Purposeful Social Selling

Why You Don’t Like Selling Ep #20

Nov 2, 2020

In today’s episode, Kristen is sharing exactly why she thinks you hate selling and how you can make it fun, instead. Selling is a completely normal part of life and we are selling and being sold to in our personal lives every day.

Selling is really serving other people, and she gets straight to the heart of the matter to get you selling from a place of service and growing your sales skills by making a few changes in your thoughts and beliefs. 

She covers:

  • Your thoughts about selling are the reason you don’t want to sell
  • The questions to ask after you’ve had a negative experience with a salesperson
  • Why thinking “I’m not a salesperson.” is not serving you
  • Why being consumed with what other people think of you and your business is hurting your sales
  • The 3 things you need to sell confidently
  • How selling can be fun
  • How selling comes from a place of conviction and confidence

Kristen pinpoints exactly why you’ve lost your belief in yourself, your business, and your sales and the right steps to take to get back on track. Check it out now!

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com
Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

Transcript of Episode #20 Why You Don’t Like Selling:

Kristen Boss (00:05):
Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling and authentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hello. Welcome to another week it’s episode 20. How am I 20 episodes? This is amazing.

Kristen Boss (00:57):
What a year! If you are new here, welcome. This is the podcast where I tell it like it is, but I give you action items to immediately implement in your business for the week ahead of you. Glad you’re here. You being here tells me you want to learn to work your business and not in an authentic and meaningful way. That feels true to yourself. It feels organic. It feels fun. It feels joyful. If you are someone that has felt stressed or anxious around anything, marketing or sales related, you’re in the right place. Because let me tell you what: selling and marketing is a whole lot of fun. And if this title of the podcast told you anything, I’m going to be telling you why selling is not fun for you. Why you’ve got all kinds of drama around selling. And if you were like 99% of the people I coach and work with, you have said at one time or another, but I’m not a salesperson.

Kristen Boss (01:55):
I really don’t like selling. Oh, I just feel really gross when I sell, I don’t want to sell all people. Think of me, right? Many of you have all kinds of negative thoughts and feelings around selling. And today my goal is to completely change your thoughts and feelings. When it comes to selling, I’m going to tell you why selling feels gross to you, and then I’m going to help you really figure out how to do selling in a way that feels authentic and fun for you. Because let me tell you a little secret ready for this selling is serving and serving is selling. If you grasp that and understand that at the end of the episode today, I promise you working your business will never feel the same after this in the best way. But listen, you are in the social selling business. You were in the network marketing business, which means you are constantly meeting new people, making connections.

Kristen Boss (03:04):
You’re on social media. You have to learn to market to them meaningfully, and you need to sell selling. Isn’t a bad thing. So the way the world goes around, in fact selling, I believe is a way we express ourselves to the world, selling comes from conviction and it comes from confidence. So if you have a problem with selling, this tells me you have a problem with your conviction and a problem with your confidence. We’ll unpack that. So first the number one reason why selling feels gross and yucky to you or your thoughts about it. I know that sounds so simple, but it truly is. You have thoughts about selling, selling as a very neutral activity. There are people in stores anywhere you go selling is a completely neutral thing. It’s part of the human experience. When you tell someone about your opinion or you’re trying to get them to see your way of thinking or your view, you are selling your outlook to others. You sell yourself on a daily basis.

Kristen Boss (04:30):
When you talk about your new favorite Amazon purchase, I know you do come on. It’s COVID, we’re all out there buying things on Amazon. I guarantee you have told someone about something you have bought on Amazon that is selling, but you don’t feel gross about that because you don’t directly profit from it. But for some reason, when we directly profit from the things we sell, we get all kinds of drama about it. As if it’s a bad thing that we profit from helping people, doctors don’t feel that way. Lawyers don’t feel that way. People don’t feel that way.

Kristen Boss (05:11):
If you feel bad, helping people, that’s a thought you have, it’s not reality. Why do you feel bad? Helping people, your thoughts about selling as why it feels gross to you, the thought of I’m taking advantage. Like why you think selling is a bad thing. Oftentimes you have bad thoughts about selling because you’ve had an experience with selling that you didn’t like. We all have had a sales experience that have made us cringe. When we remember, we’re like, Ooh, that was so uncomfortable. Great. Think about a time where you were to, and you felt uncomfortable about the experience. And because of that, you start to equate selling with that experience. Maybe you have had another network marketer sell to you and it felt so gross. You felt like you couldn’t say no. They kept messaging. You, you weren’t being respected. You didn’t have space. It felt gross. It felt inauthentic. They were saying weird things. So because of that experience, you’ve equated all things, network marketing as gross and salesy, because you had an experience you didn’t like, or maybe you had an experience outside of network marketing and you just didn’t like it. So you’ve had a negative association with selling, thinking, all selling is bad. All selling is gross, right?

