The Truth About Cold Messaging Ep #17

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The episode you’ve been waiting for is here: the truth about cold messaging! Listen in as Kristen spills her philosophy on cold messaging (you might be surprised!) and some detailed tips and strategies to growing your social selling business organically.

The episode you’ve been waiting for is here: the truth about cold messaging! Listen in as Kristen spills her philosophy on cold messaging (you might be surprised!) and some detailed tips and strategies to growing your social selling business organically.

  • Why you’re getting ghosted
  • How to know the time and place to talk to someone about your product
  • Why messaging with an agenda will kill your sales
  • How to be authentic AND create results in your business
  • The 2 questions to ask before you start a conversation with someone
  • Why you have to trust that enough of the right actions will produce the right results
  • Why organic marketing is better than playing the numbers game
  • How showing up from desperation moves you into hustle
  • How to message the RIGHT way

If you want to learn how to be a real human–and not a weirdo, this episode is for you!

Thanks for listening! Do you have a question about network marketing? Kristen can help! Drop your question here, and she just might answer it live on the podcast: https://kristenboss.com/question

Connect with Kristen:

Do you have a business full of customers and almost no builders? You’re in need of a reboot! Learn the three skills you can learn that will completely change your recruitment game. Check it out here.

If you’re ready to learn the simple process of running your social selling business online, you have to check out Kristen’s live group coaching program! The Social Selling Academy: www.thesocialsellingacademy.com

Interested in Kristen’s exclusive mastermind for six-figure earners in the network marketing industry? Get all the details and join the waitlist here

Transcript for Episode #17: The Truth About Cold Messaging

Kristen Boss (00:05):  Welcome to Purposeful Social Selling with Kristen Boss. I’m your host, Kristen Boss. I’m a mindset and business coach with more than 15 years experience in both the product and service based industry. I believe that social selling is the best business model for people wanting to make an impact while they make serious income. This is the podcast for the social seller, who is tired of feeling inauthentic in their business and desires to find a more purposeful and profitable way of growing their business in today’s social media landscape. In this podcast, you will learn what it takes to grow a sustainable business through impactful and social marketing. It’s time to ditch the hustle and lead from the heart. Let me show you the new way. Hey bosses! So glad you’re here. I just love sitting down to talk to y’all on a podcast episode, and today is going to be totally value-packed.

Kristen Boss (00:59):  I am coming down from a huge launch. I’ve been running for the past two weeks for my Social Selling Academy. And can I just tell you the caliber of people that have been joining that community have truly been blowing my mind, the caliber, and also, I just want to say the quality of thought people are having entering into the Social Selling Academy. They are coming with such trusting energy. They’re embracing the process. No one is there, which makes sense, I guess, because I talk about it all the time. Like not operating from hustle and no one is there joining from this hustle. Hustley scarce, desperate place. It is so beautiful to see business owners, network marketers and social sellers come in there and I can literally see them taking a breath. And I see this energy in them. It’s so freeing for them to be there and learn and be committed to a process.

Kristen Boss (02:09):  Cause that’s often what I don’t see happening in the social sign industry is that people want results. They’re very outcome oriented and they’re not process-driven. And what’s amazing about the academy. It is teaching you how to love the process, but also get results in your process so that you’re not burnt out emotionally spent and tired and doubting your entire way to your dreams. No one signs up for that, but people do want to learn how do I work from a place of joy and ease and still see results. Still have time for my family, not regret that I signed up for this. How can I reclaim my time? It is so empowering. The women that are joining there and the calls they’re already having in the life coaching, I feel deeply honored that I get to hold this space and bring this level of coaching to the network marketing and direct selling world.

Kristen Boss (03:00):  The coaching I do is not like what you might hear other coaches do. It’s very different in my academy, they get both mindset, tools and coaching. Very rarely in these type of communities. Is there the coaching component where you are actually on the spot with a coach who is unpacking and redirecting some thoughts and helping you notice some things that you’re doing, that’s getting in the way of you creating results. Oftentimes people are just either doing a live Q and a in the group, or they’re doing their teaching. It’s a very teaching oriented, which that comes to my member portal, but the weekly coaching calls is where my members actually get on and get live coaching. And the coaching that has been happening in there. I mean, it was absolutely beautiful. I just feel so privileged to be able to do this. So it was a super fun lunch, the quality of people that are in there.

