Kristen talks a lot about goals here on the podcast. How to set goals, what to do to reach those goals, how to stay on track, and all the stuff in between. But have you ever wondered what uber-successful people do in order to achieve their goals? Well – Kristen is going to crack that code for you today.
It starts with a concept Kristen calls the future self exercise. This future self is a vision of yourself set in a future where you’ve already attained your goals. And its impact on your current self can help shift how you show up now in order to get the future you’ve been waiting for.
Not convinced? Listen in as Kristen talks about these topics:
- How to set the right goals for your future self in order to obtain them
- Why envisioning your future success can manifest into current success
- What showing up as your future self might look like
- How to take the emotion and attachment out of sales because you believe your success is inevitable
When you show up now in the way your future, successful self does, you’re showing up in a way that serves your audience and your business. By stepping into the space as the future version of yourself who is no longer worried and anxious about making a sale, you make more room for the things that actually move your business along. The work starts now.
Discover the power of reaching your ideal audience effortlessly with The Audience Accelerator‘ a game-changing 30-Day content strategy plan that will revolutionize your online presence through targeted marketing strategies and expert guidance.
Introducing the Social Selling Leadership School: A 12-week Advanced Leadership Certification program for Network Marketers. This program was designed to give you everything you need to be a confident and transformational coach for the people you serve and help your team get massive results. This is the ONLY Coaching Certification program built specifically for the social selling market. Find out more and join the waitlist here!.
Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https:/Kristenboss.com/question
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If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com
Transcript for Episode #171: RE-AIR Future Self Exercise
Kristen Boss (00:19): You are listening to the Kristen Boss Podcast. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. As a best-selling author and performance coach, I’m on a mission to share about sustainable and purposeful approaches to both business and life. Each week, I bring relevant topics that I believe are necessary to create a life of purpose, significance and meaning. Entrepreneurship is about so much more than growing your bottom line. It’s about who you are becoming in the process and building a life that is truly extraordinary. Entrepreneurship is really just the beginning.
Kristen Boss (00:56): Your bosses. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. This week I’m sharing with you a little tip or an exercise that I use in my business, and I actually started using it from my first day I decided to be a coach when I was thinking about where I wanted to take my future, the career I wanted to build, and it’s an exercise I still use in my business to this day. And as I was sitting with it, I’m like, I can’t believe I’ve never shared this. And if I have, I don’t think I’ve devoted an episode to it. And it really truly does devote an episode. And I really have just been thinking and sitting with, okay, so what has created the results in my life? What has created this business that I have, the book that got published, this podcast? How am I sitting on these results?
Kristen Boss (01:45): And you guys have heard me talk about consistency and compounding your results and some habits, but I think I want to dive more into habits that I have that I think maybe, I assume maybe are just a part of who I am, or maybe they’re just natural. And so I really just decided to sit with, okay, let’s put everything on the table and what are all the habits that I have that I believe got me to this place? And I’ve been in rooms with people who are worth hundreds of millions and people who are doing huge things in the world, and I’ve noticed a lot of them have these same habits. So I’m going to be sharing those with you because you can start using them today. It’s not habits to start when you make your first thousand dollars in the online space or your a hundred K or you know, don’t start doing this when you make a million dollars.
Kristen Boss (02:42): This is what you need to do right now today. Okay, so let’s get into this exercise, this habit that I have been doing in my business for a long time. And it’s this concept of sitting with your future self, the future self that has accomplished, already accomplished the big audacious goal that you currently are dreaming of. And what I want to say is be careful with how you’re choosing your goals. Because sometimes if you choose a goal that’s so big and it shuts down your imagination, it shuts down your creativity. You need to sit with a future goal that feels possible to you. It doesn’t feel completely impossible where your body shuts down, your brain rejects it and you can’t even imagine it. I want you to sit with a goal that’s big enough to where it feels uncomfortable. And I would say it triggers how mentality.
Kristen Boss (03:43): And what I mean by that is it has you asking yourself, well, well, how would I do that? How would I get that many customers? How would I grow my account like that? How would I do that? That’s great. If you have thought of a goal and it’s triggering a bunch of how energy, great. It tells me that it hasn’t shut you down and it hasn’t stopped you from thinking about the goal it’s in. In fact, it’s kind of triggered this part of you that’s like, okay, but how would I do that? That’s perfect. Okay. So I want you to sit with this goal and this concept of your future self is when you sit down and visualize your life and yourself after having accomplished the goal. And it’s not just like, and it’s interesting. It’s not just you thinking about it and moving on.