Kristen Boss (06:55):
I mean, we’re in a really politically charged season and I’m going to stay apolitical on this podcast episode because that’s not why you’re here, but I want you to notice that politics, no matter what side you lean, they are selling you, their ideology, their platform, their way of thinking. They’re selling you a vision you were being sold to. And maybe this whole experience. I actually think how we sell with politics is quite gross. To be honest with you, it’s just a mudslinging Fest, but that’s neither here or there. So I’m not going to put a lot of focus there, but I’m just saying we are sold to on a daily basis. And a lot of times we associate a negative selling experience with what we are doing online and that isn’t serving you. You sitting around with this thought of like, I’m not a salesperson.

Kristen Boss (07:52):
I don’t like selling. I feel gross. It’s because of your thoughts and your experiences about it. Another reason why it feels gross to you is because you have fears about other people’s thoughts and feelings about you selling things. You are completely paralyzed because you are consumed wondering what other people think of you. You are consumed about how other people perceive your motives behind why you do what you do. Honestly, their perception of you is none of your business. What they think of your business is none of your business. What they think of you selling is none of your business. Your business is helping people who want help. And you can’t think of people who want help. If you’re too consumed, thinking of people, judging you for how you help people. There are people out there that no matter how good and kind and decent human being you are, they will still think you selling a product or a service through a company or through the network business model.

Kristen Boss (09:13):
They’re going to think you’re a bad person and they’re going to have judgements about that. And you need to be okay with that. People don’t like network marketers and that’s okay. But there are millions of people out there who love buying products from network marketing companies. There are people out there that are open to what you have to offer. There are people out there who will overlook their own preconceived ideas about network marketing. They will overlook that because they like you and they trust you. And they’re willing and open to hearing what you have to talk about.

Kristen Boss (09:52):
But you being consumed with being afraid of what other people think about you. Selling something online is keeping you completely paralyzed and stuck in your business. And you have to decide at one point or another who you’re doing this business for when you’re consumed about other people’s thoughts and feelings about you, and you want to hide in order to protect yourself and your feelings, you were thinking of yourself and only yourself in that moment, this is a business about you serving other people and you can’t be serving other people when you’re too consumed. Wondering what your friend from high school thinks about you joining that company.

Kristen Boss (10:35):
I know you’re totally thinking of that friend from high school right now. Aren’t you, we all have that person and that’s fine. They can do their thing. And you can do yours. You have to let go of what people think of you in the social selling world. If it helps you snooze them, unfollow them, they don’t have to see what you’re up to and that’s fine, but you have to stop caring. What other people think about you selling online? There are always going to be people that think selling online is a bad thing, a wrong thing. That’s fine. They can keep their opinions, but you got to move forward so that you can serve people who want your help, who want a solution to their problems.

Kristen Boss (11:24):
Another reason why I felt selling feels gross to you is because you don’t have the belief. This tells me you don’t fully believe. And one of three things you either don’t believe in the product you sell. You don’t believe in the business model you’re with, or you just don’t believe in yourself. And in order to sell, you need all three things. You need to have belief in the products, belief in the offer, like really, truly believe that it can change someone’s life. I do this podcast because I really believe that people who learn to sell and market online in an authentic and organic way, I believe that changes people’s lives because when you are not spinning out in drama over wondering what people think, and you show up online confidently, and you bring money into your home and you have a paycheck and you’re feeling more financial freedom than you have in a long time, that changes lives. So I don’t take the time to spin out wondering what that person from high school thinks of me who went to high school with me. Hi, by the way, right?

Kristen Boss (12:47):
If you don’t have belief in yourself, truly selling as a confidence thing, it really is. And it’s not confidence of like, I’m a great person. I think I’m amazing. I’m talking about confidence and your belief in your ability to serve someone, your belief in your ability to help someone do you believe you can help someone. Do you believe you are capable of helping better their life on any level in any way? That’s all that matters. That’s the confidence I’m talking about. I’m not talking about confidence of, oh, I’m great. With my words. I’m good at selling and overcoming objections. I’m just talking about confidence in your ability to help people. That’s it.

Kristen Boss (13:42):
And do you have belief in your business model? If you are not selling or talking about your business, this tells me you don’t really believe in the business. Maybe you did. At some point, maybe you were recruiting like a crazy person early on because your belief was so high. It was the best business model in the world. Everybody should join. And somewhere along the line, you lost belief. Somewhere along the line, you went from rockstar recruiter to feeling like a fraud. Suddenly it feels like you don’t know how to recruit people anymore. You’re struggling in your business. And in your mind, it feels almost inauthentic and dishonest to promote a business that you yourself feel like you’re struggling with my reading a page from your diary. I know I say that a lot, but I really feel like I am. I know this, I hear this from my students.

