Purposeful Social Selling

Slow Evidence Ep #110

Jun 6, 2022

No one in network marketing starts out on top. As a matter of fact – Every single social seller had to start at the bottom and then work their way up. So then it would be true to say that every single social seller listening to this episode has had to deal with building up belief in themselves before they began being successful.

And keeping belief in yourself as you build towards your goals can be daunting. We all know (by now) that consistency compounds and that the secret to being successful is found in daily activities. But what’s the secret to keeping belief high enough so that you can keep going?

Well – it’s not a secret, but Kristen calls this concept “slow evidence.” Slow evidence is what happens when you quit listening to the stories and instead focus on what is going right. 

Here are a few highlights:

  • How to look out for the stories you begin to tell yourself on the way to building slow evidence
  • Why 90 days of consistent effort is where the magic starts to happen
  • How you might be using your goal against yourself
  • Why the energy behind the action is just as important as the action itself

Trusting the process is part of the process. Your brain is going to try and throw you off course, so it’s important to be aware of your stories so that you stay focused on your goal. The good news is that the further along you get, the easier it will be to find evidence until there’s a mountain behind you.

Kristen’s new Summer of Success LIVE event is happening on June 6th and 7th, 2022 and you won’t want to miss it! If you’re tired of having to choose between growing your business or spending time having some fun in the sun – then this training is for you! The Summer of Success event will give you the tools you need to grow your business in a sustainable way without sacrificing time with loved ones. Click here to register today

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here.

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

Transcript for Episode #110 Slow Evidence:

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business. In today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way.

Kristen Boss (00:11):  Hey bosses. Welcome to another episode of the podcast. Hey, if you haven’t already heard today, we have kicked off our live summer of success. Two day training event. You do not want to miss this. It’s only $9. It’s in a Facebook community. We’re keeping replays up for a week. So even if you can’t make the live training, don’t worry. We got you covered. We have the replays in the Facebook group. At the time of this recording, we have nearly 9,000 social sellers registered. I wouldn’t be surprised if we were well past 10,000 when the event actually kicks off. It’s the most extraordinary event of this summer that you want to be a part of. And I’ve designed this entire event around the idea that I see a lot of social sellers and even business owners, especially if you are a parent, I think it’s bigger for parents, but I think it’s just across the board.

Kristen Boss (01:01): I see a lot of people struggle with consistency during the summer months with their business. You know, if the kids are home, kids are home from school or there are changes in daycare, changes of schedule, or if you’re road tripping or traveling and wanting to do a lot of fun things and make memories and go camping. It’s very easy to tell yourself, I’m not going to be able to work my business. Maybe I should just put it on the back burner. I’ll revisit it in the fall. When you know, we have a more consistent schedule and I’ve said this in the last couple of episodes, but that is the greatest disservice you can do to yourself and your business. And I will say that is a hobby decision. My friends, when you decide to say, you know, I’ll pick this back up in the fall, that’s what we do with hobbies.

Kristen Boss (01:41):  We pick it up when it feels right and convenient and it’s easy. And we put it down. When there are other things we feel are competing for our priorities, with a hobby, it is not a priority. It’s just something we do when it feels convenient. But with a business, we don’t get to just put down our businesses because life feels busy or because schedules are different. It is about making a decision as a business owner. And I’m going to be talking about that at the live event today and helping you create a sustainable, actionable plan that feels doable for you when you leave the event. So you’re not going to feel overwhelmed, not confused. And you’re going to have a very simple, straightforward plan to carry you through the next eight weeks of summer. So that when by the time the fall comes around, you don’t feel like you’re starting over in your business, re waking up your audience, feeling like, oh my gosh, I’m so behind.