Kristen Boss (04:00):  It just amazes me every day. I love showing up in there and kind of on a fun note, just, just for some of you who are also like doing this life, the social selling life, because I, I do it as well. It just looks different. Doing a launch is a lot like an end of month push at a sustained pace. So instead of like pushing for 10 days, it’s pushing for, you know, three weeks. There’s a lot of technical things that go in. So I’m looking forward to a luxurious nap and I’ve been binge watching Schitt’s Creek funny show. But it’s funny because I had my first like mom guilt moment in this. And I share this because I want you to hear that the things you’re dealing with, I am not exempt from ideal with myself. I have a four-year-old and a three-year-old they’re in their little preschool.

Kristen Boss (04:50):  My oldest is in pre-K because he’s about to turn five. And he had his little family tree project where he had to do like family photos. This was all in my launch. We all know a four-year-old is not going to cut out family member pictures and glue it onto a tree. Well, maybe they will. Maybe this is where my like, oh no, it can’t be done. Wrong comes in. But I was like, nobody has time for this. Nobody has time for this. I’m not doing this. Like any preschooler that has a project. It’s not their project. It’s their parent’s project. So it was just funny. I was dropping off my kids at a school today and I told the teacher, I said, Hey, you know what? I’m going to need the weekend. Like I know today was the deadline I need the weekend. I’ve been doing this huge launch.

Kristen Boss (05:40):  I’m going to need that to be okay with you. He’s a preschooler. He’s very much at the mercy of my schedule just didn’t happen. And the teacher was like so amazing. And she’s like, no problem. There’s no stress at all. Bring it whenever you can. I’m like, bless you. You’re my person. But here’s why I wanted to tell you that story. I could have chosen two narratives or two stories to tell myself in that moment. And the story I chose to tell myself is, is this the end of the world? I’m not a bad mom. I’m a great mom. In other ways. At the end of the day, a little family tree, isn’t going to determine if I’m a good and present mom, I could have chosen. And the thought came up. I’m not going to lie to you. The thought came up. Oh no, I’m a terrible mom.

Kristen Boss (06:26):  I’m not going to be present for my kid. Something’s terribly wrong with me. He’s totally left out. I’m literally creating this story that my kid’s going to need therapy because he didn’t get his family tree turned in time. And he had to watch all of his other friends in his classroom talk about their family tree. While he still has like construction paper at home, not pieced together as a tree. That was, that was where my brain was wanting to go. And I just decided, you know what? It’s not that big of a deal. The kid gets love and a million ways. I’m not going to choose to believe that I’m less than a mom in this moment. And it was a very freeing thought. So I just want to encourage you in this season of e-learning in the season where you’re having to maybe be a lot more involved in your kids’ projects, just have a lot of grace with yourself and don’t fall, fall victim to the story of, I’m not a good mom.

Kristen Boss (07:22):  I should do more. I’m traumatizing my child. I think that’s hilarious that I, that was a thought my brain offered to me like, oh, he’s going to need therapy for this four year old. No, he’s fine. He’s fine. Cause they’re resilient. So that’s just my little mom moment. Pep talk for all my moms out there like, Hey, I see you choose a better story for yourself. Don’t choose the one where you’re failing and going to land your kid in therapy. Choose a better thought. Okay. So all that aside, let’s get into the topic for today. Cold messaging. And I know a lot of you, I would not be surprised if this ends up being one of my most downloaded episodes, because I feel like it’s the hot topic in social selling and network marketing. It is the most polarizing topic because it seems that there’s only two sides to this.

Kristen Boss (08:19):  The only way you’re going to have success is sending cold messages, sending 20 to 30 cold messages a day. I’ve heard of some teams doing a hundred or the other side of like, don’t send any cold message at all. It’s only relationship building. It’s only attraction marketing. And you kind of just hope for the best or you stay in this relational building phase and there’s problems with both sides of this. I actually land in the middle. And a lot of people I think have drawn the conclusion or assumed that I’m just anti messaging, which is actually not true, which is why this episode is going to be so fun. And I think it’s going to be very liberating for a lot of you who feel like you’re in the middle and you’re torn and confused and you’re stuck in analysis paralysis and confusion and doubt.