Kristen Boss (14:41):
You cannot sell something you don’t believe in. You must have belief in your product. You must have belief in yourself and you must have belief in the business model. If you are missing any one of them, those three things you’re going to feel gross or weird or spammy talking about your business or product or service. If you feel salesy, if you feel gross, when you were selling your product service offer, there’s a couple reasons why: A, your belief isn’t there B you know that you might have the wrong agenda. If you were going in with the agenda of meeting and serving your own needs, if that is your primary motivation for selling that is not serving, but truly is selling. And that’s why you feel gross because you know, you’re starting that conversation hoping to turn the conversation so that you can somehow slip the conversation then about your business or talk about your product, or somehow have you’re looking for this opportune time to pull out this wrinkled sample from the bottom of your purse next to a kid’s cracker. You’re just waiting for that opportune moment. Hoping to shift the conversation. That’s why you feel salesy. That’s why you say you don’t like selling and it feels gross to you because you’re not being yourself.

Kristen Boss (16:20):
It doesn’t feel natural for you. Anytime it feels forced. It’s not natural. Selling only feels gross because of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you have around it. But when you shift your perspective and you see selling a serving and serving as selling, everything changes, all selling is a transactional exchange. You offer people a solution to their problems, whether it’s solving emotional pain, physical pain, mental pain, spiritual pain, whatever the pain is, you solve people’s problems. You alleviate pain. And when you were coming at it in that way, it truly does come from a heart of service. We get out of our own way. Suddenly when we’re focusing on helping someone else feel better and live better, our feelings should no longer matter. If it’s uncomfortable wondering what they think of us, you have to stop how people perceive you, you know, in your own heart. And in your own mind, when you were serving from an authentic place or from a place where you’re just out for the sale, you know the difference you can feel it. You know it, what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. I feel like a lot of personal development gurus out there say that, but it really is true. You have to stop letting stop letting other people’s opinions of you and how you run your business. dictate how you show up in your business at all.

Kristen Boss (18:15):
Selling becomes fun when you stop thinking about yourself, selling becomes fun. When you, when you’re detached from the outcome, all it is is making an offer. And when you present the right solution to someone who wants to solve their own problem, they think you with payment, they thank you, by paying for the product, selling is just an exchange of value. You give a valuable product and they give you their money. It’s an exchange of value. Again, selling is not about you meeting your needs. You can create a great selling experience for your customer by helping them feel seen, heard, understood, valued, seeking to know them, selling to others as you would have them sell on to you. If you had a yucky selling experience, instead of saying, all selling is gross, and I don’t want to be a sales salesperson at all, instead of going that route, instead of going that route, ask yourself why didn’t I like that selling experience? How did that person come across? What words did they use? What did I not like? And what do I want to do differently? What type of selling experience do I want to create? How do I want to add value to others? How do I want them to feel what experience can I create for them?

Kristen Boss (20:03):
So again, selling becomes much more fun and enjoyable when you clean up your thoughts about it and realize that selling a serving and serving the selling, selling is the highest form of serving. Actually. Do you believe that? Because it’s true. You have to let go of all of your prior experiences, especially negative ones that you’ve had about selling and stop saying in your own mind, that because of that experience, you don’t like selling. You don’t want to be a salesperson because you don’t want to be associated with that. Well, you can do it differently just because you don’t like how you, it being done. Even in this industry doesn’t mean you can’t have a say and do it differently. You absolutely can. You have to let go of your fears of what others think of you and how you sell. You can do it, right. You could do it with the purest motives and someone is still going to judge you and that’s okay. And it’s none of your business. You gotta move on because it’s not about you. It’s about the people you’re going to serve. It’s about the problems you’re going to solve.

Kristen Boss (21:21):
Another way. Selling is fun. As you clean up your beliefs, clean up your belief about your product, your service, yourself, your business, your offer, you got to clean up those beliefs. You cannot sell from shame. You need to sell from a place of service and confidence and not the confidence of I’m so great. But the confidence of, I know I can help. I desire to help. When you do this, you

Kristen Boss (21:50):
Will finally stop having so much drama about selling and you might, I actually look forward to doing it more. Short, sweet to the point, go out there and serve friends. We’ll catch you next week. That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with the review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the social sign academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals in the academy. You get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for a while. This is the premier coaching program for the Modern network marketer go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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