Kristen Boss (02:34):  How did I get here? Because if you don’t pay attention to your business this summer, and if you don’t become intentional and strategic and have a plan, your business will fall by the way, wayside. And you will feel the consequences of that come the fall. So you’re not going to want to miss it. The link is in the show notes. So make sure to do that. And the Facebook group is open and we are doing the training and the replays are available through the 13th. And also I’m doing a Q and a at the end of the event about the academy. I have a new announcement about the academy that you’re not going to want to miss. So I will announce it there as well. We will see you at that event. All right, let’s get straight to the topic for today. And I want to talk about this concept of slow evidence and this idea of slow evidence.

Kristen Boss (03:22):  It really works for all seasons of your business, whether you are working to grow your current paycheck with like, by doubling down your efforts, or you’re trying something new in your business, or if you are starting up a business, selling a new offer doing something new on social media, anything that feels new and different, that you are trying out the concept I want to pitch to you today, that is so valuable for you is the mindset and the concept of slow evidence and using slow small evidence to build your belief until you have massive evidence and massive results. Because if you’ve been following this podcast for any period of time, if you’ve read my book, pivot to purpose, I talk about this concept of consistency compounds that your results are always the product of small decisions that have compounded over time that create the larger result.

Kristen Boss (04:20):  But a lot of time, most people don’t stay consistent enough to see the compounded efforts of their results because they end up giving up too soon. They end up making judgments. They assume things aren’t working and they give up, they stop, they stall. So they never actually get to experience the magic of compounded results from consistency. Most people think they’re consistent, but when, if I’m coaching somebody, a lot of times I’m asking a lot of questions and the thing is, most people think they’re consistent, but they’re not consistent. Not nearly as, as consistent as they think they are. So when we get really clear about that, and people are like, well, how long does it take to typically see, you know, compounded results to see my consistency compound over time. And there’s not, you know, a magic solution. There’s not a magic formula. There’s not a one size fits all. It’s different for every person it’s different for every audience and every offer. But I do notice that there is small evidence that’s small and slow evidence that shows up in your first 90 days. And I would say the first marker where you feel like, okay, maybe something’s happening here. I’m telling you 90 days is the magic marker. This is why I have something called the goal getter challenge inside the academy. It’s a 90 day challenge. And what I, what that challenge is built on is helping students actually learn the build like muscle

Kristen Boss (05:56):  Memory with consistency, and they learn how it actually feels to stay consistent, what it means to build new habits in the business, and for them to look at slow evidence and for them to become a consistent business owner. And it is shocking to me, actually, it’s not shocking because I’ve been doing this for a long time, but it’s, I would say it’s shocking to the students where I would say probably eight out of 10 students that, that complete the 90 day goal getter challenge. Almost all of them say, I thought I was consistent before I did this challenge. But this challenge revealed to me all of my gaps, where I wasn’t showing up in areas where I thought I was consistent. And I wasn’t. And because it showed that to me, I was able to fix it. And then I saw results. I had never seen it before.

Kristen Boss (06:43):  A lot of people that had stalled out with like a certain paycheck at a certain income were talking people that had been trying to work towards a, a rank or an income for years, like months and years, that they were never able to attain it. And then they did the goal getter challenge. And some people, they attained the rank they’d been working towards for a year, in three months for some, it was six months, but they’re like, oh my gosh, it got done in six months when I’ve been trying this for 18 months, it, this is what it took. And I’m like, yes, because you have to understand what it, what it takes to build consistent muscle memory when it comes to showing up in your business. And it’s not easy. But the concept that helps is this concept called slow evidence. Because once you see evidence that something is actually working, it helps you stay motivated to stay in the work.

Kristen Boss (07:37):  Does it not like when you’re actually seeing results? You’re like, oh my gosh, I just got my first customer who I don’t even know, never talked with. They were a total stranger reach out to me and ask for my link to make a purchase from me. Like this happens in the academy all the time. And people think it’s like voodoo. I’m like, it’s not voodoo. This is what happens when you consistently show up, add value, you connect and you do everything I teach you. It’s not, it’s not this crazy concept. Like people will actually reach out to you and say, I’m ready to buy from you. And you’re like, I’ve never talked to you before. But what that I would say is, feels like a piece of concrete evidence. And for them, when that happens, they’re like, oh man, this is working. I’m going to keep going.