Kristen Boss (09:12):  Your upline saying this, your friend over in another company is saying this, that gurus over there saying this, this membership academy is saying this like, you’re just in this state of confusion. So I’m going to clear it up for you. And I’m going to make it feel simple and feel approachable and get you into action. Get you out of this paralysis. That was kind of funny. Get you out of this paralysis and back into action. So first let’s clear something up. Let’s clear a few things up. I’m not against messaging. I am actually against cold messaging in its truest sense. And let me tell you why cold messaging by definition is when you send an unsolicited message, keyword unsolicited message into someone’s private messenger without having relationship or reason. And I’m saying like reason outside of self-serving reasons and you end up coming with your own agenda and a desired outcome in mind, that is the truest definition of cold messaging.

Kristen Boss (10:27):  It’s the same as cold calling cold messaging. If you want to know how it feels, how do you like getting cold calls it? Like I remember as a kid, mom, when someone would like cold call the house, she’d be like, they wouldn’t even get one word out. She’s a black. We don’t want it by and slam on the phone. No, thank you. Goodbye. Take my name off your list. Goodbye. That is literally the knee-jerk reaction. When you send a cold message to somebody, they literally immediately immediately think, get me off your list right now. No, thank you. Don’t want, you don’t want what you have goodbye. I don’t care if you’re the publisher’s clearing house. Is that what it is? Where they show up with a big check and balloons and like you want a million dollars. Like, even if that’s what you have to offer, you came to me unsolicited.

Kristen Boss (11:24):  I don’t want it. People do not want that. They do not want that experience. That’s not social selling. That’s just selling in order to sell in these social selling world, you need to be social. It’s not that I have anything wrong with messaging. It’s the approach to messaging that I see preached. In fact, however, I’m not opposed to messaging in the general sense. I just defined cold messaging. I’m like, yep. I’m totally against that because that’s not servant hearted. That’s cold calling. That’s not network marketing. That’s not marketing. That’s just going straight into spammy, sell sales. Okay. Actually one of the fundamental principles of organic marketing and in order for social media to work is actually you sending messages. I know you send me messages is actually a part of the equation, but it’s how, why. And when you said messages that separates you from the spammy Pammy over there, doing her cold calling.

Kristen Boss (12:41):  If your name is Pam, I apologize, but I just assigned it spammy Pammy. So the problem is the why the how and the, when you message, there is a very specific criteria in order to message the right way. There’s a good time to message, which is also why in this, like I’m just going to connect with people and build relationships. I see people stuck in relationship mode for a really long time. And they feel like I’m just building relationships. I’m, I’m staying over here and they feel positive, but then it becomes so awkward. They’ve been there for so long that now it feels incredibly awkward bringing it up at all, right? Because then you’re like, oh my gosh, I’ve been talking to her for six months every day. And now if I say something, she’s going to question all of it. She’s going to think I, this whole thing was a sham and now I don’t even know how to bring it up.

Kristen Boss (13:40):  So I’m just going to avoid it and hope maybe one day she brings it up. That’s what happens when you’re stuck in the complete opposite side. Like, oh no, no, no. I’m just never going to talk about it. Nope, Nope, Nope. Not saying that there was actually a time and place to talk to somebody about your product service or offer. There really is. And I’ll help you determine what that looks like. And that actually works for both coaches and network marketers. There’s this trend in the coaching world right now where it’s like, I see, by the way I see network marketers do this too. It’s it’s the same. I see the same tactic in both worlds. The thing in the coaches world is for them to message somebody and ask some questions like, how are you doing? How’s your year going? And then question number three is how are your business goals with the agenda?

Kristen Boss (14:31):  I see business coaches doing this with the agenda of asking the person, have you met your goals? Why haven’t you met your goals? Oh, you should talk to me because I’m going to be the person to help you meet your goals. Just so you know, I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever did that ever. Okay. I see this in network marketing being like, how are you? How’s it going? And by question three, you’re saying, so what are your health goals for the rest of the year with the agenda of controlling the conversation and moving it down that path and saying, by question five, you’re already talking about your product. That is not what I’m talking about either. Okay. That’s still self-serving. It still is going to the conversation with an agenda. It still is going they’re saying I’m going to control the outcome of this conversation.

