hashtag Side hustle” is no more my friends. Can we just all agree after this episode, we’re going to stop doing hashtag side hustle. Maybe if we do that, we’re going to, the hashtag will die. Just go away. Okay. But let’s look at the definition. The definition of hustle is to force someone to move her hurriedly or to obtain something by forceful persuasion, to fraud or swindle, busy movement. And my favorite: to sell aggressively. This is why people hate social selling because often people see because social selling the world of social selling network marketing, direct sales. It is it through the lens of hustle. That is where I see it glorified the most.
Kristen Boss (09:38):
Yes, I see it in the coaching world, but I see it, especially in the world of social selling and your audience is watching your audience is observing how you sell. And again, in that world, if you’re looking for more affiliates or for a team to be under you, you have to understand, you have to have a business model that is appealing to her. And she is not attracted to this idea of swindling, persuasion, to fraud or swindle, to move hurriedly, to force, to sell aggressively. Most people aren’t, don’t wake up in the morning and say, I want to join a business where I can sell something aggressively. No, but that is how a lot of people are doing business. We have to stop that. It is not, that is a self-serving business model. When we go out from the place of hustle and we are forcing people, we’re, we’re creating that urgency and you have to do this. And right now it’s when we are doing that, it is it’s in the service. It’s, self-interest, it’s self seeking and people can sense that your audience can sense that. And they don’t want to buy from somebody that is out for themselves. We have to stop hustling. It’s not cute. It’s gross. Okay. It’s self-serving I think I’m going to be saying it’s gross a lot.
Kristen Boss (11:06):
I realize I’m probably not making friends in this first episode. And with a last name like “Boss,” you guys are probably like, really disappointed with me, like who is the boss, babe that is anti hustle.? Me. So listen, if you want to swindle, force, persuade and aggressively build a business, then by all means, go ahead and call it a hashtag side hustle. And this will probably be the one and only episode that you value from me because I’m not going to be glorifying that. So I just thought it’d be really fun to just set the tone for the podcast, with this being like stop with the hustle, stop it, stop it, stop it. Okay. This is about a business that’s purposeful and joyful and servant hearted and impactful and sustainably profitable. We’re going to go back and we’re going to revisit that thought.
Kristen Boss (11:58):
Here’s the second point on hustle. Hustle is from a place of scarcity. It’s from a place of lack. If you find yourself saying, I need to do this, I have to do this. I have to go out and do this. That that’s from a place of lack. And again, that neediness, when you’re saying, I need, I need to turn a profit. I need to rank up. I need this paycheck. Being a needy seller is the biggest turnoff to a buyer. They can smell it a mile away and it makes them really uncomfortable. Scarcity again is self serving. So what is the fix for scarcity? It’s gratitude. When we are filled with gratitude, for what we already have, we don’t feel the need to swindle force coerce or pressure our audience to purchase from us. I want you to, I want you to really take this in scarcity, repels abundance attracts. When you are operating from a place of abundance, that is very attractive to your audience when you’re operating from a place of gratitude and service and giving value and showing up for people that is magnetic.
Kristen Boss (13:10):
I also want to tell you with scarcity. So, you know, you’re from this place of lack and I need, and often it’s money and self-serving right. Hustle, begets hustle or hustle creates hustle. So bear with me on this. You go out and hustle for a bunch of clients and you go out there and you’re like, I need it. I need it. I need, and I need, I need, I need, and you get a few because you’re working like crazy, right? You’re hustling. And you get all your clients and you bring them on from a place of lack and self service. But here’s what happens when you bring them on. In that way, they don’t stay long because they didn’t come. They didn’t, they didn’t join you because they felt cared for and seen. And like they were getting a ton of value. They came from a place of, again, what’s hustle, coercion obtained by forceful persuasion, fraud, swindle.
Kristen Boss (14:04):
If they came in that way, they’re going to exit that way. And you have to start thinking about the lifetime value of a customer rather than a 60 day or a 30 day value of a customer to get you to a goal. At the end of the month, there is for far more value in a client who wants to keep coming back to you. Who wants to order every month? Who wants to tell her friends about you, but when you are hustling to get her through the door, you have lost the opportunity or you’ve lost relational equity with her that would build the trust for her to want to continue giving you money next month and the month after and the month after. So what happens? They leave, they don’t wrap their order. They’re gone. They move on. They don’t stay long. And then, then what happens?
