How many times have you said, “when I achieve this, then I’ll pursue that?”
How many times have you put off your calling by waiting to take perfect action?
In this very special bonus episode from the Becoming Boss archives is a never-before-heard recording of the first ever Purposeful Social Selling podcast. From the guest bedroom closet. Surrounded by an old high chair, forgotten dumbbells, and facing all the fear of imperfect action.
Here’s what Kristen wants you to know know about navigating your mindset to ditch the comparison and just do the thing:
- How to detect ‘when/then’ reasoning and stop it in its tracks
- What happens when we disqualify ourselves from our calling
- How we cheat ourselves when we procrastinate
- The mental narrative keeping you small and stuck
- Why showing up as yourself and nobody else is what your audience needs
- What taking massive action really looks like
Holding yourself back from sharing your voice keeps you and your business stuck in scarcity. Stop sacrificing your inner joy to pursue outward validation. It’s time to bravely believe in yourself, take messy action, and serve your clients by doing the thing you’ve been wanting to do.
Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question
Connect with Kristen here:
Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.
If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com
Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here. Applications open again in January 2021.
Transcript for Episode #34: Just do the Thing
Kristen Boss (00:05):
Welcome to purposeful social selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling and authentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hey bosses. So this is a bonus episode and
Kristen Boss (00:40):
It’s fun because it wasn’t planned. And I was going through my archives of episodes and just kind of evaluating what I had. And I see this episode all the way at the bottom called, just do the thing and it’s from the spring of 2019. So it’s been a while and I was like, what is this? And I listened to it. And it was the first podcast episode I did. But if you remember, this podcast did not launch officially until nearly a year later. And I found this, this little nugget that was hiding in my archives to be such a gem. And I just wanted to give it to you guys because there is some good truths in there. And I feel like I owe it to the girl in the closet that recorded that podcast. I literally recorded it in a closet stuffed around a high chair and dumbbells.
Kristen Boss (01:51):
And when I listened to it, I was just so proud of myself. But you’re going to hear about what comparison cost me and what waiting costs me and why I called it, just do the thing. But I decided to name the episode, actually the cost of comparison and waiting because what’s interesting is I feel, you know, I recorded that podcast episode and then I did not have a podcast until a full year later. And at the time when I was recording this particular episode, I did not know that I was going to be exclusively working with social sellers. And I didn’t know that I would be here today. And it was just really fun to listen to it from this place. So I just thought it’d be a fun, little bonus for you guys to listen to. And I had a blast listening to it.
Kristen Boss (02:43):
I have a feeling you guys will, you know, maybe laugh along with me. Think I’m ridiculous and silly, but just kind of hearing the things I had to say, because what I talk about a lot is trusting the process and be to have your own back, even when no one is buying into what you’re selling at yet. And this particular little gem that I’m sharing with you today is, was created by a girl who had no idea what her business would be, what it would become, what her business would do. But she showed up for herself by recording an episode in a closet, feeling all the fear. So I hope you guys enjoy it. And we’ll see you on the other side. Hello and welcome to becoming boss podcast. I’m your host, Kristin boss. And I am just so thrilled that you’re here by the way. Yes, that is my real last name. I totally married my husband for it.
Kristen Boss (03:48):
No boss wasn’t even cool. When I got married, it was, well, I guess it was kind of, but I am totally rocking the last name. Now. I am so glad you’re here, friend, whether you randomly stumbled across this podcast or you’re a friend of mine, maybe you’re a family member. I begged to listen and give a review. I’m sincerely thankful you’re here. And I’m so thrilled to show up for you in this space. I thought it would be fun today to give you a little bit of backstory on the birth of this podcast, how it came to be and what it’s about because you know, we all love a good birth story. Don’t we? I wish I could tell you how many times in the last year I’ve heard friends, family, clients say you really should start a podcast. Have you thought about starting the podcast where you should write a book?
Kristen Boss (04:37):
And my answer was always the same someday, someday. Well, or I want to, but what would I talk about? But honestly I said someday for more than three years guys, three years, and it always was this nagging feeling. And every time someone mentioned that they were starting a podcast, I would get serious FOMO and be like, oh, it’s not my time yet. It’s not my time. That’s what I would tell myself again. I said, someday, for more than three years, I sat back and I constantly came up with ways. I wasn’t qualified enough to do it. Like maybe you can relate to it. You guys, if you’re going to continue listening, by the way, you can always expect the real raw truth here and nothing else. I don’t pull any punches. I’m what you see. Well, I can’t say what you see is what you get, but what you hear is what you get and I’m not going to apologize for it.