Kristen Boss (15:20):  Can you imagine, like going to coffee with a friend who comes to coffee with that same thought in her head, like I’m going to control the outcome of this conversation. You know, nobody wants that. That’s not social. That’s not friendly. That’s not fun. No, that’s also why you’re listening to the podcast because you’re tired of not feeling social fun or authentic. It’s so funny. Someone asked me the other day. They’re like, if you were to really boil it down in your business, like why people are in the social selling academy, why people get coaching from you? It was, it blew my mind. I boiled it down. I’m like, oh, I know exactly what it is. My people, my best people are tired of feeling inauthentic in their business. They’re tired of feeling phony. They’re tired of not knowing what to say. They’re tired of feeling like you’re not making real connections with people.

Kristen Boss (16:08):  And they’re tired of feeling like they’re living a double life and they’re tired of always second guessing themselves for my people. My people just want to feel authentic while also creating results in their business. Because the narrative I see out there is that I can’t get the results I want, unless I’m doing it this way. And this way feels deeply inauthentic to me. That’s where my people are struggling. That’s what it really boils down to. That’s why it’s called for authentic social selling. There is a way to do it in a way that feels good to you in a way that feels good to your customers. And if those customers decide to join you in your business, it feels good to them. To nobody raises their hand and says, I want to spam 50 people. I want to bug everybody. I want to send 50 messages a day.

Kristen Boss (16:59):  Sure. You know what sounds really fun to me is cold calling. Nobody raises their hand for that, unless what they’re in a really desperate place and desperation is never what you should be working your business from because desperation is about meeting your needs. It’s scarcity and it gets you right into hustle. So if you’re feeling desperate in your business, I want you to check yourself. Why do you feel desperate? How is that working for you? How was that serving you? People can smell desperate. People can smell somebody that needs the sale. And that’s an unpleasant experience. I want you to think of a time when someone needed a sale from you, whether it was in a department store and a restaurant, it just got really awkward and uncomfortable. And no one felt good about it. It’s just not good. Right?

Kristen Boss (17:56):  So it’s about authenticity and there’s a way to do it. So how do we go about messaging the right way now that you know, I’m not against messaging, tell your people because some people think Kristen boss’s against messaging untrue. This is simply untrue myth busted. I’m going to tell you how it works. Okay. There’s just a specific criteria. It is about meaningful messaging. It is about engaging and connecting with people. And when you were engaging and connecting with people, there is no agenda. The only agenda is I desire to know you. I want to know you. We have things in common, which is why I tell my students find people. You actually have things in common with so that it’s easy to converse with them so that it’s easy to feel connected. I think of that movie stepbrothers with welfare and oh my goodness.

Kristen Boss (18:59):  I’m totally skipping out on his name. Can’t remember it it’ll come to me. But remember that one’s like they hated each other. And then that one scene, they’re realizing all the things they have in common. They’re like, what’s your favorite magazine? What’s your favorite hobby? What’s your favorite dinosaur. What’s your favorite? You know, they’re, they’re just asking all these things and they agree. And at the end they’re like, did we just become best friends? Yup. Okay. That’s social. That’s social selling. You want to look for people where it’s like, oh, you too, me too. Did we just become best friends? Yup. I have made amazing friendships with people online. As a matter of fact, one of my, one of my VIP clients, we became friends on Instagram, like really good friends where we ended up going on a trip together. She later hired me. She’s having amazing growth in her business.

Kristen Boss (19:48):  I’m so stinking proud of her. But we met through just having, I will tell you when we connected, I had no agenda other than just getting to know her other than just, oh, we have a lot in common. It was actually one of her recipes I loved. And I told her how obsessed obsessed I was with it. And it was so fun. So it’s again, looking for people that you have those connections with that make it easier for you to converse in a way that feels authentic because of course it’s authentic when you have a lot in common and automatically makes the conversation natural, go figure. I know this is crazy, right? So a couple of things you need to ask yourself about before you send a message. And when you’re engaging, the question you need to ask is, do you have an established history of conversing with this person?

Kristen Boss (20:40):  Or has it been one-sided that’s really important because some of you will be like, I engage with their stories 20 times all, and this, this, this happens on my Instagram account. I’ll have someone follow me and like 20 pictures in a row comment on five of them. And all of a sudden, like my newsfeed is just permeated with, with them. And it’s just natural for me as a person. Like when that happens, you go and check them out, which is fine. I’m happy to do that. But then almost every time, 99 times out of a hundred, there is like less than two days later, there is a message from them selling me something. And so I’m like, no Mino, likey block delete goodbye. I’m not the only person that does this. So asking yourself, do I have an established history of conversing back and forth with them?