Kristen Boss (08:21):  But how are you showing up until that big piece of evidence that informs you, it’s working? How are you showing up at that point? That’s where I see people get discouraged and bail. That’s where I see people micro quit, negotiate, and get distracted. They drop the ball because they don’t see big tangible evidence yet. So it’s easy for them to assume, assume in their mind, it must not be working. So I’m either going to try something out else. I’m going to change it up. I’m going to go try this coach’s technique, or I’m going to try this person’s technique and they keep changing it up. And the problem is they’re never with something long enough in order for there to be compounded results from their consistency. Most people don’t know how to be consistent in the, in the details and consistent in their decisions for 90 days, without changing things up when their belief starts to drop.

Kristen Boss (09:23):  That’s what most people do. When most people start to lose belief that it’s working, they either change it up or they give up. And that’s when in the 90 day goal getter challenge, they actually learn how to work through that and still stay in it. And then that’s when they finally see the results because they’ve stayed with it long enough to allow it to compound. So this concept of slow evidence, it, I kind of came up with a concept when I was, I’ve been, I hired a personal trainer and I’ve, I’ve been working out and I’m four weeks in and I just got hit with this terrible cold again. It’s just, I think I’ve just because you know, the world’s opening up and I have small kids and they’re just out there everywhere. We’re just catching all the germs here. And yes, people, I use all the things, the supplements and the oils.

Kristen Boss (10:11):  I got it. I got it. But I got, I got knocked out with this sickness, but I’ve been doing this weight training program for four weeks with my personal trainer. And it’s been kicking my butt. Like I’m sore. It hurts. It challenges me. And you know, we’re, you know, I’m doing protein and carbs and like, it’s, it’s been great for me. I love it. I have a very tangible goal. I am working towards. And what’s been interesting though, is I knew because of how, because of how I teach my students and what I see my students go through with their business. I knew that this was about developing a new mindset, new habits, and new disciplines. And I knew that my brain was going to offer me stories in the first four weeks. And sure enough, it was about two weeks in my brain was like, where’s the, where’re the changes?

Kristen Boss (11:07):  What? We’re not fitting in our pants differently. I see no difference in the mirror. There’s nothing happening. Like my brain was just throwing a total tantrum. Like, where are my results. And thankfully, like I knew because I’ve been doing this work for a while. I expected my brain to say that. And I was like, oh, I was waiting for this thought to come along. Like, of course, this story would be here. So I noticed the thought I saw it. I didn’t give much power to it. I’m like, okay, this is just my brain being really impatient for the results. So what am I going to do when I have this mindset? Because I could say, forget this and give up. And now I’m not even giving it a chance or I could choose to say, okay, I see my brain with its story, but I may not be seeing like physical results in the mirror yet.

Kristen Boss (11:59):  I may not see a difference in my clothing yet, but what else is there? And that’s when I started looking at slow evidence. And for me, it started with like, oh, I’m lifting 20% more weight than I am than I was two weeks ago. Or, you know, oh, I added 50 pounds to my leg press since last week. Oh my gosh. That’s amazing. Again, slow evidence. The evidence of like, I’m getting stronger. Okay. Or I would be sore. And I’m like, okay, this is also evidence. Like, I’ve put my muscles to work. The muscle tissue is repairing itself. Like I know they’re doing the thing or the fact that I wake up hungry now I’m like, and I was telling my trainer, I’m like, I’m waking up hungry. She’s like, that’s amazing. Your metabolism is awake. It’s ready for your body to be fueled. Great things are happening.