Kristen Boss (04:35): I mean, you are truly sitting down and getting very intimate with that version of yourself. And so what I did, so I’m going to give you an example of this. So if you’re like, Kristen, I don’t, I can imagine things, but what does this actually look like? Stick with me. Okay. So for me, when I decided I was going to have a coaching career and a coaching business, the huge audacious goal that was so crazy for me to wrap my mind around but didn’t shut me down was making 200 K a year. And for me, that felt like insane. I couldn’t even wrap my mind. I could kind of wrap my mind around it. I was like, okay, that’s like, it’s double then what our household income brings in. At the time, I think my brain could wrap my mind around it, but I was also kind of like, I don’t know how I’m going to do this as a coach, but I really just sat with it and I used my imagination, and then I started asking myself some questions.
Kristen Boss (05:35): Okay, the version of me who’s making 200 K a year in her coaching business or 20 K a month is coming in regularly. How does that person show up online? How do they market themselves? How do they talk about themselves? So I ask myself, okay, how do I show up? How does that version of me show up every day? How does that version of me show up to consultation calls when people get on a call with me and they want to consider hiring me as their coach? How am I showing up in the online space? What decisions am I making at home? What investment decisions do I make? How do I view, how do I view money? How do I view those things? And I truly sat down with myself and I asked myself all those questions. I even went to like, okay, what are my daily habits?
Kristen Boss (06:31): How do I solve problems? How do I handle conflict? How do I handle when somebody comes up to me and tells me, I don’t like what you’re doing, I think what you’re doing is wrong. How does that version of me handle haters? How does that version of me handle when someone disagrees with me? What does that version of me do? And also, I even got so clear, how does that version of me dress every day? What kind of music does that version of me listen to? What are my mornings? That version of me? And I just kept running many scenarios through my mind of what does that version of me do? And so something I did when I was starting out before I even had my first client, and before I started really making any money as a coach, I sat with this. And even though 20 K month felt like it felt so audacious, I was like, this is insane, but I’m going to sit here and just imagine and what am I going to do and how consistent am I?
Kristen Boss (07:31): And how do I show up and how do I talk and how do I carry myself in the world? How does that version of me walk around in the world? And so at the time, what was happening was I was, how I was showing up to my work was I was kind of rolling out of bed with a messy bun, wearing sweatpants, just waiting for someone to find me in the world, waiting for someone to say, oh, you’re a coach. I want to work with you. But what was interesting is as I was walking around in my sweatpants around the house on days that I wasn’t in the salon, I wasn’t feeling like super motivated. I wasn’t feeling super inspired. And I also realized, okay, but what if inspiration hits me and I want to do go live or do a video, and I am not looking the way I want to look, the way I want to present myself the way I want to be my most confident self.
Kristen Boss (08:28): So now, because I have a messy bun and no makeup, and I’m not ready to conquer my day, now when inspiration hits, I’m not going to do the live because I’m not ready, because I’m not dressed. I’m not looking cute or whatever. And again, it wasn’t the idea of looking cute for somebody else. The idea was in what way? I want to show up in the world where I feel confident, where I’m like, this is who I am and this is how I want to show up. And for me, I’m like, well, if I’m going live presenting myself as a coach, I don’t think I want to go live in my sweatpants with a messy bun. That’s not the way I want to show up. So I just thought, I think this future version of me, I think she wakes up every day and she takes the time to get dressed, be professional, and she shows up at her desk as if she’s waiting.
Kristen Boss (09:18): She’s expecting the next client to get on a call. That version of me does her hair, does her makeup, and gets dressed and ready for the day. That version of me is ready to go so that when she’s sitting at her desk, she feels like she’s taking herself seriously. So for me, one of the things I told myself was like, okay, this version of me, she does her hair often and for while. So I wanted to sit with that version of myself, and I took myself so seriously, guys that I wore heels under my desk, and there was something that was, it was like, I don’t know, what’s the word I’m looking for? It was communicating to my brain as I was sitting there wearing heels. It was like my brain was registering that as like, okay, it’s go time. It’s game time. And I showed up differently.