Kristen Boss (21:37):  Are they engaging with you as well? Are you having organic and fun conversation or is it just really short? Are they just being polite with you? You can tell when someone’s just being polite, they L they just like what you send. Maybe they’ll give a one worded response. It’s like, nah, however, that is not your time to send a message and sell to them. It’s also not your time to really connect with them. I mean, you can, you can start a conversation, just have no agenda. Other than like, I want to get to know her more and have complete detachment from how you think that conversation needs to go. But really when you’re engaging with them, when you’re liking and commenting on their things, you show up in their newsfeed, they’re going to see your posts. So if you want to talk about your product, your service, your opportunity in your post, she’s going to see that in a passive way, in an indirect marketing way, because it didn’t end up in her inbox.

Kristen Boss (22:44):  You’ve been adding value and it’s going to show up. So again, has there been an established history of conversation or has it been one-sided and also, do you understand their felt need you there also, there needs to be to like an established history of conversation and do you know their felt need, if you’re going to be talking about your product or opportunity, remember I say this all the time, you are in the business of solving people’s problems. So if you are going to offer your business, your product, your opportunity or whatever, do you know what their problem is in order to speak to a felt need?

Kristen Boss (23:28):  When you understand their felt need, the conversation becomes a lot more powerful, becomes a lot more sincere and servant hearted, because you really do understand their problem when you want us, help them solve it. Another question to ask yourself is, am I going into this with an agenda or an outcome? I have these two precursors that I love to tell people to ask themselves when they engage in a message. Is it natural? Is your conversation, does it feel natural or does it feel forced? Does it feel a little pushed, phony? Like you’re trying to be someone you’re not. So is it natural? And is it neutral? Do you feel neutral around it? Or are you expecting an outcome from it? The moment you expect an outcome, it’s no longer in service to them. It’s in service to yourself.

Kristen Boss (24:22):  Like I say, meaningful messaging and engagement and connection is what ensures they see your content. I love the saying. I’m going to say it all the time. I feel like it needs to be a t-shirt is be a real human. Be normal. We get into these really forced, awkward conversations. Whenever we attach to the come, we become less like ourselves. We start to get really in our head because we’re starting to overthink everything we’re saying, because in our mind, it has to create the outcome. You are going to have so much more fun in your business. If you stop feeling like you have to force an outcome behind all of your actions, it’s just trusting that with enough actions consistently over time, it’s going to inevitably create outcomes.

Kristen Boss (25:11):  There’s this team, I’m coaching, I’m coaching. The, the leader of the team I’m coaching. And I did a guest training for her team and her team is learning this. And what’s so fun is the team is starting to get results. They’re enrolling when they haven’t enrolled in a long time, they’re getting new customers. And what’s fascinating is this team was very big in belly to belly work very person to person, and then COVID happened. So it’s forced the team to have to learn how to do things online. And they didn’t want to feel inauthentic. Nobody does. They don’t want people to misunderstand them. So when they released all outcomes and they just trusted that the results would inevitably come and they were just meaningfully engaging with people and having conversations with people and service to people, the team as a whole started getting results.

Kristen Boss (26:04):  And the online social media platforms started to feel way less than because you want to know how and why, because they learned how to be a real human and not be weird podcast. Episode. Number one, don’t be a weirdo or no, I think that’s maybe the second one. Anyways. It’s one of my episodes. Don’t be a weirdo. Okay. So I’m going to argue with you because it’s fun. I’m going to prove to why organic marketing is better than you playing the numbers game in messaging 30 people a day. Yay. And hoping that you get one in 32 and 30, like we’re coming up on Halloween. And y’all the only ghosts I want to hear about is not the ones in your DMS, but the ones on like Netflix or, you know, Halloween costumes, it’s time. Does that being ghosted? You’re getting ghosted because you had no relational equity or social capital with that person.

Kristen Boss (27:01):  That is why they ghost you. There just wasn’t enough trust to move forward in the conversation. So take it lesson learned, moving on. But why is organic marketing, where you are being high value through your content and what you’re offering, and you’re engaging and connecting in a human, not weird way. You’re detached from the outcomes. Here’s what happens. This is approachable for anyone. And therefore it’s duplicatable. It’s duplicatable to encourage someone to just be a real human and serve others. Like when someone joins for the first time, like there are people, they have relational equity with that they can make offers to. There are people that they love that they genuinely care for, that they can reach out to and talk to. That’s fine. It’s more so the person you haven’t talked to in 10 years, that you have no business starting a conversation about your business in your first conversation, you have literally no business, unless you have enough clout.