Kristen Boss (12:49):  I’m like, awesome. So I’m like checking all these things off as like slow evidence, slow evidence. I know my metabolism is waking up. I know I’m lifting more. I know I’m showing up here. I know I’m completing the workouts consistently. I’m getting my water in. I’m hitting my protein goals. Like I’m looking at all these things. I’m ticking all the boxes. If it, if, if we are to do a side by side, I’m like looking at the business activities. I’m like, okay if I had a checklist of income-producing activity, I’m ticking all the boxes. That was what was happening. I’m like, okay, I’m ticking all the boxes that my trainer is having me do. I’m taking the boxes and my brain because I’m not seeing the big results is saying is starting to offer to me. This must not be working. And I just kind of parked that. And I said, okay, I may not be seeing huge, extraordinary results or big changes. I may not look different, but what other evidence is there?

Kristen Boss (13:48):  And I’ve used that evidence to fuel me to show up again and again and again. Okay. Here’s the evidence I have today. I can be pretty proud of that. And I just have, I’ve kept telling myself it’s literally impossible for results to not happen. If I stay consistent in these actions and habits, like I’m so convinced in my mind a, because I’ve seen it in my business, I’ve seen it with my students. I’ve seen it in so many areas of my life. I’m like, it’s literally physically impossible for things to not change. My job is to keep showing up until eventually there was all of these habits are going to compound and I’m going to see results. And it might look like, and even my trainer, she told me, she’s like, you know, I’ve had many clients where it looks like nothing’s happening for like 8, 9, 10 weeks.

Kristen Boss (14:41):  And then suddenly outta nowhere, you know, their body, now that they’ve put in a lot more muscle and their metabolism’s up like they’re, they turn into a fat-burning machine and just falls off. And it, it looks like it’s almost overnight and she’s like, you just got to trust. And it’s just so it’s been so good because I’m like, this is exactly what my students deal with. This is exactly where they are in their businesses when they are at a starting point. And they’re looking at the end goal of where they want to be. And there are all these stories of how far away that end goal is. And they get discouraged with the gap. They get discouraged with where they are and where they want to be. And because it feels so far, they start telling themselves stories like it’s never going to happen. This is taking too long.

Kristen Boss (15:28):  This is too hard. Maybe I should do something else I’ve been at this so long. Instead of, instead of you like using your goal against yourself, because I could easily do that for me, I could easily look at where I want to go and I know where I want to go. And it is a big goal. And I’m like, Ugh, I could get in my head about it. But I’m like, what’s my goal for today. What’s my goal for tomorrow. And I know if I just keep doing this, I will inevitably hit my goal, but it’s when we allow stories to infiltrate the goal. And again, it’s so fascinating because when you have the big evidence because right now I’m going to bring it back to business. In the beginning with my business, when I was talking about being a coach, you know, offering like $60 packages for, you know, an hour-long session here and there sporadically.

Kristen Boss (16:18):  And I was just getting the client here or there, or when I developed my first course and literally nobody was buying it. I went on a web, I did a webinar and I think I had 250 or 300 people on the webinar. And it was a $200 offer and nobody bought it like literally I sold it. And I thought I crushed it. I was like, oh my gosh, I crushed it. I, I was so good at selling that. No, clearly I wasn’t because nobody bought, literally I went live with 300 people and not a single soul purchased. Where would you be if that happened to you? But for me, it’s, it’s like being told no 300 times in a moment being like, wow, I just had 300 people tell me, Nope. And I could have very easily used that as evidence. Like, this is a bad offer.

Kristen Boss (17:03):  Maybe I’m not cut out to be a coach. Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing, but instead, I used it as like, okay, maybe I didn’t communicate clearly enough. Maybe I didn’t overcome objections. Maybe I didn’t communicate clearly enough. Maybe I didn’t communicate the value of this and maybe I rushed it. Maybe I’m like, maybe the problem is my selling maybe, or maybe I didn’t give enough value. So I problem solved from that, but I didn’t use that evidence to be like, I suck and all those things. And when I had one person buy from me, I used that small piece of slow evidence. I’m like, okay, one person bought there are more people I can help. If one person will buy, then five people will buy. If five people will buy, then there’s a possibility that 10 people will buy. And I clung to slow evidence.