Kristen Boss (05:35):
So if you’re here, I’m glad you’re here. You’re going to get the real thing. So here are some of the reasons why I felt it wasn’t time yet. I’m not the top of my career. I haven’t made my first million dollars yet. I haven’t written my book yet. I’m sure somebody else is already talking about these things. There’s so many podcasts out there. Why would anyone listen to mine? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? I convinced myself truly. I convinced myself that there wasn’t enough room for my voice. We have a planet of 7 billion people and I just thought, there’s no room for me. Somebody else is going to do it for me, I guess. Nope. I had convinced myself that there wasn’t enough room. How sad is that? I call the excuses. I was making the, when then excuses. When I make my first million, then I’ll start a podcast.
Kristen Boss (06:30):
When I write my book, then I will have a podcast when I become more. I don’t know. What’s another one. I don’t know when I have a nice pair of jeans, but seriously, we come up with all these excuses and it’s in other areas of our lives as well. Like when I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll invest in my head shots. When I lose 15 pounds, then I’ll buy a nice pair of jeans, which by the way, don’t do that, I finally decided to love my body as it is. And I went out and bought a pair of nice jeans and I’m kicking myself. I didn’t do this earlier in life by the jeans girl by the jeans. That’s my, that’s my 2 cents for you today. If you get anything, just go buy the jeans. Don’t tell your husband, I’m just kidding. But those when then equations often hold us back.
Kristen Boss (07:23):
And the, when then it couldn’t, it’s not that it won’t ever happen, but you’re literally hanging up. You’re calling to have a precursor and sometimes such a big precursor that it stalls us from taking any action at all, like making my first million. Well, when could that be? I mean, Hey, it could be this year. Great, but I’m hanging up something I feel called to do on a precursor or a qualifier. Don’t do that for yourself. It’s ridiculous. But it’s true. And we do it all the time. Maybe that’s why you haven’t started that blog or you haven’t written that book or started that business. The narrative we tell ourselves guys is so powerful. You want to know what was finally the tipping point for me? Okay. Maybe you guys can totally relate to this. There was a girl I followed on Instagram and she has a fabulous following a great account.
Kristen Boss (08:18):
And she’s a lifestyle and home decor account. If you follow me on Instagram, you will know I am not a lifestyle and home decor account. I mean, if you want to talk about laundry piled up on my couch, kids yelling in the background, but dogs barking at the squirrel outside. That’s the lifestyle we’re talking about. And dishes piled in my sink. That’s the home decor you’re going to get in my account, but that, you know, that’s my life and I dig it and I’m cool with it. But I always found myself comparing myself to her. It got so bad that I literally felt like I had to redecorate my house to get a bunch of followers on Instagram. I just thought my gallery is not pretty enough. I should pay all my walls, white buy all new furniture, get new area rugs. You know what?
Kristen Boss (09:01):
Forget painting the house. Let’s just buy a new house and make it super Instagram area and pretty inside. Am I the only one that’s thought this I actually, I did. I did paint the walls of my house, white, but it’s still pretty. It’s so pretty. I love it. I’m so happy with it. And no, I don’t post pictures all over Instagram of my white walls. It’s just for me and I’m happy. But anyways, I digress. I found myself every time I was on her account, I just felt less about myself. I always compared myself to her. I thought maybe I need to do content like hers. And I always kind of equate when we get our focus off of our purpose and what we’re supposed to be doing. I think back when I was in driver’s ed and I was learning to drive for the first time, I don’t know if you guys remember this, but I remember drifting a lot when I was driving.
Kristen Boss (09:50):
And all of a sudden, you know, we’d be going along and I hit the, the speed bumps or what are those road lines? You guys I’m totally blanking on the word, but you know, and the instructor would be like, you know, keep your eyes, you know, about 50 feet ahead of the hood of the car and where your eyes go, tends to be where the vehicle goes. And that was so true. I would see a billboard and I would be like, Ooh, what’s that accident over there? Oh, swerve the car, your vehicle that you’re in your business, your life is always going to follow what you focus on. It’s just natural. It’s law. It’s how it works. So there I was, every time I looked at her account, I felt myself going over those speed bumps, like changing lanes, drifting from my own lane. And I always felt, I always felt like crap, to be honest with you.
Kristen Boss (10:49):
So I decided I needed to follow her so that I could focus on showing up as myself and nobody else because they kept thinking maybe I need to make my content like hers. And you know what? Unfollowing was a beautiful thing. And she didn’t, I’m sure she didn’t even notice, but choose what you want to see, be vigilant about where you put your eyes. Maybe is there an account that leaves you feeling inspired now? What does it leave you feeling less than? Does it leave you with discontent and comparison unfollow? If you feel yucky, unfollow, follow people. You know, I think a lot of people, they get discouraged. They end up wanting to take a break from social media, take a break from the platforms, specifically, Instagram, Facebook. And I hear people all the time say, I just need to take a break. I just, I can’t do this social media thing anymore.