Kristen Boss (28:16):  Meaning if they’ve been engaging in commenting on a lot of your things, they’re showing interest. Yeah. Might be a good time to just at least thank them. Hey, thank you for that. Tell me about you. I love that support. Have you been thinking about this for yourself or were you just cheering me on this is if you just have a, a great again, you’re serving from the front you’re serving, well, you’re not attached to how the, how the message goes. Okay? You can teach anybody when they join your business to be human, add value, have meaningful connections and conversations with people. When you teach people this, they stay with you longer because they’re not emotionally burnt out from feeling rejected. When it already took everything in them, everything in them that day to face their fears and send a cold message to 70 people they haven’t talked to, but they were told that this is what gets some success.

Kristen Boss (29:17):  That person that is brand new, that had all those hopes when she joined. And she went and did that, and she talked herself up and she really put herself out there and she sent 70 messages and she gets no replies back or two replies back. She’s immediately thinking something’s wrong with me. It’s not working. And she doubts the entire business model, the business model. Wasn’t the problem. It was her marketing. She’s defeated right out of the gate, but you teach her how to meaningfully just connect with others. You can do that. That’s the way this is duplicatable. Anyone can learn how to write good content can message. People. Meaningfully can engage with others, can make offers with people when they deeply understand the felt need and have relational equity. I’m giving you guys so much good stuff today, like share this with your people, right? But it’s going to emotionally protect the time and energy of your new people.

Kristen Boss (30:30):  I have people that joined the academy that have been doing this for years. And they’re so tired. They’re so tired because of exactly what I just described. They’re so tired of overcoming their fears, which is great, but having no return on it. So this actually helps you think about that. This think about the amount of time someone’s spending sending messages. Instead of doing that like cold messages, they can spend their time writing good content and engaging and connecting, checking in with their customers so that you don’t have so much attrition. Think about that. What if more of your energy went into customer service on the backend and not so much in messaging as many people as possible on the front end, you wouldn’t have it to be doing that on the front end. If you were taking people, care of people, exceptionally well on the backend.

Kristen Boss (31:34):  And by the way, people that are exceptional taken care of through great customer service who have a great experience with you and your product. They’re telling their friends and family about you. Without you having to ask, they become your brand ambassadors. They’re like, Hey, even if they don’t want the business, they can’t help. But tell people. I love this product. I feel so great. They’re not going to tell people if you enrolled them and forgot them. If you enrolled them and said, See ya! Figure this out. If you want this, you got to show up for yourself or I’ll check in with you sometime. Hope it works out. I just want you to think about where you’re putting your energy. Another reason why organic marketing is the better, more longterm way to go. You have less objections and a much higher conversion rate because when people and inevitably do reach out to you, this is what happens to my students.

Kristen Boss (32:26):  People start reaching out to them. They reach out to them and they are already yes. A yes, because you’ve been selling to them through your content. They’ve already been talking themselves into it before they started the conversation with you. So when they come to the conversation at this point, it’s just a formality. You’re overcoming a few objections. You’re still detached from the outcome. You’re serving them and you’re helping them follow through that’s it. But you’re going to have less objections and a much higher conversion rate. You’re going to have a lot more buy-in with new team members and existing team members. I just want you to think how many people have not joined you because they believe the only way that that business model works is because they would have to message 50 people that they have no relationship with. And they’re like, no, thank your, I do not want that. How many people have not joined you? Because they’ve seen how things have been done and have written off the entire industry.

Kristen Boss (33:36):  But if they knew there was a better way of doing things, how many more people would you attract your organization? Think about that. It’s not that people don’t like the network marketing industry. They don’t like network marketers. They don’t like how it’s been done, but you get to do it different. This is why I call it social selling. So I’m like in this big I’m like, I don’t, I don’t know if it’s too big of a dream, but I want to just rebrand the entire industry where everybody’s just calling it social selling. And you’re on par with influencers, affiliates, coaches, it’s all the same. It’s all the same. But what sets network marketing apart is how they’ve done the, a lack of networking, just like I’m just going to hoard friends, follow random people and then message them without building relational equity.