Kristen Boss (14:58):
Oh, we’re back to a place of lack. Then you’re back out hustling for more customers or clients to replace the very ones you lost. See that hustle creates hustle. It’s a perpetual cycle and it has to stop. Another thing hustle does is it leads to burnout every time, man, if I almost every single client that starts working with me or comes to me, the number one thing they are dealing with is burnout. They are exhausted. And if you want to know what burnout looks like, and maybe that’ll be a whole another episode because it’s a big one that I’m often coaching on is burnout is when you feel completely emotionally disconnected from your business, you don’t care anymore. You have a F it’s it’s apathy. You’ve checked out. You have no motivation. You don’t want to do it. You resent it. You start hating your business.
Kristen Boss (15:57):
You start thinking thoughts of, I didn’t sign up for this, this isn’t what I wanted. And then you’re so exhausted by the idea of working your business at all, that you want to hide under the covers and watch, you know, the office for the fifth time and not check your email for days on end and cry over a bowl of ice cream. That is burnout. It’s when you don’t even care anymore. You’re so checked out. And if you stay in burnout long enough, what happens is, again, you’re not caring for your customers. You’re not showing up in your business. You’re not doing those things. And then what happens then? Okay, you lose more customers. Your business starts to suffer more and then eventually it creates more lack. And then from your place of burnout, you’re like, oh no, my numbers are hurting. My business is hurting.
Kristen Boss (16:42):
And then you get yourself up to go and hustle. Again, I call this the burnout cycle where it starts, you start from a place of lack. And that creates feelings of shame and guilt. And you’re using words like I should, and I need to, and I have to. And wow. Wow. And you, and you almost beat yourself up to move into a place that like that’ll motivate you to go into your business. It’s almost like having a really poor relationship with the scale and your weight. You get on the scale. You don’t like the number and you shame yourself into thinking, okay, this is I’m going to lose these next five pounds. And I’m going to do it by, you know, not eating. And I’m just going to do celery juice for 72 hours. And yeah, you might lose the five pounds, but you’re grumpy, starving, angry.
Kristen Boss (17:29):
Nobody wants to be around you. So you lose the five pounds. And then what, 72 hours later you’re like, give me the bread, give me the cookies. Right? And then the weight goes right back on. And then it starts all over again. You get back on the scale, you beat yourself up. It’s the same thing in your business. You get all burnt, upset that your business isn’t where you want it to be. You give yourself a big hurrah, pep talk, maybe it’s positive. Maybe it’s negative. You go out and you, you go crazy. And then you get some results. You have burnout. You check out, you go sit on your couch, eat the bowl of ice cream. And then you don’t even want to go there anymore. And then again, business starts to hurt because you haven’t been showing up. And then you’re back in the shame spiral and be like, oh, I need to, I shouldn’t.
Kristen Boss (18:11):
And I have to, you do the cycle enough. You will hate your business. That is where you will say, I did not sign up for this. This is not the entrepreneurial life I wanted. I heard time, freedom and joy and creating your own hours. But I didn’t want this. Okay. Let me just tell you, it doesn’t have to be that way. Stop operating your business from a place of hustle. When I just described that cycle where you like, oh my gosh, that is so me. Does she see me? She in my life now, it’s just, I’ve, I’ve worked with so many clients that this is the pattern. So what does it need to be instead? And some of you are sitting there thinking, well, this is the only way I’ve worked my business. I don’t know any other way to work my business. How else should I work my business?
Kristen Boss (19:06):
And you honestly have no clue. What would it look like to operate your business differently? Let me ask you, sit with that. What would it look like to not operate your business from a place of lack? What would it look like if you operate it from a place of joy and fulfillment and purpose? That’s my big word that I use is oftentimes you want to know when you’re in hustle, as you forgotten your purpose, you’ve forgotten the very gift you have to offer your world in the audience that is very unique to you. And honestly, your purpose that’s the work you would do for free in the world. Those are the things that you do for, for joy and for fun. But some of you have completely forgotten what your purpose is because you made your business, you made your product, you made the numbers, you made the company, you made your rank.