Kristen Boss (11:45):
And we have to remind ourselves that social media is always a highlight reel. And then the world of influencers, gaining followings and selling a product. Remember they’re selling you something. I do believe that the Instagram platform and landscape is changing and I believe it’s changing for the better. Some of your influencers are frustrated with the algorithm, but right now the Instagram platform and algorithm is rewarding people with good content likes. Isn’t the almighty thing anymore. It’s actually saves. And what gets people to save your, your posts when you give valuable content that’s meaningful to them. So right now in the Instagram space, there’s a shift happening towards the value. Tell me what’s a value rather than, oh, just impressed me with the light airy, perfect scene that looks like your life is absolutely perfect. And that avocado toast with a kombucha spread is just you living your best life.
Kristen Boss (12:45):
And now I’m going to go back to my barking dogs and laundry, and you know, suddenly our very normal life. That’s very normal for everybody feels very unglamorous incomes. Comparisonitis I call it and by, by content, by by joy. And we start thinking about moving and painting our house just so that we feel better about ourselves. But yeah, I just want to tell you, when you go onto the Instagram platform, you can choose what you want, your social well media experience to be. You can choose to file, to follow people that are inspiring. That lifts you up, that you love what they have to say, their contents. Great. They encourage you. You leave feeling refreshed. Maybe you like to follow someone that gives you great workout, tips, great recipes. Hey, find this at TJ Maxx, do that. I sometimes find that when you approach social media strictly from a consumer place, it can be a little exhausting, but let me challenge you.
Kristen Boss (13:43):
Especially if you’re building a business on Instagram, you’re building a presence or a platform approach, social media with a heart of service. What can I give? What can I add value to? How can I empower people? Because when we’re focused on bettering others, when we’re focused on making an impact, we’re less distracted with people doing something else. We’re less distracted with comparison feeling less than because I believe when we’re contributing to bettering others, we have a better sense of gratification and sense of self. We feel fulfilled. We feel gratitude. And when we have gratitude, we’re not stuck in this comparison game. Sound good? So yeah. Go on your social media and you click on follow. That includes me. Ideally. I’d love for you to follow me. And I hope I offer content valuable content, but Hey, if I’m making you feel less than don’t just unfollow me, but send me a map, tell me because I don’t want people feeling that way.
Kristen Boss (14:47):
Okay. So we’ll go back to, back to my story. I unfollowed her and it was, it was a good feeling. And there was going on with my life, constantly ignoring that the pole of having a podcast, I called it like the itch that scratched between your shoulder blades, that you can’t quite reach and then just bugs you. That was the podcast for me. It was just between my shoulder blades. And I was just like, I can’t, I just can’t. And I saw another girl in the same line of work that I did. And I saw that she started a podcast and it was kind of about what I wanted to talk about. And I immediately thought she took my place. I have nothing to offer out there. Like there she goes. She took it. She took my entire audience. Okay. How ridiculous is that? That is, that’s what I call the scarcity mindset where I think 7 billion people on the planet.
Kristen Boss (15:41):
And she had monopolized every single one of them. And no one was going to listen to me. That is small limited thinking. That’s scarcity thinking Marshawn Daniels of Believe, Bigger. I love her book. She says that’s stinking, shrinking thinking. And that’s totally what I did. And I felt left out, but I also said, well, my time will come. Right. Okay. Then guess what happened? So I’m going on to do, you know, one day, one day, my podcast, one day someday, when then all the things then guess what happened? I decided to peak at the girl. I had unfollowed on Instagram and I just went to her stories. Cause it’d been a while. I’m like, well, I wonder if I could handle going to her account today. Am I strong enough? Am I not going to feel like I suck at life? And so I go to her stories and Kenny, guess what happened?
Kristen Boss (16:38):
Do you know where I’m going with this? She started a podcast. She started a podcast and I felt everything inside of me curl up. I seriously felt like my heart dropped into my butt and I wanted to cry. I was, I was angry and truth be told I was, I was jealous because not of her, but I was jealous because she was braver than I was because she did the thing that I was sitting there, putting off, doing, sitting on the sidelines, disqualifying myself. But also in my mind, I viewed her as like, well, of course she does this. She has those qualifications. She is at the top of her game. Of course she has permission to do this, right? No, I, in that moment I felt so sick watching another person do the thing that I had been putting off. I decided enough I was done.
Kristen Boss (17:38):
I was sick of watching other people take action on the things that I was dreaming up and the things I knew I was meant to do. The only difference between me and them is they decided to go for it and made a promise to myself. Freaking do it not when I bought the fancy equipment, not when I had a pretty little podcast studio, all ready to go. Here I am today. And the guest bedroom closet watch between a baby high chair, a forgotten set of dumbbells doing the thing I was afraid to do. Let this be an example and let this be me giving you permission to do the thing. We hear so much about taking massive action on your dreams. But sometimes I think massive action sounds freaking terrifying because we think we have to take massive. Perfect action. Massive qualified action. No, yes.