Kristen Boss (34:38):  But if we’re going to do this differently, this is where we start being a real human having no agenda, not being attached to the outcome, making sure we know, we understand the felt, need doing meaningful messages, just always in service of others. Let me prepare you for something. I want to prepare you for this because it’s not always rainbows and unicorns and butterflies, organic marketing takes a lot of trust. It feels way more outside of your control than sending 30 messages. Because at the end of the day, when you send 30 messages, you can say, I reached out to 30 people today. It feels like a measurable metric for how you are doing your business work, right? Where organic marketing feels a lot more ambiguous. It’s hard to determine. You’re not really sure if it’s reaching people, organic marketing takes a big posture of trust.

Kristen Boss (35:41):  And to be honest, sending a cold message is the lazy way out. It’s a cop out. It really is because that’s you not trusting the process and forcing the outcome being like fine. I’m just going to send a bus, a bunch of messages because it’s the month end. I’m trying to get to a goal that is not what this industry is about. And I realize some people might just decide to never listen to another podcast episode of mine, because I’m saying this and I’m totally fine with that. Cause I’m here to help people do things a different way and still get results. So organic marketing is the long game. It is a game where you have to trust and validate yourself and the work you’re doing and you have to detach from the outcome of even your posts. If every post you sit down to write all my gosh and you have this thought, oh my gosh, I have to get three leads from this post.

Kristen Boss (36:35):  It puts a lot of pressure on your posting and posting is not fun anymore. People join you. Not because of that one post, but they join you because of the 11 posts before that and all the value you were giving them leading up to that point. It was just that post-war they decided there was enough value for them to make a decision. So I just want you to view your posts as a value bank that you keep going out there and you keep putting it there. And it earns interest with time. And the more interest it earns, it compounds that is organic marketing. It is like a investment or retirement savings. No matter how little you put in, the more you put in, it starts to earn interest. The more that earns in there, it starts to compound round on itself. This is true.

Kristen Boss (37:23):  I’ve seen it happen with my clients in my business and the coaching industry. It’s just the laws of organic marketing. We are in an attention economy. We have to we’re in this fight where everybody’s trying to compete for our audience’s attention. If you want their attention, do things a different way. Do it from this trusting non forest place. The truth is for you to have realistic expectations with organic marketing. It’s important for you to know this. Typically, usually it takes about 60 to 90 days. You see a shift in your audience and I’m talking like you doing it consistently doing some copywriting, adding value, engaging, releasing the outcome. I usually see magic happened between 60 and 90 days. When my clients and my students, people start reaching out to them and the conversations feel lighter and they’re easier. And they start enrolling and they start believing the process. So you have to trust in the process before you see the results, you cannot be results driven. You need to be process. If you do this, I promise you, it will completely change your experience of building the business. It will keep you in the game. Long-Term, you will have less emotional highs and lows. You will stay more consistent because you’re not doubting yourself. You’re not spiraling with emotion. You’ll attract better quality people to your team. People that have social equity, people that have been nurturing their audience.

Kristen Boss (39:05):  So I think we cleared this up today. It’s not that it’s, I’m against messaging. It’s against unsolicited messages with people. You don’t have any social capital or relational equity built with, and you’re coming to them with an agenda or an outcome. I hope this week. And moving forward, you release the outcome and show up like a real human and not be weird and just get into the business of being social and having fun. And the rest will take care of itself.

Kristen Boss (39:41):  If you want to learn how to do that quickly, like my students, and start seeing a difference in your social media and the next 60 to 90 days, get inside the Social Selling Academy and start getting results. We’ll see you inside. Until next week, friends.

Kristen Boss (40:05):  That wraps up today’s episode. Hey, if you loved today’s show, I would love for you to take a minute and give a rating with a review. If you desire to elevate the social selling industry, that means we need more people listening to this message so that they can know it can be done a different way. And if you’re ready to join me, it’s time for you to step into the Social Selling Academy, where I give you all the tools, training, and support to help you realize your goals. In the academy, you get weekly live coaching so that you are never lost or stuck in confusion. Whether you are new in the business or been in the industry for a while. This is the premier coaching program for the modern network marketer go to www.thesocialsellingacademy.com to learn more.

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