Kristen Boss (20:07):
You made that your purpose. Let me tell you something. I work with enough people that they get to the six, the coveted six-figure rank in their business and they ask three questions. I know because I hear it all the time. They get to the multi six figures, seven figures, and they start saying: “Is this it? What now? What next? Those are the three questions I usually hear. Is this it? What now? What next? They have completely that, you know, they have, they have, they have the paycheck. They have the accolades that have it all, but they’ve lost their sense of self they’ve hustled to the top. And now they’re, they’re being like, well, Hmm, this isn’t that very fulfilling. That is when, when you operate from purpose, when you bring purpose into your business, it’s fulfilling at the bottom. It’s fulfilling at the top. It’s fulfilling. No matter what your paycheck is, purpose is what creates a sustainable business model. A business owner needs to wake up knowing why she’s showing up in the world and who she’s serving and what her gifts are, what your gifts are, what your unique gift is to your audience and the world.
Kristen Boss (21:24):
And it’s funny, “purpose” it sounds so. Oh, that sounds great. It sounds fluffy. It’s actually hard. It’s harder than you think to identify what is my purpose in the world? That’s like asking, like, what is the meaning of life? It’s a really big question. You know, some of the things my clients do when they start with me as we get really clear on their core values and I have them craft a mission statement. And I have, I ask them what brings you joy? And some people are so burnt out. They’ve hustled so much in their business. They don’t even know what they love anymore is that you, if that’s you, I really want to encourage you to unplug for at least 24 hours. If you don’t know what your joy is, it’s very likely you have not unplugged from your business and a very long time, and you have wrapped your identity and your purpose in your business, your business is the vessel for your purpose.
Kristen Boss (22:27):
It is not your purpose. It’s clear. It’s important that you know the difference, because if you make your business, your purpose, when you have a season, that’s frustrating when you don’t have a great sales month or you have a hiccup or a downtime, because that is the world of business, you’re going to have good times and bad times. When you wrap up your purpose and your identity in your business, you are in for an emotional roller coaster of exhaustion. You’re going to have a really high highs and really low lows. So how do you become more failure resistant and more riding a smoother? In-Between not on such high highs and low lows, right? It’s not in the place of like hustle and scarcity and abundance, feast, famine, feast, famine. I don’t know who I am. You have to bring purpose into it. You have to bring what brings you joy back into your business.
Kristen Boss (23:34):
And honestly, back into your brand. When we operate from purpose, that’s when we are, we’ve stopped making it about ourselves. You have to stop making your business about you and start making it about who you’re serving and your audience and helping them win. You want to win at life, help. As many other people win at life as possible. That’s deeply fulfilling, but if you’ve lost a sense of self it’s because you’ve lost your purpose and purpose, like I said, purpose is how you show up in the world. It’s the gift you give to the world from a place of fullness, from a place of abundance, from a place of joy, from a place of gratitude, there’s this a Japanese word, probably going to butcher it, but it is the word “ikigai”. And it means the reason for waking up in the morning.
Kristen Boss (24:28):
And that is where the things that bring you, joy, your purpose, your natural talents, and a problem that someone needs solving. That’s where they all intersect. That’s that beautiful space where someone has a problem. It’s something you love. It’s something you’re good at. It’s something that fills you up. It’s something that energizes you that is purpose. Or as the Japanese would call it in the word “ikigai”, right? So this is not about, again, this is not about you hustling anymore. This is about you operating from purpose. This is about you having a long-term mindset in your business because hustle is not sustainable. You are not built that way. You need to have a marathon mentality, stop coming at this in a sprint because you’re going to be frustrated every time. And you’re going to be burnt out. It’d be just like my clients, whether you’re at six figures or at the bottom, frustrated, not happy unfulfilled.
Kristen Boss (25:40):
So friends today, where do you go from here? I really want to challenge you when you feel that urgency. When you feel that compulsion, when you and I want you to catch yourself, how many times in the day are you saying I have to? I need to, I should, because anytime you’re using that verbiage, it’s from a place of lack. It’s from that is hustle in a really sneaky way. You may not be saying I got to go out there and hustle, but those words are clues that you are operating out of lack and in a place of hustle, rather than a place of purpose and abundance. So friend, if you are ready, it is time to unsubscribe from the hustle and realize it is not glorious. It is not cute. It is not sustainable. It is not the way impactful business is done. If you want impactful game-changing business, that is sustainable.
Kristen Boss (26:48):
That joyful, that’s fun for you at 10,000 a year or seven figures a year, you have to bring purpose into the game and you need to do it early. Or you might be a listener right now. And you might be at the place where you are at the six or seven, some figures, and you are asking, what now is this? It is this all. If that’s you, you know where to find me that wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals in the academy. You get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for awhile. This is the premier coaching program for the modern network market. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.