Kristen Boss (17:49):  Like it was my job. And what happened is, as I started compounding evidence, I started to believe more and more that my results were inevitable as was, as evidence started to come in. My belief started to grow more and more and more based on the evidence. And slowly as the evidence compound, I got the result. Like literally there was a time in my life where if, if someone was to say, you know, come up with an idea of how to make a million dollars. I would’ve said like, there’s just absolutely no way. Especially the version of me that was like selling a $60 package and hadn’t made any money as a coach yet. Like the concept of selling a million dollars. Am I in coaching? Would’ve been like, you’re, you’re kidding. There’s just no way. But I’ll never forget. When I sold my first like $200 package, I was like, maybe this could work.

Kristen Boss (18:40):  And it was my slow evidence. I’m like, okay, I’m just going to keep, I’m going to take the next step after that. And then I’m going to take the next step after that. And eventually, all of the results compounded and now sitting sit, literally sitting on all the results of all that work. Now I’m sitting here with insurmountable belief and its facts. I’m like, look, I’m literally sitting on all these results. And now I show up knowing like, oh, of course, of course, this is what happens. Of course, this is how it works in business. Of course, when I do this, I’m going to see these results later. Of course, when I do a, B and C, it’s going to compound, but in the beginning, when you have no evidence, yet all you’re doing is holding onto the belief. You’re holding onto the belief. It’s possible that this could work and I’m going to keep believing until I see evidence.

Kristen Boss (19:33):  And then you get a little bit of evidence. That’s slow, small evidence, and you can choose to dismiss it and say, that’s not big enough. That’s not good enough. So for example, I could with, you know, again, with this, what I’m doing with my fitness trainer, I could look at, and I finally, you know, I took measurements and I was down like four inches everywhere at the like three week mark. And for me, I’m like, oh, that’s amazing. I’m down inches. I cannot deny this evidence. So for me, and what’s so fascinating is my brain was trying so hard to convince me that I had zero results. That absolutely nothing was happening and it wasn’t working. And I felt like I was eating way too much. I’m like, oh my gosh, this is so many calories. And there’s no way. And then of course, when I looked at the metrics, I’m like, well, the metrics don’t lie.

Kristen Boss (20:23):  The metrics say this is working. So I’m going to keep going. I’m going to trust this slow evidence. Even when it feels when I truly feel light years away from where I want to be. And this is the concept I want you to take in your business, look for slow evidence. I teach my students this it’s literally, I have these questions that I have my students answer every 30 days and their 90-day challenge. Every 30 days, they look at the compounded results that they’re creating. And I have them answer very specific markers so that they can track and look for slow evidence so that they can see this is working. If my paycheck hasn’t grown yet, here’s everything else that has grown. And I tell people this all the time, I’m like, listen, before your income grows, your impact has to grow first. So that is, you know, growing how many people are on, on your email list.

Kristen Boss (21:18):  How many people are following you on Instagram, how many friends you have on Facebook? How many people are opting in to your events? How many people are opting in to your freebie? All of those things are a precursor. That is the impact you are making. And it is a precursor to your income down the road. So when I tell them at the end of 90 days, when they’re like, oh my gosh, like I grew my Instagram following by 20%, my engagement is up by 300%. I have, you know, way more conversations, way more connections, all these things. When they look at that, they’re like, it is literally impossible for my income to not grow. If these things keep growing, if I’m staying in these conversations and I continue in these habits and what’s so fun is like a lot of people end up hitting their goal in 90 days.