Kristen Boss (18:32):
I did just blow raspberries into the microphone. No, that’s a bunch of bull. It really is. Take imperfect action. Take messy action. Take small action. Just take action. And by the way, don’t take the action of like getting ready to get ready. For example, the I’m going to call it like the productive procrastination, the getting ready to get ready. Like, oh look, I’m taking action, but I’m not really taking action. That means buying all the fancy podcast equipment and getting my studio to look just right and making sure everything looks perfect and taking my headshots for the podcast. No, you should see the Jerry rigged setup I have right now. It is totally MacGyver, but I made a promise to myself that I was not going to wait until I had all the perfect gear, all the perfect things and that I felt perfect. And I felt presentable.
Kristen Boss (19:26):
I decided to take messy, imperfect action and be okay with it. And the best thing is this is the first episode. So we’ll see who’s listening, but I want this to inspire you to do the thing, do the thing. Look I’m on here. I don’t know if this is going great. I’m having a great time, but show up, show up in perfectly show up authentically, just show up the narrative you’ve been telling yourself of I’m not good enough. I’m not ready. What would I talk about? There’s somebody else doing it, somebody better than I am. You have to cut that crap out. And you know what I’m talking about. That narrative that makes you play small. Think small act, small, listen, nothing changes if nothing changes. And what has to change is what you think about yourself and what you believe about yourself. Right? Whoo.
Kristen Boss (20:21):
I need, I need some church ladies in here being like amen amen. I hope we talk about this episode a year from now. And we can laugh and say it started in the closet. It started messy. It was so unfancied remember when she talked about her MacGyver go equipment. Remember when she blew raspberries into the microphone here, I am feeling truthfully more naked that I have in my whole life saying, Hey, there, I, I really hope you’re here to stay because I genuinely feel so passionate about who I want to show up for who I want to serve. And I want to serve people that were where I was at three years ago, believing the same load of bull honky butts that I was, I haven’t said bull honky button since seventh grade. Can’t believe that came out. We’re keeping that listen, Liz becoming boss podcast is not about you becoming like me.
Kristen Boss (21:17):
It’s about you becoming hashtag boss. It’s about you becoming hashtag like a boss, doing things like a boss. It’s about taking action in your life, believing in yourself, becoming the best version of yourself, stepping into your bigger purpose. It’s about chasing inner joy instead of outward validation here that maybe need to rewind here. That again, it’s about chasing your inner joy instead of outward validation. I’m huge on helping women ditch the shame game and kiss the hustle and grind culture by by because it’s everywhere. Hustle is. So last year burnout is an epidemic with millennials right now. I just call myself a millennial when I was in denial for years. But last very I’ll do, maybe I’ll do another episode on the non millennial millennial. You guys know what I’m talking about, but back to burnout, it’s an epidemic. And did you know, is actually recognized in may of 2019 this year as a medical diagnosis.
Kristen Boss (22:18):
Yes. So on this platform, what you can be expecting is that we’ll be diving deep into why burnout is so prevalent today. What we can do about it, taking the shame out of it. Oh, did you know that burnout and shame co-existed they do. In fact, they go hand in hand, they compliment each other. I want more for today’s entrepreneur, mama preneur, working mom, a business owner and mom it’s time. We unsubscribed to the hustle and ditch burnout for good am I right? Where those church ladies preach amen, but seriously until next time friends. I’m so glad you’re here. Thank you for giving this a listen. Hey, listen. If you enjoyed this episode today, would you do me a huge favor? I want to serve as many people as possible. I want to make an impact. Would you please share this with a friend, your team, your sister? I don’t know. Maybe your mom and as you know, pad podcasting is all about word of mouth
Kristen Boss (23:16):
And I want to serve and impact so many of you. So if you had a takeaway or not hot moment, go ahead and drop it into review. I would love a five star review from you. This helps the podcast get discovered. It helps me pop up, share with a friend. Again, you guys are the best and I’ll catch you guys for the next episode. That wraps up today’s episode. Be sure to leave a review and with your friends so we can continue to elevate the social selling industry together. Listen, if you want to learn how to show up on social media, without having to hustle for the results and outcomes and learn how to attract people to you and grow a sustainable business without the burnout, confusion or overwhelm, I’m inviting you to join the social selling academy, where I teach you how to organically grow, nurture, and sell to your audience in a way that has them coming back for more. So whether you are making your first $100 in this business where you were going for your first $10,000, this is the program that will meet you exactly where you are at through live coaching, community feedback, teaching modules, and more, and you can start seeing results in as little as 30 days, go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more. We’ll see you there.