Kristen Boss (10:10): I showed up differently. And what’s so fascinating is I kept sitting with like, okay, now what else does that version of me do? And I was like, well, that version of me goes out and meets people, connects with people. And also at the time when I was doing sales calls, I was selling these big packages and selling 5,000, $10,000 packages, a thousand dollars packages. And so when I was getting on these sales calls, I know for me, I had to fully let go of my expectation or my need for them to pay me. So I came to every call, I’m just going to serve these clients. And the best way I know how a lot of people are going to say no, and I’m okay. So I was selling this high ticket, high ticket offer, and sitting with what I called my 200 K self, the self that makes that a year.
Kristen Boss (11:05): And so when I came to these sales calls, I came as that version of myself. And I thought, okay, the person who makes consistently 20 K a month, how does she handle someone saying no? How does she handle a sales call going sideways? How does she handle someone saying, no, I’m not ready to join you today, but thank you. How does she handle that? I’m like, oh, well, she takes it in the stride because she knows the money’s coming in. She’s just not worried she makes 20 K a month. Why? She knows that she’s okay and she handles these calls with grace. So what was interesting is I was able to let go of all of my need and all of my scarcity when I was coming to these calls and I was able to be fully present with a client. And I was like, okay.
Kristen Boss (11:53): I was there as my future self. I was meeting the client exactly where they were, and my brain was quiet, meaning my brain wasn’t chattering in the background while I was serving someone. My brain wasn’t like, we better close this sale. We need this offer. We need this client, we need this if we’re going to hit our goals, we need this if we’re going to do that. And if you don’t do it that there’s something wrong with you. My brain was so quiet and I was able to be fully present with the person I was serving at the time because I was on that call as my future self. And I was embodying that, and I was living that. And I remember as I, as I kept having success, soon the result, the results did show up in that way. And I was like, okay, this is working.
Kristen Boss (12:37): And every single milestone, every single new milestone in my business, I sat with, okay, how does that version of me show up in the world? And I remember my bestie and I, Samantha and I, we went to the St. Regis, I think it was the St. Regis in Aspen. And we went there together for, and we were there for a business event. And it was my first time ever having a five star experience. And I remember feeling very triggered, feeling very like, oh my gosh, I don’t know what I’m doing here. I was like, I think the Kardashians stayed at this place. And I remember at that point, I had surpassed my first goal and I was sitting with a new future vision, a new goal. And I remember going to the hotel. I’m like, okay. But I think it was at that point, I think I was working on my millionaire future self.
Kristen Boss (13:25): I’m like, okay, the future self that makes a million dollars a year, how does she walk into this hotel? How does she handle investment? How does she do those things? And that was when I had joined a big high ticket mastermind. And I kept sitting with, oh, every time I felt uncomfortable, I realized it was because my current version of myself was feeling uncomfortable because I was like, oh, this is growth. I’m going to grow into this. I’m going to give myself permission to order room service. And I was so triggered, you guys, I thought it was just so crazy. And it was so funny, Samantha, we still laugh about this. I packed a milk frother because I was like, oh, I really want froth milk with my coffee. And I packed a milk frother, not realizing that a five star hotel, the St. Regis, they can bring you frothed milk whenever you want it.
Kristen Boss (14:17): But I was living in these two realities, still remembering what it felt like to deeply struggle what it felt like to feel like my feeling fo so financially insecure to now being in this place where I’m in a five star hotel, I’m trying to figure out this new reality. I still packed a milk frother because I didn’t know that they would make that, they would bring the froth milk. But I just remember we were ordering room service, and I remember my inner self was screaming, this is too much. I can’t do this. This is very indulgent. And I remember, okay, I’m going to be with that part of myself because I think that’s still the scarce, Kristen that’s speaking up in this moment. And I’m like, okay, now what would future Kristen do in this moment? How would she view room service? How would she view this experience?
Kristen Boss (15:09): How would she view this business event? How would she view those things? And it helped inform, listen, when you sit with your future self, it helps infor inform your present actions. And when you’re taking actions that align with your future self of eventually your future self becomes your present self. I know that sounds crazy, but that is what happened over and over and over and over again for me. And it helped become a filter for all decisions in my business. So when it came for me, it came time for me to hire someone to come and work for me in my business when I hired my first virtual assistant. And she was like $50 an hour, and she was amazing. And I was like, okay. And I remember feeling like a little scarce around that being like, wow, I’m going to be paying this person up to $2,000 a month.