Kristen Boss (22:07):  But those that don’t, they are like just shy of it. And they’re like, okay, this is great. I have so much evidence that this works. I’m going to do another round because we teach our students like you don’t just work for 90-day runs. And because you’re working sustainably and joyfully, it doesn’t feel painful to do another 90 days. It just feels like, yeah, this is what I do. And this is what consistent business is because it’s not hustle. You’re just learning to work very sustainably. And so what they do is they enter in the second round and because they have all the momentum built from their first 90 days, a lot of them explode in the results in their second 90 days. And it is so common and it surprises them. And I’m like, no, this is what compounded results look like. You had to trust the slow evidence before the big, sexy fun evidence came up to support your belief.

Kristen Boss (22:57):  But in the beginning, it is your job to believe in where you’re going. It is your job to believe in your habits and your actions. It is your job to hold the course and stay consistent and not believe the story that your brain will love to tell you. I guarantee you, your brain probably tells you once a week, if not every other week, I’m doing something wrong. And this isn’t working most of the time. And I’ve, I’ve coached students on this so many times. And most of the time, it’s just a story. Most of the time there is evidence and the people that do say I’m doing all the things. When I actually ask very pointed questions, we find out they’re not doing all the things and they’re, or if they’re saying it’s not working, what’s actually happened is they stop working. They’re not working consistently anymore because the moment they’re like this isn’t working.

Kristen Boss (23:46):  They’re not, they don’t show up as powerfully. They show up less consistently. They show their face less. They’re talking about their business less because how would you show up if you believed it? Wasn’t working. Not with enthusiasm, not with excitement, not with joy, not with intention, because then it feels pointless. Doesn’t it? When you’re telling yourself, why do this? It’s not working then, of course, you’re not going to be making sales. Of course, you’re not going to be recruiting or getting new customers. Of course, that’s not going to be happening because all you’re doing is telling yourself this isn’t working and you’re showing up in why bother energy. You could be doing the action, but the energy behind the action is like, why bother? I guess I’ll do this. And you know, I call this robot energy when you’re just ticking the boxes, but there’s zero belief in what you’re doing.

Kristen Boss (24:31):  You know, it’d be like me going to the gym, but like lifting the lowest weights and just saying, well, yeah, I guess I did. Yeah, sure. I did squats. Okay. But did you challenge yourself? Did you actually, did you feel the burn, did you do you know, my trainer says like the muscle the weight you pick up the last three reps should be to fatigue. It should, the last three reps should feel the hardest. That’s how, you know, you picked up a good weight, but are you picking, is your work picking up things like I’m going to intentionally pick up lightweight? Because I don’t want to challenge. I don’t want to be uncomfortable, but I’m, I’m just going to do the movement. That’s all I’m going to do. And Hey, that’s great to start like for me my first week, because I hadn’t been active in a long time.

Kristen Boss (25:12):  My first week was literally just getting my butt in the gym and picking up a weight. That’s all it was, it was like, I’m going to pick this up and I’m going to do low weights to trust myself to know that I can be here and I’ll show up. And because I’m trying to do this sustainably, I know I’m going to pick up heavier weights next week. And I did. But just notice if you’re, if you’re phoning it in with your work if you’re phoning it in and intentionally not challenging yourself in your work, like yeah, it might be painful to like show your face and make offers and talk boldly about your business. But if you do it enough, you build muscle memory and it becomes way less scary. I talk about this and coach this in the academy as well. So I want you to commit, to looking for slow evidence to build your belief because then once you have big evidence, your belief feels solid. Then you’re absolutely convinced, of course, this works and I’m going to keep going. And it’s so fun to see my students when they get to that place. When they’re believing holy moly, not only does this work, I not only trust the process. I now trust myself. And when you trust the process and when you trust yourself, you’re able to stay consistent. And when you stay consistent, magic happens. My friends. So look for the slow evidence today. We’ll catch you in the next episode.

Kristen Boss (26:04):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you love today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you are ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the Academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for a while. This is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer. Go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

the Podcast for the modern day network marketer and social seller.

Click below to listen on your favorite podcast player.