Kristen Boss (15:58): And I just remember feeling a little scarce, feeling a little worried, a little anxious. And then I was like, okay, but let’s just go visit my future business and my future self. What does my future self have to say about this decision? I’m like, oh, this person, the future version of me doesn’t even bat an eyelash. She hires this person. She also knows that money is coming in. She understands the value of outsourcing, understands the value of delegation. So of course she’s going to do that. And what was interesting is for me, some of you might think there’s investments of investing with a coach, investing in a program, investing in ongoing education, but then there’s the investment going into your business, investing in your company. And for me, I’ve had to really grow my investment muscle with my company. It started with a virtual assistant and then it was a podcast producer.
Kristen Boss (16:47): And then for a while, I think it was just those two for quite some time. And then as the company grew, we’re like, oh, we need another virtual assistant. We need a program manager. We need support coaches. We need those. I need a web designer. I need a videographer. I need an ads team. I need an ads consultant. And I just kept growing my company understanding in order for me to get where I’m going, I do need to outsource. I need do need to outsource, I need to hire people. And I kept, again, I kept bringing my future self into my present and asking myself, well, what is the future version of me doing this moment? What would they think about in this moment? And it’s amazing the quality of decisions you will make with your actions when you are constantly bringing your future self into the present moment.
Kristen Boss (17:41): And it’s been crazy. I’m telling you, this might be one of the best exercises that you can do. Now, for you, you might be like, Kristen, I can’t wrap my mind around 200 K. In fact, that feels very, maybe that’s a very triggering number for you. Maybe that doesn’t feel safe for you. And I do think at some point I am going to be doing a money mindset masterclass because it is hands down, the number one thing I’m asked all the time from people from many different walks of life. And for me, it was one of the biggest areas that I had to heal was my money mindset before I even started out. So it could be very easy to hear my story and think, well, of course your money mindset is great because your company does so well now. But truthfully, in the beginning, you guys, my mindset, it was I had to overcome that early.
Kristen Boss (18:29): In fact, I think I did two years of money mindset work before I charged my first dime as a coach and think, I’m so glad I did that work. So I’ll probably talk about that in the future. So maybe for you, 200 K feels very triggering. It feels unsafe, it feels like morally wrong. You don’t feel safe to make that in the world. Maybe you feel like you’re going to lose relationships, that version of you. So instead of getting triggered to death where you’re not even taking any action, I want you to sit with a goal that feels like, okay, I’m triggered. It would stretch me. So maybe for you, it’s thinking of making 50,000 a year with your online business. Maybe for you, you’re like, oh my gosh, that would be extraordinary money for me. That would be life changing money for my family.
Kristen Boss (19:23): I just want you to discover that for yourself. What is it for you? What is your goal according to your family, your lifestyle, the future you want to create for your kids? And maybe some of you, you’re like, I have never given myself permission to dream past 50 K a year because you might be thinking that’s appropriate, that’s acceptable. I won’t lose relationships at that. And we can, again, I feel like that topic in and of itself is a whole nother podcast. A I could do a training just on that. In fact, I might. So again, just sitting with like, okay, so for you, it might be like, or it might be 20,000 a year in your network marketing business, it might be 50,000 a year, your first year as a coach being like, wow, that would be amazing. So sitting with that version of you, like that version of me who’s making X dollars a year, who’s serving this many clients, or who has a team that’s this big, how do they think about this circumstance in this present moment?
Kristen Boss (20:25): Because when you’re acting from your present self over and over again, your present stays the same because you’re responding as that version of you. So for example, if you’re making a thousand dollars a month and you want to be making $5,000 a month, and every time you come across a problem you have to make a decision and you keep making decisions and taking actions from your dollars a month self-concept or way of thinking, then you’re ke going to keep making a thousand dollars a month because your actions are aligned with that identity. But if you were sitting with like, okay, but what does the person who’s making $5,000 a month, the person, how would they think about this? How would they approach this problem? What solution might they come up with? How would they approach this? How would they talk about this? Suddenly, you are responding differently than you would have when you were thinking about it from your current self.
Kristen Boss (21:19): This is why really getting intimate with your future self is vital. Some of you’re, you’re just so in touch with your present self and living in the present that you’re like, future self. What’s that? But I’m telling you guys, I do this all the time, and I just did this recently. I had a v I P day with one of my mentors, and he’s just great. And we did probably this three hour long, three hours really sitting with my future self. And it was emotional. It was so emotional to get to know that version of me and to sit in a room. It was like my visualization was so intense that I had an emotional response to it. And I sitting, I felt like I was sitting in a room with my future self, and I don’t know how much older that future self was, but I was sitting with that future self and how she was showing up in the world.
Kristen Boss (22:19): You guys, I could even tell you what she was wearing, what she looked like, how she was moving around in the world, what her social media platforms looked like, what her content looked like. And I was like, oh. And I sat with that version of myself for three hours until it felt inevitable. I’m like, I not only see her, I know her. I love her, and I’m going to invite her into my present now, and she’s going to help me start making some decisions. If you do this in your business, even if you do this in any area of your life, honestly, do it in your marriage. Do it in your friendships. I want you to think of, okay, the most happy, vibrant, alive, joyful, grateful version of me, the person who is in love with her life, even if the circumstances never change, how does she show up?
Kristen Boss (23:08): The person who’s in love with her life, my most vibrant self, how does she show up in their relationships and their friendships in my friend groups, to my workout routines, to in my home? That version of me? Again, it’s allowing your future self to inform your present decisions instead of your present self, continuing to make your present decisions and staying there. Do you see what I’m talking about? This exercise of getting intimate with your future self will completely change your life if you do it. And maybe some of you are living in the reality that you wanted for a long time. And this happens with, this happens with a lot of people. They will set out a goal and they’ll reach the goal, and then suddenly they just stay there. And oftentimes it’s because they need to cast new vision for the next goal. They need to birth a new Y, and they need to birth burst through some limitations.
Kristen Boss (24:09): They have about feeling safe to have more. This, I say this a lot with six figure earners that a lot of people do get to six figures, and they say, now, more than ever, in today’s day and age, it’s easier than ever to hit six figures and just let that soak in today for you instead of, it’s impossible for me. Just let it soak in. I’m living in a day, day and age when it’s more possible than ever. Just soak that in for a second. But what happens is I see a lot of people get stuck there because they created the goal, they get there, and then they kind of settle into it instead of challenging themselves, like, okay, can I allow myself to have more? Or they hit their first why and they haven’t birthed a new why. And this happens in my mastermind.
Kristen Boss (24:54): A lot of times, people in my mastermind, we have to help them find a new why, because they already achieved their first why. A lot of them were like, okay, I wanted to retire my husband, or I wanted to quit my nine to five, and I wanted to this to be my full-time thing. They get to six figures. So their original goal is there, and then it’s like they need to get innovative and imaginative and allow themselves to feel safe to have another goal. And it’s so fascinating the stories that people have when it comes to going for more. So friends, I just want to encourage you, take some time today. Get out a sheet of paper, and I want you to sit with your future self, the self that’s making, you know, decide. Put it down on the top of the paper, and I want you to ask yourself questions about that version of you.
Kristen Boss (25:42): How do they show up? How do they solve problems? How does this person write content? How does this person handle nos? How does this person handle rejection? How does this person handle defeat in their business? How does this person handle haters? How does this person show up in their relationships, their friendships? How does this person problem solve? Do this, and I don’t care where you have to tape up that paper, but put it up somewhere where you see it so that when you are in a moment that feels hard, that feels challenging, you look at that paper and say, oh, and inviting your future self into that conversation and into that decision and saying, okay, I know what this current version of me wants to do, but I’m going to sit with my future self and see if my decisions might look different when I’m viewing it through the lens of my future self. I guarantee you it 100% will. I hope you have fun doing this exercise because it is worth it, and it’s, it truly is one of the most transformative habits I have in my business that I still continue to do to this day. All right, friends, serve well. See you next episode.
Kristen Boss (26:50): That’s a wrap for today’s episode. Listen, if you love what you heard here today, I would love for you to leave a real quick rating and a review. This helps us show get discovered by new people. Be sure to take a screenshot of today’s episode and shout us out on Instagram. We’ll shout you right back out. If you’d like to find additional resources or discover how to work with me, head to www.kristenboss.com.